Infidelity defined

[MistressMaggie]

So here's the deal. I want to know what you consider to be morally wrong... or at least a little guilt-inducing.

[Aeridus]

You forgot one: "Yes, but only if they are clearly in an open relationship."
Apart from that, I would not feel comfortable in such a situation.

[WangyJohn]

I voted no, because I don't want to get my ass kicked. Also, if you say you're in a relationship exclusively with someone, you also should mean it.

One could argue that it's not your problem if one side decides to open up the relationship from their end, you never agreed with any notion of fidelity. But actually, you did. You agreed with them when you agreed to live in the society you live in, you signed the wordless social contract. You agreed on social norms, saying that you will follow them in regards of others, and they, in return follow them with you.

I'm not saying that social norms are set in stone or they shouldn't be challanged, but untill monogamy is abolished, you can try to negotiate how it's an abstract consept created by out-dated notions of evolutionary biology with the fists of a lover scorned.

[MistressMaggie]

I like how someone already picked the different area code option.

Does anyone really believe that bullshit?

[Xero]

I like how someone already picked the different area code option.

Does anyone really believe that bullshit?

yes
but I'm an asshole

[MistressMaggie]

I should have known...

[Xero]

I should have known...

you should have
now come this way for your spankings

yeah I really don't worry about getting my ass kicked 'cause most people aren't stupid enough to pick fights with me, even if I'm pretty placid most of the time


and from what I've seen monogamy only works about 20% of the time anyways

[Ltc_insane]

unless it's a clearly defined open relationship between the people. i said no, hell even if it was accepted open relationship i still wouldn't say yes.

[Overblue]

If I knew someone (probaly a guy) was in a commited relationship I'll prefer to have the permission of the other person before I had sex with him. I'll probaly ask her if I can have sex with him (or kiss him if I wanted to kiss him). Also I would prefer to have sex with him with his wife (or girlfriend) watching and agree to any terms like using a condom (which I would probaly do on my own now except for oral sex even though before I had casual sex without a condom).

[Halo299]

i said no just because i can't stand drama of any type.

Plus i have little regard for cheaters, something about that just rubs me the wrong way. If you don't want to be in a committed relationship and just play the field with night after night of meaningless (safe) sex with strangers that is find and i salute your honesty, but if you are in a relationship and just want to cheat then you can fuck off, go fuck yourself, and get the fuck out.

I am not at all opposed to open relationships btw, just so long as both (all) people involved know its opened and follow what ever rules the group has established.

-halo

[Halo299]

If I knew someone (probaly a guy) was in a commited relationship I'll prefer to have the permission of the other person before I had sex with him. I'll probaly ask her if I can have sex with him (or kiss him if I wanted to kiss him). Also I would prefer to have sex with him with his wife (or girlfriend) watching and agree to any terms like using a condom (which I would probaly do on my own now except for oral sex even though before I had casual sex without a condom).

yeah something like that. Just with girls in my case.

-halo

[Jerry]

What's a moral?

[Xero]

What's a moral?

pretty much eh?

[Halo299]

What's a moral?

pretty much eh?

its ok guys, i got ya.

Morality (from the Latin moralitaser "manner, character, proper behavior") has three principal meanings.

In its first descriptive usage, morality means a code of conduct held to be authoritative in matters of right and wrong, whether by society, philosophy, religion, or individual conscience.

In its second, normative and universal, sense, morality refers to an ideal code of conduct, one which would be espoused in preference to alternatives by all rational people, under specified conditions. To deny 'morality' in this sense is a position known as moral skepticism.[1]

In its third usage 'morality' is synonymous with ethics, the systematic philosophical study of the moral domain.

Evolutionary biologists start from the assumption that morality is a product of evolutionary forces.[citation needed] On this view, moral codes are ultimately founded on emotional instincts and intuitions that were selected for in the past because they aided survival and reproduction (inclusive fitness).

I prefer

Ethics (via Latin ethica from the Ancient Greek ἠθική [φιλοσοφία] "moral philosophy", from the adjective of ἤθος ēthos "custom, habit"), a major branch of philosophy, encompasses right conduct and good life. It is significantly broader than the common conception of analyzing right and wrong. A central aspect of ethics is "the good life", the life worth living or life that is satisfying, which is held by many philosophers to be more important than moral conduct. The major problem is the discovery of the summum bonum, the greatest good. The right act can be identified as the one causing the greatest good and the immoral act as the one impeding it.

actually these things aren't just personal codes to me, my GF is somewhat involved in a medical field and a big part of her education has been stuff about ethics. I don't understand all of it (she took the classes and has the degree not me), and i don't quite agree with everything she's been taught, but i like how ethics can be applied on a logical bases without needing to evoke some higher power (which of course is relative to the person doing the evoking)

Nothing is perfect but i think this is the right way to go.

now, back on topic.

in my own relationship, there are rules that we established that would allow sex outside the relationship, but to this day they have never been used. I will say though that just having the rules there gets rid of a lot of stress that might otherwise be around. At least that is the way it has worked for me.

-halo

[Ce6]

I vote no, simply because "no drama" is one of my rules that I live by.
If this hypothetical person was involved in an open and honest relationship and then sought me out, I'd consider it because of the greatly diminished potential for real drama.

As for my personal relationships, it's never really been a big deal, but then it's been a damn long time since I've bothered with one.

[Lulujayne]

Halo and Aeridus took the words out of my mouth.

Besides, for myself, I don't like to do things that I wouldn't want done to me.

[Leeloo]

Not if it's someone I care about. Meaning the person coming on to me, not the boyfriend. Well, same if I care about the boyfriend, though. The reason being that that person would be the one dealing with it afterward (guilt, getting found out, etc).

If it was a random stranger, I would probably be worried about the ass kicking.

It's never going to happen though, women don't just throw themselves at me. And I tend to scare them away, if I try to make the first move.

[Lulujayne]

The reason being that that person would be the one dealing with it afterward (guilt, getting found out, etc).

Ahh, the unavoidable Monkeysphere

[Boring 7]

I don't fuck people who don't love me, and the given sequence of events implies one night stands and fuckin' fer fun.

If the cheater loved me truly, madly, deeply, and I cared about them too then chances are they would not be "cheating". (I do not consider, "we are polyamorous" to be cheating, it is the act of betraying, lying, and/or breaking of trust that is "cheating" you see.) Or I would somehow have fallen for a total jerk in which case I deserve the drama and bullshit to remind myself why you don't date liars.

That's because I'm all selfish and want my dancing to be about love.

As for other cheaters, it only counts if you get caught, but you usually get caught in the end. Lolbuttrape, because even if it is true that humans are not naturally monogamous, being able to "hit it and quit it" is unnatural too.

[Vedius Pollio]

I would indeed sleep with someone else's girlfriend. Actually, I'm attracted to a lot of fine fillets that are already taken.