a rant about kinky stories

[Jerry]

Ah yes, a subset of the Clown Fetish, the ol' Cream Pie Cummer.

"Lemme tell ya, it was weird baking jizz into a vanilla cream pie, but it got her in bed so what do I care?"

I am still laughing at this...

[MistressMaggie]

Can we at least hope that the first part of that story happened as stated?

hahaha unfortunately no, I'm still too hung up on that Canadian boy to be getting into anything with anyone here.

[Kittyboymuffin]

Bahahahaha! That's better than Bel-Air.

Seconded.

[JayMoyes]

There was a guy down here putting out an indy film called "The Pet", where a lonely, wealthy young man makes a contractual agreement with a woman where she would be his pet.

She would always be nude or on a leash, on occasion, let go to run free in the yard. In agreement, she would not be harmed or abused, and always properly taken care of.

The trailer looked heartwarming, and I actually looked forward to writing good things about the movie (I had a BDSM column at the time).

Then, the trailer and plot turned ugly. Her owner added her profile to, you guessed it, a vast underground worldwide state of the art society of slave masters who, despite massive amounts of wealth to the point where they can literality grow their own slaves in farm like environments and then have private doctors modify them to match the masters every whim, still likes to buy the occasional college student from a gang of thugs.

I guess as the "conflict" of the story (as if dealing with normal people were not enough), she gets kidnapped by said society and her naive owner has to fight these elite-seal-like commandos who run the operation to get her back.

Ironically, as the director is being interviewed, he insisted the plot was realistic and he had done extensive research in the BDSM world to come up with the story.

I was disapointed. This guy for a brief second got it, then tanked the movie with an action-suspense Hollywood ending.

Despite repeated screenings and postings on the boards, I haven't heard a peep regarding the movie in years. Meanwhile, people still chortle, laugh and fondly remember "The Secretary".

Best wishes always,

Jay

[Prettydragoon]

Despite repeated screenings and postings on the boards, I haven't heard a peep regarding the movie in years.

He must have run afoul of a vast underground worldwide state of the art society of slave masters who, despite massive amounts of wealth to the point where they can literality grow their own slaves in farm like environments and then have private doctors modify them to match the masters every whim, still likes to buy the occasional college student from a gang of thugs.

I mean, a vast underground worldwide state of the art society of slave masters who, despite massive amounts of wealth to the point where they can literality grow their own slaves in farm like environments and then have private doctors modify them to match the masters every whim, still likes to buy the occasional college student from a gang of thugs can't just let people find out about its existence. That sort of organization needs secrecy.

[Halo299]

The Secretary was alright. It had some good parts but it was hard to get into it for me.

The Pet sounded very nice...till the twist.

see, that is exactly what i am talking about.

-halo

[Evilpika]

I have a theory...

A vast underground worldwide state of the art society of slave masters who, despite massive amounts of wealth to the point where they can literality grow their own slaves in farm like environments and then have private doctors modify them to match the masters every whim, still likes to buy the occasional college student from a gang of thugs might actively want to be portrayed in bad movies and poor erotic fiction.

If everyone thinks they're just a poorly thought out plot device in BDSM stories, then no one will be looking for them...

[WangyJohn]

If everyone thinks they're just a poorly thought out plot device in BDSM stories, then no one will be looking for them...

Also, that's why every cooky movie conspiracy theory is true, especially the lizard hominids. Because, no-one would ever take it seriously.

[Evilpika]

Also, that's why every cooky movie conspiracy theory is true, especially the lizard hominids. Because, no-one would ever take it seriously.

*Licks own eye* Truly.

[WangyJohn]

*Licks own eye* Truly.

Evige Blumenkraft.

...

Would it not be awsome if they made an Setting Update, anime version of the Illuminatus! Trilogy?

[Kittyboymuffin]

... I think that as soon as I've read the Illuminatus! Trilogy, I'll think that's an awesome idea. :3

[Goddessmisca]

I admit it.

I'm in said network.

[Kittyboymuffin]

Yay

[WangyJohn]

... I think that as soon as I've read the Illuminatus! Trilogy, I'll think that's an awesome idea. :3

Ypu're a Discordian, and you haven't read the Illuminatus! Trilogy? For shame!

[Kittyboymuffin]

I've been procrastinating.

[Kittyboymuffin]

Wise fwom you gwave!

Okay, a couple more cliches which have been bugging me (and I'm too lazy to reread the thread to see if any of these are reposts):

• The author of an erotic fetish story forgets that they're writing an erotic fetish story, and you end up with something that, with maybe one or two minor alterations, might work instead as an R-rated horror flick. Like ... a "robotified mind-control" story where the viewpoint character gets a computer installed in the back of her head that remotely controls her (she was actually one of the people who came up with the theory/design for it, so no "random college student from a pack of thugs" there), aaaand ... there's precisely one sex scene, with technobabble and household chores and a halfway-normal conspiracy/macguffin-technology-changing-hands plot with scenes of unpleasant violence, and it ends with "what, she's not a pleasure unit? We'll have to fix that!" Stories which use the fetish as the end, on a site in which it's usually the means (to naughtyfun). Stories which tease you and then won't put out.
• In order to give the story a veneer of realism, the main submissive character enters the BDSM situation fo the story voluntarily. However, it turns out to be not what he/she was expecting/ not what he/she, and thus now the protagonist is trapped there, despite the fact that if this was a realistic story, there'd be safewords and escape-stuff and so many safeguards against the sub getting something they fundamentally do not want, we'd be halfway to saying "they might as well not be tied down at all." And then as like not they'd end up sold as a slave in a vast underground worldwide state of the art society of slave masters who, despite massive amounts of wealth to the point where they can literality grow their own slaves in farm like environments and then have private doctors modify them to match the masters every whim, still likes to buy the occasional college student from a gang of thugs.

Hmm ... there was a third one, I'm pretty sure, but I forgot.

[Kittyboymuffin]

Oh yes, now I remember the third one!

• Automated sex-doll factories in which all of the following are true: (a) they process half-completed dolls and ship completed-dolls fully inflated, (b) the process consists of cleaning and then adding clothes, a wig, makeup, and dildos/butt plugs (not necessarily in that order), (c) it is fairly easy for a human female of approximately the right size and build to accidentally take the place of one of the dolls (actual safety systems to prevent this from happening are optional, and at most consist of a railing which is easily stepped over), and the process will be perfectly safe for her and mildly uncomfortable (apart from the dildos) at worst, (d) if any clothing or hair is detected on one such doll prior to the adding of doll-clothing and wigs, it is carefully removed via a process which works on humans. A human female is accidentally (or WAS it an accident!?) caught in the process, and is made into a sex "doll", possibly in a vast underground (ry
• The above, plus the female character in question was an industrial spy/saboteur, burglar, employee, or someone else, who had no idea that it was a sex doll factory until she stumbled upon one of the conveyor belts with half-completed sex dolls on it.

[ManaUser]

Huh. That one's new to me. Sounds like a pretty specialized genre of porn.

[Kittyboymuffin]

Well, I'll admit I'm pretty sure I've seen all of the examples at Gromet's Plaza ...

[Halo299]

i remember this thread. its like seeing a child come home.

anyway. I recently was reading a pretty good story. nothing too special. BUT, there was a twist at the end which made the story really original and cool, and put all the middle of the road stuff in a context that was truly enjoyable.

then there was another twist in the next paragraph that reestablished the status-quo, and made everything nice and shitty again. There was a sequel, it was shit.