Now you can try human flesh and be a vegetarian too!

Rkolter · Post by **Rkolter** » Mon Jul 20, 2009 4:51 am

... ok, even for me, this is a bit disturbing. Still, I want to buy some.

http://www.strangenewproducts.com/2005/ ... flesh.html

Hofu - tofu that has the consistency and taste of human flesh.

Cope · Post by **Cope** » Mon Jul 20, 2009 5:34 am

I ate his tofu with fava beans, and a nice chianti.

EDIT: Or should I have made a Soylent Green reference? Damn, now I'm all indecisive.

Turnsky · Post by **Turnsky** » Mon Jul 20, 2009 7:01 am

Cope wrote:I ate his tofu with fava beans, and a nice chianti.

EDIT: Or should I have made a Soylent Green reference? Damn, now I'm all indecisive.

what next? Cofu? a tofu based cope substitute?

Tim · Post by **Tim** » Mon Jul 20, 2009 7:17 am

How the hell do they taste-test that stuff? Do they have some Fleshmaster that tastes the tofu every day, like sniffing some cognac?

Dracomax · Post by **Dracomax** » Mon Jul 20, 2009 7:22 am

Tim wrote:How the hell do they taste-test that stuff? Do they have some Fleshmaster that tastes the tofu every day, like sniffing some cognac?

more importantly, how do they ensure it tastes like human flesh?
Do they have a cannibal on staff, and pull the old we've switched hannibals "bacon" with Hufu...let's see if he notices?

Mr.Bob · Post by **Mr.Bob** » Mon Jul 20, 2009 8:22 am

by Steve
Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Rkolter · Post by **Rkolter** » Mon Jul 20, 2009 8:30 am

Mr.Bob wrote:by Steve
Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Well, color me embarassed. It came up on a current set of links. The hofu website is being squatted too. I guess they didn't have a big enough market.

Mr.Bob · Post by **Mr.Bob** » Mon Jul 20, 2009 9:38 am

I think I remember seeing the Daily show do a bit on this too, maybe 3 years ago.

IVstudios · Post by **IVstudios** » Mon Jul 20, 2009 2:16 pm

According to what I've heard, people meat tastes pretty much like pork due to similarities in human and pig biology and diet (though the quote on the site seems to disagree, but it's attributed to a dead website, so I'm not about to take it as any kind of proof). So wouldn't it be simpler to just eat pork? And if it does taste more like beef than just use beef.

I seriously doubt it's at all an actuate recreation. I mean, they have yet to come up with a convincing tofu substitute for beef or turkey, but you expect me to believe they've got human down pat?

Edited: Like a million times because I couldn't make up my mind on what I wanted to say.

BionicDance · Post by **BionicDance** » Mon Jul 20, 2009 3:22 pm

You know the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?

...the wheelchair. [rim shot]

Phact0rri · Post by **Phact0rri** » Mon Jul 20, 2009 7:04 pm

I think I remember hearing of hofu when I was a teenager and first went vegan.

yes its been around for ever.

Corgan_dane · Post by **Corgan_dane** » Mon Jul 20, 2009 8:23 pm

IVstudios wrote:According to what I've heard, people meat tastes pretty much like pork.

We're all just the spam of the universe, aren't we?

Dracomax · Post by **Dracomax** » Mon Jul 20, 2009 8:32 pm

Speak for yourself. I'm a sausage inna bun. And not one of those deluxe ones CMOT Dibbler sells.

Rkolter · Post by **Rkolter** » Tue Jul 21, 2009 4:44 am

I remember reading a national geographic article where they asked a tribe that practiced ritual cannibalism what human tasted like, and the response was that human is basically white meat and we taste a lot like pork. I will tend to trust that source.

I would bet that we don't taste EXACTLY like pig; we're probably pretty unpleasant for one - you never let a pig live 20 years before buthering it. And we're all stressed out all the time, and stress hormones make meat taste funny. It wouldn't surprise me if we're pretty bad tasting as a steak. We'd make a better salted meat, jerky, or maybe a stew with flavorful vegetables. We might be better cooked like a duck - with potatoes to absorb the juices that are later discarded.

MariaAndMichelle · Post by **MariaAndMichelle** » Tue Jul 21, 2009 11:20 pm

Ryan has thought too much about this...

Spaceprincess · Post by **Spaceprincess** » Fri Jul 24, 2009 12:39 pm

does this mean that vegans who turn into zombies have an alternative to eating humans?

Phact0rri · Post by **Phact0rri** » Fri Jul 24, 2009 8:19 pm

Spaceprincess wrote:does this mean that vegans who turn into zombies have an alternative to eating humans?

Everyone knows vegan Zombies eat Cauliflower, and heads of lettuce.

MixedMyth · Post by **MixedMyth** » Sat Jul 25, 2009 9:51 pm

were I the one to name this stuff, I probably would've called the tofuman.

Sound it out. ;D

Phact0rri · Post by **Phact0rri** » Sun Jul 26, 2009 7:30 am

I'd call it "tofLESH" complete with detatchable toe nails.

McDuffies · Post by **McDuffies** » Tue Jul 28, 2009 1:21 pm

'K', save for all people who try this once for curiousity, does anyone ever buy it on regular basis? Anyone who isn't disturbed by himself deep inside?

I still want to see a tv commercial for this.

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Now you can try human flesh and be a vegetarian too!

Now you can try human flesh and be a vegetarian too!

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