I'm getting smaller!

BriHahn · Post by **BriHahn** » Thu May 03, 2007 4:29 pm

Girls, if you want to lose a couple of inches quick, get a sea clay body wrap.

Holy crap, I lost almost three inches total off of my waist! And now my ass is hiked up sky high! I think I lost about half a size in my jeans! And that's just ONE SESSION!

I am so going back. ASAP.

Xnapalmxmorningx · Post by **Xnapalmxmorningx** » Thu May 03, 2007 4:31 pm

did they also wrap you up in seran wrap?

Swordsman3003 · Post by **Swordsman3003** » Thu May 03, 2007 4:39 pm

By what mechanism does clay destroy the fat cells inside your body?

Halo299 · Post by **Halo299** » Thu May 03, 2007 5:59 pm

swordsman3003 wrote:By what mechanism does clay destroy the fat cells inside your body?

with swords of course

...that are made of guns...that shoot swords...with guns on them.

-halo

LeftTentacleGreen · Post by **LeftTentacleGreen** » Thu May 03, 2007 6:21 pm

Its a loss of water weight from all over your body and your flesh contracts as a result of this sudden dehydration. Its not weight loss, its more like turning your skin into beef jerky.

JohnnyTwoEyes · Post by **JohnnyTwoEyes** » Thu May 03, 2007 6:25 pm

LeftTentacleGreen wrote:Its a loss of water weight from all over your body and your flesh contracts as a result of this sudden dehydration. Its not weight loss, its more like turning your skin into beef jerky.

slimming AND delicious? I'm sold.

I've been losing weight because I'm on the workforce again, though I'm sure I'm going to put it back on as my boss keeps cutting my hours. Sure, I said I had a flexible schedule, but ten hours a week isn't exactly living money.

Lulujayne · Post by **Lulujayne** » Thu May 03, 2007 6:51 pm

There's a cosmetic surgery at the corner of my street, well at least that's what they tout themselves as 'though they don't do any surgery on site as such. The big thing that they promote is "rolling." Apparently it removes pounds and pounds and totally shrinks and destroys fat cells.

For a laugh I went in with a friend of mine and asked just exactly how this "rolling" worked. They seriously expected me to believe that by literally rolling these tiny little paint-applicator-type-thingies all over your body not only re-shapes fat cells, but can magically roll them out of existence.

I think rollers are cosmetic advisors to intelligent design believers.

Lowky · Post by **Lowky** » Thu May 03, 2007 6:56 pm

Lulujayne wrote:There's a cosmetic surgery at the corner of my street, well at least that's what they tout themselves as 'though they don't do any surgery on site as such. The big thing that they promote is "rolling." Apparently it removes pounds and pounds and totally shrinks and destroys fat cells.

For a laugh I went in with a friend of mine and asked just exactly how this "rolling" worked. They seriously expected me to believe that by literally rolling these tiny little paint-applicator-type-thingies all over your body not only re-shapes fat cells, but can magically roll them out of existence.

I think rollers are cosmetic advisors to intelligent design believers.

I could possibly see it breaking up cellulite, and it being redistributed elsewhere on the body, but yeah, I don't see it as a weight loss method.

Ce6 · Post by **Ce6** » Thu May 03, 2007 7:17 pm

The only quick weight-loss trick I've found recently which actually works is food poisoning.
I managed to lose 5-6 pounds in 2 days this past x-mas, even while staying hydrated, but I really wouldn't recommend it.

Chthulhu · Post by **Chthulhu** » Thu May 03, 2007 7:23 pm

Lulujayne wrote:There's a cosmetic surgery at the corner of my street, well at least that's what they tout themselves as 'though they don't do any surgery on site as such. The big thing that they promote is "rolling." Apparently it removes pounds and pounds and totally shrinks and destroys fat cells.

For a laugh I went in with a friend of mine and asked just exactly how this "rolling" worked. They seriously expected me to believe that by literally rolling these tiny little paint-applicator-type-thingies all over your body not only re-shapes fat cells, but can magically roll them out of existence.

I think rollers are cosmetic advisors to intelligent design believers.

That puts me in mind of this story/comic by Jocelyn "The New Adventures of Bobbin" Yik:

http://slimderella.bobbin-comic.com/01.html

Cryogenick · Post by **Cryogenick** » Thu May 03, 2007 8:51 pm

Nightingale wrote:
ce6 wrote:The only quick weight-loss trick I've found recently which actually works is food poisoning.
I managed to lose 5-6 pounds in 2 days this past x-mas, even while staying hydrated, but I really wouldn't recommend it.
Don't forget tape worms! They used to be sold as weight loss treatments.

"No ill effects!"

-cryo

Lulujayne · Post by **Lulujayne** » Thu May 03, 2007 11:07 pm

Are tapeworms the ones that can end up in your brain if you leave them untreated for long enough?

Ugh.

Disclaimer - I have yet another flu/cold thing and can't be assed to google. Meh.

*curls up fetal*

Prettydragoon · Post by **Prettydragoon** » Thu May 03, 2007 11:43 pm

The best thing I've found to lose pounds fast is a trip to England. zOMG! The price tags don't look so bad at first. Until you realize you need to multiply them by 1.5 (or 2, for you 'Murricans)

Katjapurrs · Post by **Katjapurrs** » Fri May 04, 2007 8:09 am

No Diet, "No Baths"?, No Exercise

Eww.

Peaches · Post by **Peaches** » Fri May 04, 2007 10:37 am

If you're gonna eat that big pile of food, I guess no measure is too extreme.

LeftTentacleGreen · Post by **LeftTentacleGreen** » Fri May 04, 2007 2:58 pm

Not even a pile of food THIS big?

Aeridus · Post by **Aeridus** » Fri May 04, 2007 9:17 pm

I just had a stomach orgasm.

Seth Marati · Post by **Seth Marati** » Sat May 05, 2007 8:42 am

Mine seems to have curled up into a little ball. I think I can hear it crying.

Anything that's just "too much", when it's food-related, makes some deeply recessed part of my mind very upset. I don't understand why.

Jackalope · Post by **Jackalope** » Wed May 09, 2007 3:33 am

Live a high-stress life! Not sleeping much and not eating will make the pounds melt off. I've lost another 15 pounds and I'm not sure when they left. Having a bunch of people decide to dredge up every quarrel and grudge from the last 12 years, including things that I can only possibly be considered at fault for because I'm the only person left alive to blame has done wonders for my weightloss regime. I'd wondered why my silver tribal bracelet was falling off my arm until I stepped on the scale this morning...

215 pounds. That means 75 more to go before I get back down to a reasonable weight. The endocrinologist will be thrilled when I see him this week.

Slander · Post by **Slander** » Wed May 09, 2007 4:56 pm

Tapeworms? Fuck that noise. I like girls with a little curve on 'em. I'd rather have sex with an overweight woman than with a woman who's literally killing herself to be thin.

I'm eating healthier and exercising more these days, but, personally, I don't care if I'm fat. I just want my body to continue functioning properly for a good, long time.