Something really weird (need advice)

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Something really weird (need advice)

Postby Vedius Pollio on Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:10 pm

I met this working girl last night who:

* within 45 minutes of meeting me, gave me her REAL NAME and invited me to watch Dr Who with her at her house on Monday night.
* offered to sleep with me outside of work.

She was really good at fucking, and I think this just could be my meal ticket.

BUT, I'm very suspicious, because working girls don't normally ask to have a relationship outside of work, and certainly NOT with a first time customer.

Also, although she is a very good lover, this woman is really ditzy:

* She keeps preaching to me about this brand of Acai berry juice and how it did all these things for her health. (She claims it helped her discontinue Panadeine Forte that she was taking for chronic pain without any withdrawal symptoms. She claims that a few years ago, she had a massive head injury when a computer fell and cracked her skull, and was on Panadeine Forte for a long time.)

* Besides Acai berry juice, she's also interested in making aromatherapy oils and doggie shampoo. (How useful!)

* Oh, and she owns several dogs. She owns a Shih Tzu.

* She claims to be "addicted" to marijuana. (She said that she did smack a few times, but was never addicted. She evidently prefers marijuana.)

* She also has breast implants. (But I don't mind, though I normally hate implants. She's good at fucking, as I said. Very good.)

Now, is this too good to be true?

POSSIBILITIES:
1. Her offer is sincere.
2. She wants to milk me for money (or preach to me about her juice products).
3. She's mentally ill (but not dangerously so).
4. She's a psychopath and has selected me as a victim, either for herself or for some boyfriend of hers, and is planning to kill or torture me.
5. She's a junkie.

1. This just seems too good to be true, but is within the bounds of possibility. It's just that Burroughs once said: "Never trust a hooker who says she doesn't want money. She wants blood." (And why would she suddenly give away her real name to a client she's known for 5 minutes.)

2. This is likely. But I'll still accept the fucking :D

3. She might be mentally ill. As I said, she had a brain injury in 2003 and was on codeine for the skull fracture. (This seems likely: codeine is usually prescribed for those sorts of bone injuries.)

4. I think I will give her name and address to a friend of mine (in a sealed envelope) and tell her to give the envelope to the police if I DON'T RETURN.

5. I DOUBT that she's a junkie for the following reasons:
* She definitely doesn't work 7 days a week. Junkies almost always seem to.
* She lives away from the city, near the Dandenong Ranges. A junkie would live within scampering distance of both the brothel and a dealer.
* She seems to have lots of free time on her hands to make aromatherapy oils, buy properties, make plans to start up new businesses, sell Acai juice. (She has too many plans and ambitions.)
* Her pupils weren't pinned (and it was at the start of her shift at the brothel, which is the most likely time for her to have the pupils).
* I checked for the ol' mascara-on-the-arms trick. No sign of that either.
* She owns a Shih Tzu. What kind of junkie owns a Shih Tzu?

The thing is, though:
She took the stainless steel ring around my finger and said that she would only give it back when I met up with her. Then she gave me a business card (for her juice business) and asked me to email her.

Should I do it? Or should I just let her have the ring?

VP.
"Leopards invade the temple and drink the wine from the chalices; this happens suddenly; in the end it was forseen that this would happen and it is incorporated into the liturgy."
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Re: Something really weird (need advice)

Postby Vedius Pollio on Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:24 pm

Also, I am a little afraid of the psychopath possibility, so I think I will give the envelope to a friend...
"Leopards invade the temple and drink the wine from the chalices; this happens suddenly; in the end it was forseen that this would happen and it is incorporated into the liturgy."
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Re: Something really weird (need advice)

Postby Aeridus on Fri Sep 04, 2009 6:22 am

Ugh, the dreaded Acai. XD I hate all those ads purporting it to be the current miracle cure, and apparently a lot of MSN accounts have gotten hacked as well by Acai spammers.

But yeah, it doesn't hurt to find out more about her. The "give envelope of info to a friend" idea is definitely good. Perhaps she just has a fetish for guys who look like you. ;)

Also, a working girl who likes Dr Who? Clearly a classy lady. ;) I think most women trying to "milk a guy for his money" would try to appeal to more common "manly" desires such as watching a sports game together.

I do wonder if she's a bit loopy partly *because* she stopped taking meds. Acai is nutritious, sure, but it doesn't help one lose weight or suddenly recover from massive head trauma. However, it's quite likely that her body recovered enough in that span of a few years that she didn't really need the drugs anymore.

And for examples of people with massive head trauma that are generally nice, albeit very quirky, just look at Gary Busey. ;)
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Re: Something really weird (need advice)

Postby Vedius Pollio on Fri Sep 04, 2009 12:50 pm

Aeridus wrote:Also, a working girl who likes Dr Who? Clearly a classy lady. ;) I think most women trying to "milk a guy for his money" would try to appeal to more common "manly" desires such as watching a sports game together.


I wear glasses. Nobody would, in a million years, mistake me for someone who watches sports.

(For the novel I'm writing, I had to research all sorts of information about the AFL, which was tricky because I know next to nothing about Aussie Rules football.)
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Re: Something really weird (need advice)

Postby Vedius Pollio on Fri Sep 04, 2009 3:28 pm

Aeridus wrote:Perhaps she just has a fetish for guys who look like you. ;)
[...]
I do wonder if she's a bit loopy partly *because* she stopped taking meds.


She did mention that she had a crush on a cousin who looked a lot like me.

But I doubt her codeine discontinuation lead to madness.

Probably, all the weed she smoked has permanently turned her insane.

(She giggled a lot when she was fucking me, though she insisted that she wasn't stoned.)

Also, I've gotten an email reply from her and she's like "Wow! I got your email just as I was thinking about you. I must have, like, ESP or something."

Ditz. Total ditz. But good in bed.
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Re: Something really weird (need advice)

Postby Protagonist on Fri Sep 04, 2009 8:48 pm

I seem to have hit upon a dilemma. On the one hand, my first instinct is to tell you to go for it. On the other, I would feel bad if she did indeed turn out to be a psychopath an something bad happened to you. So basically, my advice is if she seems to not be a psychopath, go for it.
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Re: Something really weird (need advice)

Postby Bustertheclown on Sat Sep 05, 2009 2:05 am

Your problem, Pollio, is that you think way too fucking much for your own good. Try choosing to follow an organ other than your brain for once, because these walls of text are pretty evident that this much analysis of your life isn't exactly producing an uncluttered path through life. Just close your eyes, and take a leap. What's the worst that can happen? You die from the experience? Better than dying from no experience.
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Re: Something really weird (need advice)

Postby Vedius Pollio on Sat Sep 05, 2009 4:19 am

Bustertheclown wrote:Your problem, Pollio, is that you think way too fucking much for your own good.


True. :(
"Leopards invade the temple and drink the wine from the chalices; this happens suddenly; in the end it was forseen that this would happen and it is incorporated into the liturgy."
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Re: Something really weird (need advice)

Postby ManaUser on Tue Sep 08, 2009 9:33 am

Vedius Pollio wrote:I met this working girl last night who:

* within 45 minutes of meeting me, gave me her REAL NAME and invited me to watch Dr Who with her at her house on Monday night.
* offered to sleep with me outside of work.

She was really good at fucking, and I think this just could be my meal ticket.

BUT, I'm very suspicious, because working girls don't normally ask to have a relationship outside of work, and certainly NOT with a first time customer.

Also, although she is a very good lover, this woman is really ditzy:

* She keeps preaching to me about this brand of Acai berry juice...

Stop right there. You better get... tested.
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Re: Something really weird (need advice)

Postby Vedius Pollio on Tue Sep 08, 2009 11:48 am

ManaUser wrote:
Vedius Pollio wrote:I met this working girl last night who:

* within 45 minutes of meeting me, gave me her REAL NAME and invited me to watch Dr Who with her at her house on Monday night.
* offered to sleep with me outside of work.

She was really good at fucking, and I think this just could be my meal ticket.

BUT, I'm very suspicious, because working girls don't normally ask to have a relationship outside of work, and certainly NOT with a first time customer.

Also, although she is a very good lover, this woman is really ditzy:

* She keeps preaching to me about this brand of Acai berry juice...

Stop right there. You better get... tested.


I've met her in person so she aint a spambot.

A Cylon, possibly, but not a spambot.
"Leopards invade the temple and drink the wine from the chalices; this happens suddenly; in the end it was forseen that this would happen and it is incorporated into the liturgy."
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Re: Something really weird (need advice)

Postby ManaUser on Tue Sep 08, 2009 10:42 pm

I was kidding, of course. But it did immediately make me think of that strip, especially since you said you were suspicious of her motivations.

Additionally, I can't help but find the idea of a fruit juice company hiring hookers to seduce lonely men with subtle product references terribly amusing.
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