It's going to be a busy three weeks.

Seth Marati · Post by **Seth Marati** » Sat Jan 05, 2008 11:03 pm

I got some news today that's going to put a hectic spin on things for the immediate future. See, my sister, "S", has been engaged to her fiancee, "R", for about a year now, and their original plan was to hold off on actually getting married until they had finished school. However, R recently finished at the community college they had been attending and moved up to a private school, and he isn't at all happy with it. So he's looking to transfer, and she's going with him - to my surprise - to the college I am currently attending (they want an in-state public school, and it's their best choice). If they get in (I strongly presume they will), they'll be entering in the fall as juniors, one year below me.

So, that's crazy enough, but as a result of this new development, they've reconsidered their residential and financial factors; they've been living together for some time now, and they want to continue doing that, so they're looking at an on-campus apartment complex, specifically the part allotted to accommodate married couples, since it's the only way they can sign up to live together on campus. Also, in order to register as a married couple, for the sake of financial aid, they would have to actually do so by February 1st. So their wedding, which until now had existed as a real but indefinitely timed eventuality, has been dated for the 26th of this month. They're getting married in three weeks.

There's a ton of stuff to plan, naturally, and in so short a time, to boot. Fortunately, they've got all sorts of connections, so lots of things can come cheap or even free to them, from catering, to photography, to flowers. (They're also trying to do things as cheaply as feasible anyway.) S already has a dress, as she'd called my mom today to meet up with her and tell her what was happening, and they went out to find a dress afterwards. I don't have much capacity to appreciate this sort of thing, but I'm told it looks beautiful, and that it required no alterations whatsoever. I was also told that when S told my mom she was getting married so soon, my mom's first though was that there was a baby involved. My other sister thought the same thing. I didn't, though. I've been sleeping for half the day, so my brain's pretty out of it as far as making obvious presumptions is considered. But no, it's much more mundane than that.

My exact role in this is so far undetermined. R wants me to be the best man, but he might face some pressure from his mom (and other relatives?) to have his brother fill that role, which he doesn't really agree with. So we'll have to see what happens with that.

And I'm not concerned at all about the idea that they might be "rushing" to get married. From what I can tell, and from what a lot of other people think, they're very good for each other, and good to each other. And the marriage was slated to happen anyway; this bumping up of the date seems pretty adventuresome, in my opinion. Personally, my biggest concern is that the wedding is, by necessity, taking place a day or two after I move back into my dorm at college for the spring semester, and I have to tie this in with registering for a couple more classes, as well, and timing is critical since I've got my sights on two classes that have one vacancy each. So I'm looking at an extremely busy crunch period right before things all come together. It's going to be interesting.

MistressMaggie · Post by **MistressMaggie** » Sun Jan 06, 2008 6:12 am

Wow, that's going to be crazy!

My cousin got engaged in August and tried to plan a wedding for October, but that fell through because they wanted a catholic church ceremony and they couldn't find a priest that would marry them without them going to the church for a certain length of time and doing marriage classes, which weren't scheduled for that fall. They're getting married sometime this spring now.

I hope things work out with the best man thing, my sister's fiancé's mother wants her to invite his twin sister to be a bridesmaid, but she put her foot down and said she didn't want a big wedding party. I think the mother is now working on her son to have his sister replace one of his cousin as a groomsman (which would make the wedding party quite funny, since the best man is a woman as well)

Orwell · Post by **Orwell** » Sun Jan 06, 2008 6:17 pm

What is it with all the wedding threads popping up everywhere I go lately. As far as I'm concerned marriage should be setting an existing coupling into legal paperwork, not this extravagent ceremony.

Which may explain why I've never been on a date.

RevChris77 · Post by **RevChris77** » Sun Jan 06, 2008 6:52 pm

We got married via a quick legal ceremony so that my wife was on my insurance, then we planned the extravaganza for months later.

The legal ceremony took about an hour and involved only about 12 people.

The reception required a city park (for space), 120+ people, mostly in renaissance garb, and plot elements borrowed from both Princess Bride and Shrek.

Indigo Violent · Post by **Indigo Violent** » Sun Jan 06, 2008 11:03 pm

orwell wrote:What is it with all the wedding threads popping up everywhere I go lately. As far as I'm concerned marriage should be setting an existing coupling into legal paperwork, not this extravagent ceremony.

I actually agree. I tend to think that a couple can be married without ever having a wedding, and that just because two people have been formally wed doesn't mean they have a marriage. (Witness the number of whirlwind celebrity weddings that terminate six months later in messy public divorces.) The wedding ought, in an ideal world, to symbolise what already exists, but it can't create anything that's not there.

Boring 7 · Post by **Boring 7** » Tue Jan 08, 2008 11:27 am

There's a ton of stuff to plan, naturally, and in so short a time, to boot.

One trip to courthouse, a few letters of apology to the family members who freak out about that sort of thing, and they're done.

It is not that hard. Further, there's no law against them holding a "proper ceremony" later if they are into that sort of pomp and circumstance. If a 20-year marriage can "renew their vows" then a 1 year old marriage can too.

Xero · Post by **Xero** » Tue Jan 08, 2008 12:46 pm

boring 7 wrote:
There's a ton of stuff to plan, naturally, and in so short a time, to boot.
One trip to courthouse, a few letters of apology to the family members who freak out about that sort of thing, and they're done.

It is not that hard. Further, there's no law against them holding a "proper ceremony" later if they are into that sort of pomp and circumstance. If a 20-year marriage can "renew their vows" then a 1 year old marriage can too.

+1
I don't like this religious crap surrounding marriage

Seth Marati · Post by **Seth Marati** » Wed Jan 09, 2008 1:48 am

boring 7 wrote:One trip to courthouse, a few letters of apology to the family members who freak out about that sort of thing, and they're done.

I don't know why they aren't going about it that way, especially given the nature of the situation and the resulting time crunch for everyone involved. Going by what I know, my best guess is that they were headed for something at least relatively understated, until the groom's mother got involved and they were affected by the momentum.

Hmm. I hope my sister doesn't burn out from this.

Xero wrote:I don't like this religious crap surrounding marriage

Nor do I. There's a lot of stuff about marriage I don't like, actually, and I complain about it quite a bit, but in their case, I'm making an exception. It confounds me, though, that they're having the ceremony in a church even though they're both atheists, though they are cutting out as many references to religion as possible, including the eucharist, which has the dual effect of keeping things secular and comparatively simple.

I will say that there is certainly an existing coupling in this instance. Their entire motivation for getting married at this particular time is actually for legal reasons. But I'm not sure why they haven't decided to separate the legal and ceremonial proceedings.

As for my own role in this, it looks as if the groom's brother will be the best man, but seeing as he's non compos mentis, I'll be the one acting as a witness and signing whatever it is I have to sign, in lieu of him. So I get to be a sort of secret best man. Since I have to keep quiet about this, and since I'm wearing a tux for this, I totally feel like a secret agent.

RevChris77 wrote:plot elements

what

Putaro · Post by **Putaro** » Wed Jan 09, 2008 4:22 am

We got married on a boat (chartered) and had the captain perform the ceremony. I think weddings are a great excuse to have a party and get all of your friends together. It doesn't happen that often after you get out of college. There's also something about having stood up in front of all your friends and family and said your vows that makes you take your marriage a little more seriously, I think.

Fnyunj · Post by **Fnyunj** » Wed Jan 09, 2008 8:56 pm

Vegas, baby. Vegas.