Beating your Meat - Explained

Squidflakes · Post by **Squidflakes** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 12:37 pm

Since it was requested, I figured I'd be the one to start the thread.

So, what sorts of techniques get you off?

Personally I've got two. The first one is the classic hand, but I go with the lubeless option, pulling my foreskin up over the head while apply pressure with the ring made by my thumb and forefinger. I find that a really light touch works the best, plus I'm a bit afraid of the death grip.

The death grip is when you put a LOT of pressure on the cock when you get off. The problem with this, is that you start to get less sensitive, and need the death grip to get off.

So, dicuss!

MaryxTyphus · Post by **MaryxTyphus** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 12:43 pm

Really? I always thought you beat your meat with a Meat Tenderizer

Wow okay Now I know better.

On another note I can't believe I'm even replying to this thread when I can't stop blushing about it

Squidflakes · Post by **Squidflakes** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 12:48 pm

MaryxTyphus wrote:Really? I always thought you beat your meat with a Meat Tenderizer Wow okay Now I know better.

On another note I can't believe I'm even replying to this thread when I can't stop blushing about it

Mruahaha.. so does that mean you're going to share? C'mon! you know you wanna! The boards are pretty anonymous after all..

MaryxTyphus · Post by **MaryxTyphus** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 12:58 pm

squidflakes wrote:
Mruahaha.. so does that mean you're going to share? C'mon! you know you wanna! The boards are pretty anonymous after all..

But how can I? Technically being a woman I have nothing of the sort to beat. Unless I was like Freddy in which case I would.

Squidflakes · Post by **Squidflakes** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 1:10 pm

MaryxTyphus wrote:
squidflakes wrote:
Mruahaha.. so does that mean you're going to share? C'mon! you know you wanna! The boards are pretty anonymous after all..
But how can I? Technically being a woman I have nothing of the sort to beat. Unless I was like Freddy in which case I would.

Or beating your fish, toggling your bit, ect. This thread is about fapping AND schliking techniques.

Unholy · Post by **Unholy** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 1:17 pm

Ive never heard of this "death grip" before, how many methods of wrestling the one eyed trouser snake are there?

Squidflakes · Post by **Squidflakes** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 1:19 pm

Unholy wrote:Ive never heard of this "death grip" before, how many methods of wrestling the one eyed trouser snake are there?

Hundreds.. thousands.. who knows, with billions of men and women stroking tens of billions of cocks, I'm sure that some variations have developed.

MaryxTyphus · Post by **MaryxTyphus** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 1:24 pm

Huh, maybe later. When I'm less embarassed

Indigo Violent · Post by **Indigo Violent** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 1:33 pm

"Polishing the pearl" has always been my favourite euphemism.
Two personal favourite methods:
1. The traditional method - spread the labia with the left, stroke the clitoris with the right. Sometimes I use a little lube (Probe, usually - I hate the smell of Astroglide) depending on how turned-on I am beforehand (no pun intended). Record time - two minutes to orgasm. Average, about eight minutes.
2. I have one of those shower heads on the extendo-hoses and two settings - one for the regular spray, one for shower massage. With the latter, I set the water to about half-power (full is much too strong); when I want greater intensity I cover one of the holes the water comes out of to make the jet stronger.

I hope I've satisfied your desire for detail, Squiddy.

MaryxTyphus · Post by **MaryxTyphus** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 2:11 pm

Whoa! Holy. Wow. Just Wow. o_o

I usually use my Mom's vibrator, that I cleaned out and stole. That's my dirty little secret. Usually I spread it open and pour a little water on the clit, turn on the vibrator and rub it with it until I open a bit more, then slowly slide the vibrator in, turning it up a couple notches. I then lie on my back with my stomach up in the air and begin rubbing the clit with two of my fingers. The average time is usually 15 minutes but sometimes it can take up to a half hour.

I'm so ashamed now

Awkwardschoolgirl · Post by **Awkwardschoolgirl** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 2:12 pm

Well, I usually go for the spread labia with the ring and pointer fingers, stroke clit with my middle finger, using my left hand. Then comes inserting my ring and middle fingers and curling them to get my g-spot.

I've also found pointing the hair dryer on your general crotch area warms the clit and stimulates all the warm fuzzy feelings of masturbation. But be careful! It burns if you keep the heat on it for too long! I know from experience. Ouch.

Squidflakes · Post by **Squidflakes** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 4:58 pm

MaryxTyphus wrote: I'm so ashamed now

There is no reason to be ashamed of this AT ALL!

Masturbation is perfectly natural, its almost a universal thing.

Azurecharade · Post by **Azurecharade** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 5:08 pm

Well i dunno about the death grip but i'm circumcized so i ain't got the fabled foreskin. I usually just grip it firmly and pump. Sometimes if i'm really horny or really stoned I don't even have to grip but thats pretty rare.

What i'm amused at is how many females are responding to the "Beat the Meat" topic.

MaryxTyphus · Post by **MaryxTyphus** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 5:15 pm

.....

Someone shoot me ._.

Illithid Tentacles · Post by **Illithid Tentacles** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 5:17 pm

I'm circumsized, but I don't need lube to masturbate, since for some reason I have enough extra skin. I've done without it for so long, it usually takes me longer to get off when I do use lube.

Regardless, I usully grip gently but firmly towards the base with my thumb and first two fingers, and pull some of the skin up and stroke like that. Not a real complicated process.

Oh, and a friend of mine introduced the work "squick" to me to refer to female masturbation.

Squidflakes · Post by **Squidflakes** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 5:30 pm

Illithid Tentacles wrote: Oh, and a friend of mine introduced the work "squick" to me to refer to female masturbation.

Squick is a great all around sound, but in common (well.. internet common) its used like "I'm grossed out." ie. "Someone crapping on my chest really squicks me out"

Its also the sound that a good skull fucking makes "Wow, that jesus sure is a great squick now that he's dead"

RavenxDrake · Post by **RavenxDrake** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 6:08 pm

Well, and I can't belive I'm reviewing technique here.... I don't actually think about it most of the time.

Depending on how I'm feeling it boils down to one of three...

Lubelessly, I usually grip it near the top, putting the thumb up under the head and rub, keeping the thumb there.

Alternately, there's the reverse grip... put the palm on top and grip with the forefingers and thumb at the base. This is ususally a Lube-assisted DeathGripManuver(TM).

Alternatley, and I'm not ashamed to admit it, I use mechanical assistance. Yes, I have a toy. Yes it's battery opperated, actually(it's got a "Magic Bullet" style vibrator button that you can mount in it, it winds up resting underneath the head for most of it).

And, If I may take a moment, I think it's highly unfair that Toys for Boys are so drastically overpriced compared to toys for girls... I can see some of it(more complex design, need for more expensive latex versus simple plastic(of a vibrator, versus a dildo), but stilll...

Toawa · Post by **Toawa** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 6:22 pm

Hmm.. I suppose if nothing else, this thread can be used to conclusively establish the genders of the posters.

I use my off hand; that's all I'll say.

CottonStar · Post by **CottonStar** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 6:27 pm

All I can is that it involves repetitive motions and some kind of mental stimulation. Beyond that, it's something akin to some form of evil satanic ritual not meant to be known by humanity. I hear that it was written about in the Necronomicon, though.

Awkwardschoolgirl · Post by **Awkwardschoolgirl** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 6:31 pm

Illithid Tentacles wrote: Oh, and a friend of mine introduced the work "squick" to me to refer to female masturbation.

I've started using the word "Schlick" for the sound effect of jilling off since it was introduced by Kwerki, in the zombie masturbation/moaning comic a while ago... It seems to work out nicely...