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Postby Queenhank on Mon Apr 03, 2006 12:53 am

The salavation response is kinda involuntary, isn't it...? The mouth just goes "Giant Clit!! I want it!!"


Hey, I won't stop you... :wink:

Well, so long as I get to salivate on yours...
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Postby Aeridus on Mon Apr 03, 2006 3:48 am

Honor wrote:
aeridus wrote:Pictures of My Member (NSFW of course):


That's... um... That's a nice... uh... penis there... dude.

>.>;;

Howcome every time I see one of those I think like ¬.¬ "...is it supposed to look like that?"


Yes, yes it is supposed to look like that. At least my penis looks tame compared to some of the mutated penii I've seen on various "penis enlargement" sites. (Not that I ever want to use those products on myself... :roll: ) Besides, the penis is basically a large clit when you're talking semantics (they even look very much the same shape-wise). And testicles are just guy-ovaries in a sense.
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Postby UgghTheCaveman on Mon Apr 03, 2006 6:03 am

Danke Misca, the precious little princess and her two demoniacally-inclined brothers are currently turning my household into a zoo...we now have one dog (half pitt-bull, quarter husky, quarter lab, well indoctrinated as to who was alpha right off, and given several courses of obedience school, so now he THINKS he's a 15 pound lapdog with a Jack Russel Terrier's desire to please and be friends, is afraid of the dark, vaccuums, cats, Daddy yelling, and sleeping alone), a snake (beautful specimen of ball python named Monty, 5 feet long, at 4 years old), a cage full of breeder/feeder rats, two parakeets (the precious angel's current project, both "rares" in coloration), a pair of house geckos who cuss me out all night ("fuck you! fuck you!!" over the crickets' noise, a leopard gecko, and a 6 year old Iguana who roams free in the house named "Ignatius P Lizard (Iggy, for short) who likes to dive bomb from the curtain rods...camping with this family is quite the adventure, as we have to find temporary housing for Iggy, take the dog with us, and then deal with his neurotic fears, while my kids learn a bit more, each time, about woodsmanship.

But it's fun. SO far, I have the only 8,9, and 10 year old trio in the state I know of who'd RATHER "tickle" trout in glacial melt rivers (the Nooksack) than use tackle, who've raised chickens in a suburban back yard (starting from a box in the rumpus rioom until first molt) specifically FOR BBQ purposes, then bragged about it at school, and had one of them lecture their class on why "girl crabs are more important than boy crabs, which is why you can keep pretty much all the boys you can catch, but have to let the girls go", complete with a statistical breeding commentary (one male can fertilize the egg production of several hundred females, but one female can only lay so many eggs, which will only get fertilized ONCE, no matter how many males are around), and have insisted on keeping, and nursing back to health, a small octopus we once brought up injured in a crab ring (which required trashing the ring to free the octopus, naturally).


Either I'm raising the next generation of Steve Irwins, here, with a PAC-NW bent, or I've got the future of wildlife conservationism and veterinary medicine on my hands, I think (or maybe just a handful of zoologists)
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Postby Nithos on Mon Apr 03, 2006 9:17 am

:o Can I be the meat in a Maryx/Awkward sandwich? Or maybe I could just stand back and watch, maybe supply a little mustard?

Oh, and I suppose I'll post a pic, I've got a half decent one handy.

Image



P.S. - Uggh, the family sounds adorable, and I'm not much for kids and family life. :D
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Postby Lictor on Mon Apr 03, 2006 10:15 am

As everyone is sharing. Here is a picture of me. I should probably get a haircut soon.

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Postby Swordsman3003 on Mon Apr 03, 2006 12:00 pm

Yeah that clit thing is amazing.
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Postby UgghTheCaveman on Mon Apr 03, 2006 12:43 pm

Thanks Nithos....I never thought I was much for kids and family life, myself...figured myself for the "party hard, burnout harder, end up being harvested for organs by 35 or 40" type. Turned out I was just hanging with the wrong women...hooked up with my wife (second attempt at marriage...she took the time to put me back together after the first, and wouldn't accept any proposals until after our second was born, just to make sure I wasn't using her as a "security blanket" [and also assured me that if she decided I wasn't the right "daddy" for the two I'd fathered, it wouldn't slow her down any, she was quite capable of handling them AND herself, anytime she or I chose to go another way, and IF that was the choice either made, she wouldn't WANT me involved in any way..."It'd be worth having all the financial responsibility in order to not have to deal with someone I can't live with", in her words])


Next thing I knew, they were annoying me by drooling, pooping, and peeing on everything, then grabbing everything they could crawl to, pull themselves up, and reach, then grabbing anything they could climb to (and an 18 month old can find ways to climb on top of a full sized refridgerator, or into cabinets ADULTS have issues getting things down from, quite easily), and THEN, suddenly, first one, then the next, then the third were ready to start being truly "interesting" to Daddy, beyond the fun of eliciting baby smiles and giggles, and amazing myself at how much mess they could make, and how much they'd eat, when I dished them out "adult food", once their tummies could handle it (my eldest had homemade lasagna for his first "real food" meal, and ate three times as much as I did, painting himself and his blanky bright red all over in the process...I laid him on the blanket on a linoleum floor, put a plate in front of him with a quarter serving, and let him go at it with both fists, re-serving upon demand....the next day's morning diaper was terrifying).

Now they're at the age where they are "little people" each with a distinct, though forming personality, each with serious interests, curiosities, and talents, and each of them pick my brain daily for tidbits and in-depth knowledge here and there...the youngest has a talent for logic and language, and has already learned HTML, DHTML, and XHTML, is working on XML, Jscript, and VBscript, and will soon begin on J+ and C++ from MS VStudio.NET, under my tutaledge (I'm in school for comp sci ATM), the eldest has already built 4 PCs from my "parts pile" that ran, and learned to look up the power/usb pin connector diagrams from manufacturer sites, though he needs his brother to install the software for him, most often, and has also taken the AC Delco stock radio we pulled from our newest car, wired it into a bastardized computer 12v power source, wired in speakers, and ended up[ with a 6 CD AM/FM cassette boom box in a homemade case with built-in clock and 6X6 presets on the tuner (with much help from dad, and a couple specialty ordered parts from Best Buy's installer guys, but he did MOST of the work, all of the soldering [cold solder gun/system], and so on), and the daughter is interested in all things animal and wildlife...the boys' main interest in wildlife seems to be "How do we track it? How do we kill it? Does it taste good enough to be woth the trouble if we do the first two?", and camping/forresting survival lore, but the princess wants to know how to do EVERYTHING camping, from basest roughing it to how to choose best equipment for given circumstances, and how to evaluate circumstances, and how to research EVERYTHING about local wildlife...then she spends evgery outing (be it camping, hiking, rock climbing, kayaking, or a walk through the prepared trails in the state parks) doing a passable job of tracking and identifying tracks and spoor, and "hunting" with a cheapie digital camera.

These aren't unusually bright kids (well...the youngest is...they're already eying him for the A.P. program out here)...the eldest is having issues with reading to level and following written directions, but due to the fostering they get at home, they each have picked up on these areas of interest, and gottten quite "advanced" for their ages, two are into music, all three are into tae kwon do, one's doing scouting, and I've coached all three up to some basic pre-algebraic math skills (because I don't understand how to do the maths on their homework the way the teachers want it done, currently, so I slowly and painstakingly show them alternate routes to arrive at the answers they need and then run checks...this way, they end up covering all information the teachers want to see).

The more I deal with my smalls (and watch them, compared to their classmates, something I get to do plenty of, and often spend half a day here and there being a "parent helper" in a classroom), the more I realize that, at this age, we REALLY tend to underestimate kids, and what they are capable of learning and applying, on a regular basis...what they DO learn and apply on a regular basis, if supervised properly (mine are only allowed 30 minutes of "cartoon network" a day, all other TV in the house is TLC, THC, Disc, and PBS, unless I'm watching Simpson's re-runs or Law and Order shows (which means I've run out of books I want to re-read at the moment, and haven't yet raided the used book stores again).


I think, Nithos, if we were ever to run into eachother at a con or ren style event, or the like, you'd find yourself suprised at how easy it can be to get along with kids who've spent most of their life being treated as if they are "little adults" who simply owe some "extra respect" to their elders due strictly to the presumption that experience==greater access to information. Such an experience might just turn you into a "family man", after all <grin> (And I'm not saying I skimp on their discipline...that's part of the whole "respect" thing I drive into them, sometimes...even often...as harshly as a Marine D.I., they've been repeatedly told "being treated as an equal means you're expected to behave as such, including showing the proper behavior and responsibility...there are times to "be kids", and times to act like the adults around you...watch, and learn when to do which"...years of this platitude have begun to work well).
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Postby Error of Logic on Mon Apr 03, 2006 1:10 pm

That is one heck of a summary of your life's story, Uggh. I salute you and your family.
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Postby Kingofthemorlocks on Mon Apr 03, 2006 1:25 pm

Uggh -- You're the kind of dad I hope to be some day.
Last edited by Kingofthemorlocks on Mon Apr 03, 2006 4:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Queenhank on Mon Apr 03, 2006 1:32 pm

swordsman3003 wrote:Yeah that clit thing is amazing.


I'll bet your clit-thing is amazing, too, Swordsman... :P
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Postby Goddessmisca on Mon Apr 03, 2006 1:44 pm

Honor wrote:
Goddessmisca wrote:
Honor wrote: I have a few others,


Like of your boobies....mmmm honor boobies.


I have this one "double penetration" picture... My "This one time, at band camp..." kinda pic. :twisted:

Mmmmmm honor porn.

And Nithos, yousea kinda cute *nods* But I have recently been weakend to men in uniform....damnable sailors.
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Postby UgghTheCaveman on Mon Apr 03, 2006 2:22 pm

Sailors...pfeh! takes 250+ of them and 160K tons of steel, minimum, to do what 4 guys and 160 tonnes (dry) of armor can do in the hands of an Army tanker, or two Marine infantrymen, a pair of Bunker Busters, two bayonets, a satchel charge, and a pair of M-16's with full compliment of ammo can handle.

Of course, you start with 250+ Navy boys and 160K tonnes of steel, and FINISH with the same, you START with 540 tonnes of Armor and 16 Army tankers, and end with 160 tonnes and 4 guys, and you START with a full platooon of Marine infantry, and end with just the two, in each equasion (and if you end up down to one Marine, forget it...unless there are two or more, they won't talk eachother into believing that two Marines can take on whatever the challenge is all by themselves unless it's helping a little old lady cross the street, or beating down a drunken sailor...but as long as there's two or more of them left, they'll convince themselves that they can manage to handle a dug in enemy armored Corps (three divisions, minimum) in guarded perimeter, all by their lonesome).


Then you got the Army infantry (which I was one of)..."What hill? THAT hill?! It's infested with enemies who are dug in...send some Marines, we'll come by sometime tomorrow, from the flank, and babysit it for them, while they go do something else all high-adrenaline, like they enjoy so much...maybe seeing who can charge headfirst into the sandstone wall "charging the beach" the most times before suffering concussion."
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Postby UgghTheCaveman on Mon Apr 03, 2006 2:26 pm

kingofthemorlocks wrote:Uggh -- You're the kind of dad I hope to be some day.



Danke...I'm trying...kind of learning on the fly, while I'm at it...avoiding the mistakes my dad and my wife's vaarious father figures made as best I can, and kinda tip-toeing around the minefield of potential mistakes parents can make, trying to avoid as many of them as I can, while doing my best to stress the whole "responsibility (as in taking responsibility for your own actions or lack thereof), discipline, and ability to garner and retain knowledge at will from available sources will allow you to do ANYTHING" ideals I still firmly believe, and (mostly) try to live up to.
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Postby Aeridus on Mon Apr 03, 2006 2:52 pm

Uggh... how old are your kids? :o I was barely tapping away at the keyboard when I was 6, I didn't start programming until I was 10. :P
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Postby UgghTheCaveman on Mon Apr 03, 2006 3:24 pm

the one who's already doing formatting languages and starting scripts and console progging is 8, the woodland and animal expert is 9, and the hardware junkie is 10 (nearing 11).

But remember, the 8 year old (just had a birthday, no less) is already fluent in Spanish, speaks some Russian, and reads at a WA State rated end-of-4th grade level...he learned Spanish VERY young (we lived in AZ when he was learning to speak, and I still hung out with quite a few of the guys I'd formerly worked pipefitting/plumbing with, since I was still relatiuvely new to the car game at the time, and our apartment complex was mostly Hispanic blue collar, so his friends from 18 months to 3 years old were mostly working class Latinos), and he's been learning Russian because his current best friend's father is a fisherman out of the local port who married a local girl, and they settled here, rather than in one of the bigger Alaskan ports)...his language skill is something I can't take ANY credit for, except in encouraging, aside from the computer-specific languages, and apparantly he's got a native facility at "thinking with different semantic maps" that linguists say is so damned important (I wish *I* had it...after years of hacking and coding, I STILL have to resort to reference books more often than I feel is usual for someone at my level of official education in the area).

Myself, I'm just gifted with a "trivia mind"....one of those great memories that will note odd facts and associate other symbols/signals to them, making them stick in long term memory....makes me able to discuss anything I've maintained enough interest to study at all seriously a bit deeper than a "layman level", but expert in nothing other than my computer/electronics, and THERE, I'm not tops, compared to the whiz kids in any part of the field, but I'm competent enough...the only place I excell is in having a seemingly unending font of useless trivia and ancedotes (personal or "a guy I knew" kind) at my disposal.
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Postby Aeridus on Mon Apr 03, 2006 3:30 pm

Well, as long as you make a decent living. ;)

I have an odd brain... I feel like I'm manually programming it every time I make a major change or learn something important... takes me ages to learn new motor skills at times but when I do I get it perfect. It's basically like I'm driving a manual car while everyone else is driving an automatic... it's a lot more powerful but it's much trickier to handle.
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Postby Nithos on Mon Apr 03, 2006 4:44 pm

Don't bother feeling bad about having no talent for new languges, that's a hardwired human trait- we learn languages easily when we're young, but not as adults.
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Postby Wilmo on Mon Apr 03, 2006 4:46 pm

freaking amazing, when I was 11, I spend my days staring into space and watching reruns of Eek the cat!
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Postby Kingofthemorlocks on Mon Apr 03, 2006 4:51 pm

Well, Awkward, now you can say you've seen almost all the regulars. Here's me and Christine, circa Prom 2005.

Image


Click for larger view.

The pictures almost a year old, but I look almost exactly the same, while Christine's hair is a bit darker now, and - oh yeah - she's gone up a cup-size since this was taken. Wewt for Bewbies!
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Postby Kingofthemorlocks on Mon Apr 03, 2006 4:54 pm

Wilmo wrote:freaking amazing, when I was 11, I spend my days staring into space and watching reruns of Eek the cat!


Eek the Cat was amazing. Especially the Terrible Thunder Lizards. Heh, dinosaur commandos.
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