A Series of Saucy Limericks

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Postby Cow_2001 on Sat Apr 10, 2004 4:18 am

Mad Irishman wrote:And scratches, and scratches, and scratches.


Eeeyuuu.... :-\
"The future is now, but not evenly distributed.." - William Gibson
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Postby Nithos on Tue Apr 13, 2004 1:25 pm

I'm out of practice, but here's a few tribute's to the comic.

Of men a woman was quite cynical
Not one could bring her to pinnacle
But watching a tape
Of anime rape
She came and she came to a tentacle


Around and around they went
Arguing in their ninja-tent
It's just a sai
Hidden up your thigh
"No weapons in the secret compartment!"


A man once stopped to take stock
And realized with delighted shock
I can beat on a train
Or in your chow mein
I love my invisable cock!
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Postby Mad Irishman on Thu Apr 15, 2004 5:40 am

"Ha Ha Ha! - Boom! Boom!" - Basil Brush

That was pretty good. Fortunately I know my limericks are crap so I'll stick to stolen ones.
____________________

There was a young girl from Hong Kong
Who's cervical cap was a gong.
She said with a yell,
As a shot rang the bell -
"I'll give you a Ding for a Dong!"
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Postby Mad Irishman on Sat Apr 24, 2004 1:10 am

There was a young virgin of Bude
Whose tricks, though exciting , were viewed
With distrust be the males
For she'd fondle their rails,
But never would let them intrude!!!
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Postby CJBurgandy on Sat Apr 24, 2004 5:20 pm

there is a young lady whom I like
whose bulgy pants don't look right
because she is lacking
she must be packing
at lest I hope she's a dyke....
CLICK HERE FOR HOT SEXY NUDES

"When Papa Smurf drank here, he was standoffish, Turk said. He favored vodka and didn't share his liquor." ~ Anchorage Daily News
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Postby Shinjiro on Sun Apr 25, 2004 12:07 am

There was a young plumber from Lea
Who was plumbing his girl by the sea
Said the girl "cease your plumbing,
I think someone's coming"
Said the Plumber, still plumbing "It's me."
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Postby RantinAn on Mon Apr 26, 2004 4:49 pm

cjburgandy wrote:there is a young lady whom I like
whose bulgy pants don't look right
because she is lacking
she must be packing
at lest I hope she's a dyke....

Inspirational so therefore

I know that you might think i am sick,
but i do love the grils who have dick
their titties are perky
their packages quirky
my bum hole you know they can stick
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Postby CJBurgandy on Mon Apr 26, 2004 6:12 pm

ok, you inspired me for a new one


She's always been kind of a runt
and to her partner she had to be blunt
"that strap-on's too large,
it feels like a barge
that's ripped open my poor tiny cunt"

:roll: or is that too over the edge?
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"When Papa Smurf drank here, he was standoffish, Turk said. He favored vodka and didn't share his liquor." ~ Anchorage Daily News
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Postby Mad Irishman on Mon Apr 26, 2004 9:08 pm

YIPEE, YIPEE, I'm not the only weirdo who likes these things!


There was a young lady of Spain
Who took her pants down on the train.
There was a young Porter,
Saw more than he ought-ta
And asked her to do it again!!!
_______________________

A crooner who lived in Lahore
Got his testicals caught in a door!
Now his Mezzo soprano
is rather piano
Though he was a loud basso before....

(Ok. That one wasn't so good!)
_______________________

There was a young man from havana
Who laid a girl on a player-piana.
At the height of their fever,
her ass hit the lever.....

Yes! He has no banana!
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Postby Mad Irishman on Sat May 01, 2004 12:41 am

There once was a pixie named Cyril
Who was had in the woods by a squirrel,
And she liked it so good
That she stayed in the wood,
just as long as the squirrel was virele.
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Postby ROFLMAO on Tue May 04, 2004 6:56 pm

I am sad to say I have no creative ability beyond paintings and such, or I would make one. But I must say thanks for makin this thread, been LMAO ever sense you made is Irishman. oh and hope you don't mind I have twisted the words on more than one of them to make insults for my brothers :lol: . You wouldn't believe how good it works when one of my bros won't shut up and I just blert out a twisted version of the one about the man with only one ball, using the name of the bro thats bothering me atm :lol: LOL.
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Postby Mad Irishman on Tue May 04, 2004 7:06 pm

Thanks for the complement, and as the doors in 'Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy' say:
Glad to be of service" < Insert sullen but self satisfied voice here>

And as for another lymeric; heres one for the nred!

Now if P over U be inverted
And the square root of U be inserted,
X times over P;
The result QED.
Is a relative Einstein asserted!
____________

<All the geeks take off their glasses and wipe away the fog>
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Postby Mad Irishman on Sat May 08, 2004 12:23 am

It's that time again!!!

There was a young girl who begat
Three brats, by name Nat, Pat and Tat.
It was fun in the breeding,
But hell in the Feeding,
When she found there was no tit for Tat.

Also...
There was a young lady named Prentice
Who had an affair with a dentist.
To make the thing easier,
He would use Anesthesia,
And diddled her non-compos mentis.
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Postby Mad Irishman on Sat May 15, 2004 11:02 pm

Ok. I'm getting a bit slack with my posts, so heres another two..

One for neds__________

Said Einstein, "I have an equation
Which science my call Rabelaisian.
Let P be verginity
Aproaching intinify,
And U be a constant persuasion...
_____________

There was a young lady of Maine
Who declared she had men on the brain.
But you knew from the view
Of the way her waist grew,
It was not on her brain that he'd lain.
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Postby CJBurgandy on Sun May 16, 2004 10:51 am

Inspired by recent thread

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The evil witch had caught a rookie
And with her daughter he had nookie
as his entered her snatch
he felt something latch
and found she had teeth in her cookie

XD
CLICK HERE FOR HOT SEXY NUDES

"When Papa Smurf drank here, he was standoffish, Turk said. He favored vodka and didn't share his liquor." ~ Anchorage Daily News
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Postby Mad Irishman on Wed May 19, 2004 4:25 am

A lady while dining at Kew
Found an elephant whang in her stew.
Said the waiter "Don't shout,
or wave it about!,
Or the others will all want one too!"
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Postby Wraithguard starcaller on Wed May 19, 2004 8:08 pm

oh how i lov eit
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Postby Brain on Thu May 20, 2004 3:29 am

There was an old lady from Gratch,
who masturbated with a match.
One day she got excited,
and the match ignited,
and burnt all the hairs off her snatch.
Are You Pondering What I Am Pondering?
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Postby Pidgeot on Thu May 20, 2004 7:24 am

Urge to contribute to thread... rising...

Unfortunately, all the good limericks I've read were Danish and not easily translatable, and I have little creativity in that field, so I'm going to post a link to a Letter to the Managment (signed "The Penis").

Trust me, it's funny. :D
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Postby Honor on Thu May 20, 2004 8:52 am

There were three young ladies of Birmingham,
And this is the story concerning'em.
The lifted the frock
and then fondled the cock
of the bishop engaged in confirming'em.

Now this bishop was nobody's fool...
He'd come from a good public school.
So he took down their britches
and buggered those bitches
with his ten inch Episcopal tool.

Then up spoke a women from Qew...
Sitting back in the seventeenth pew.
said "The Vicar was quicker,
and thicker and slicker,
and longer and stronger than you!"
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