I think I'm going to kill myself...advice?

[SucksToBeMe]

I'm tired of living. I just want to die. My life sucks ass, I'm stupid, I'm poor, I'm a minority, I disgust myself, I'm a complete failure to my family, I live in Texas, and my appointment with the psychologist isn't until next week or so and I need someone to talk to now. The god forsaken anti depressents sure as hell aren't working. I wish I didn't exist. Does anyone have any helpful advice? I don't know how the hell someone could be "high on life" anyone like that I hate with envy. Damn I suck. Nevermind. Just ignore me. I suck so much I'm probably too scared to kill myself. What was God thinking when he created a wretch like me...

[ZOMBIE USER 3098]

Yeah, I gotta agree. Life sucks. All the good nicknames are taken and all the good people are gone. All my REALLY good friends are gone and gee, I was forced to move in a hell hole city. How can I solve your problem? Here, just listen to some music and get either happy or depressed by it. Another method is to sit all day and think. The best method I've done so far was to play my computer. Not that it really helps, but hey, life is a terrible stinker.<P>~Herr X <A HREF="http://ntnation.keenspace.com" TARGET=_blank>http://ntnation.keenspace.com</A>

[Brian Young]

Nah, don't do that. Just go read my comic again and learn about what happens when you commit suicide: Your brought back to life by popular demand. PS, I may do a guest strip for you.<P>(If I was in a bad mood I would have just said 'Go for it')
<P>------------------
Brian E. Young<P><A HREF="http://boygirlclub.keenspace.com/images/shirtbackdesign.jpg" TARGET=_blank>Check out my new summer shirt!</A> It's cool. <A HREF="http://boygirlclub.keenspace.com/store.html" TARGET=_blank>Go buy it.</A><P>Boys & Girls Club (Jijo no Kurabu): <A HREF="http://www.boygirlcomic.com/" TARGET=_blank>http://www.boygirlcomic.com/</A>
Gravis: <A HREF="http://gravis.keenspace.com/" TARGET=_blank>http://gravis.keenspace.com/</A> (on hiatus)
Creator of Comicollage: <A HREF="http://comicollage.keenspace.com/" TARGET=_blank>http://comicollage.keenspace.com/</A>

[Ren@shoushi]

you better not kill yourself or I'll come in after you and bring you back!<P>-r

[SucksToBeMe]

oi, I'm at my dad's house for a little while which means no art supplies+no scanner=no comic. Sorry. But once I'm temporarily rehabilitated I'll go back to my mom's house and try to do the comic again. Otherwise I might get sent to a girls' institution type thing with some sister Pope or whatever. I forgot her name. I think my doctor might increas my zolof too, that might help. In the meantime sorry for the inconvienence...

[Reiko_Slave]

DAD: <IMG SRC="http://www.plauder-smilies.de/devil/cooldevil.gif">

[SucksToBeMe]

Hehehe! How did you do that Reiko? It's tha truth and hilarious.

[Reiko_Slave]

<IMG SRC="http://www.planettribes.com/hosed/smilies/s/s/games/bof/bof2enemy/cyclops.gif">
Here is Dad ready for summer.

[SuperJoe]

Instead of killing yourself, you could kill small desert animals.<P>------------------
Oy! You there! Look!
<A HREF="http://jwalkin.keenspace.com/" TARGET=_blank>J-Walkin'</A> smells cool!
<A HREF="http://comicollage.keenspace.com/" TARGET=_blank>Comicollage</A> shows you that... It shows you nothing!
<A HREF="http://spoon.keenspace.com/" TARGET=_blank>Spoon on High</A> featuring Fire On The Mountian. But only on Sundays.
<A HREF="http://www.fourtoontellers.com" TARGET=_blank>The Four Toon Tellers</A> is the last of these links. Big whoop!
"You're fast becoming the Don Juan of the 'Space, Joe!" says Damonk. So you know it's true!

[Toddandpenguin]

hmm...nobody seriously answered your question. Was the question written in jest or for real? Anyway, I found your site from checking out my stats. yesterday 17 people came from your site to mine, so I came to see if you linked to me or something. I didnt see anything...anyway, I checked out your rants, then saw your depressing writings. You are young so, some of it will change. I dont know you or your history, but if you are serious about wanting to kill yourself, you should tell your therapist/psychiatrist. If you are too afriad to open up to your therapist, find one that you can open up to. Suicidal thoughts can come from some prescription drugs (such as anti depressants which you said you were taking.)
When I was younger, I thought things were much worse than they were. Again, I dont know your situation, but I have been through, and have had friends who had gone through rough times, and I can say this much. Things will change. Suicide is not the answer. Someday you will look back and wonder how you could of even considered the option.
I dont know if what you write is serious, or some attempt at attention, which is also normal, but I hope things are not that bad for you. If I could go back in time and give myself any advice for my roughest times, it would have been to find solace in my art, writing, or study towards improving my life. A few years of sacrifice now can mean all the difference in changing your life in the future. Thoughts of depression are only thoughts, no more real than any other thoughts, which are usually a reaction to what surrounds us. No matter what is happening in your life now, it doesn't have to be the life you live later. You write the book of your life, nobody else. Actions, what you do with your time are far more important than how you feel at any given moment. Sadness, Loneliness, as well as happiness are only temporary feelings. To kill yourself over some temporary pain is not giving your future a chance. Nobody is always happy, and when we are younger, things are particularly hard, due to physiological and psychological changes in our brains. <P> I know it's hard to see things beyond the 'right now.' Everything might seem like it will never change. It's very hard for people to see beyond their present circumstances and surroundings. We are more than the sum of those things though. We are changeable and full of possibilties. Things change a lot over the years. Try what I had mentioned before as an exercise. Imagine going back in time 5 years. What advice would you give the person that you were to make things easier? Surely there would be something you could say to help yourself. Now try and imagine yourself in 5 or maybe even 10 years from now, going back to the present day. What advice would you give yourself? Imagine that everything you wanted to happen did. How did you get there? What steps did you take? Imagine what it will take, and work on it. Lastly, one other piece of advice, since you did ask for help. Do not look for someone else to solve your problems. By which I mean, do not get into a relationship, thinking that it will help you. You should avoid relationships until you are in a better place within yourself. Until you are stronger. Too many girls with low self esteem or suicidal thoughts get caught up with the wrong guys. Guys who prey on them, abuse them, treat them like crap, and get them pregnant, and the cycle just continues. So just concentrate on yourself, find some things you are into, (obviously you like art) and don't give up. You have a whole lot of time ahead of you in which to make a change.<P> Well, I have to go now. I hope this makes some sense. I am assuming that your post was serious. You should really talk to your therapist about these feelings, or another family member you can trust. Also, if your therapist was quick to prescribe you with drugs, maybe you should find someone who relies less on medicine to fix a problem that is not physiological. (unless it is...I dont know)<P> Hope I helped somewhat.<P>~dave <P>------------------
<A HREF="http://toddandpenguin.keenspace.com/" TARGET=_blank>http://toddandpenguin.keenspace.com/</A>

[SucksToBeMe]

Wow, I haven't gotten any real advice in awhile. Since Milwood hospital actually. <P>My psychologist does know I'm suicidal and that I'm a cutter, I'm really open with her, so open the only thing that gets done is I tell my life story and there's no time left for advice. <P>I'm going to visit a psychiatrist soon who will prescribe drugs more suitable for my situation. I guess I didn't even explain my situation too well. I'm "severely depressed with psychotic features" which means I'm really depressed, so depressed in fact that I hallucinate and hear voices, I'm also "agoraphobic" which is the fear of leaving the house or going into public places, I have social anxiety and isolate. I'm also masachist and have attempted scuicide a couple times and have been hospitalized twice because of mental and phyzical damage I've done to myself, such as attempted suicide, and cutting my arm all over.<P>The cause of this is too annoying to go over. It's mostly just family problems. <P>Well my mom is bothering me now so I must depart. Write again sometime. I'll be sure to check out your comic, since I need more exposure to other art styles and such. Sounds cute, I like penguins. Anyway enough rambling, bye.

[Drooling Fan Girl]

I'm a moderator at a discussion board. We had/ have someone who has the same problem as you. She is getting help now. (I hope it's the help that she needs). I found a couple of links for her. Perhaps these might help you also?
<A HREF="http://incestabuse.about.com/cs/selfharm/index.htm" TARGET=_blank>http://incestabuse.about.com/cs/selfharm/index.htm</A> <P>and
<A HREF="http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/1872/#index" TARGET=_blank>http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/1872/#index</A> <P>specifically this page.
<A HREF="http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/1872/safety.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/1872/safety.html</A> <P>Take Care
DFG