a brutal crossroad, psudeo emo empiphany/mid life crisis

[MistressMaggie]

I thought the thread topic said "crosswords" at first ...

Me too, I was thinking "wow, that must be one tough crossword! if it's causing a midlife crisis!"

[Churba]

Me too, I was thinking "wow, that must be one tough crossword! if it's causing a midlife crisis!"

You think its bad now, try the Cryptic Crossword.

[Plek]

When I was faced with a similar perception of my life I did what I thought was the best course of action. Boozin'. Lots of it. Of course it was a terrible idea for the most part and I highly discourage it. Other things might help however. Start taking some classes. Focus on the arts, like sociology or english, or on the sciences if you like math. Get a girl(or guy) if you can. They are a pain in the ass but it can be pretty rewarding when you're down low. If you aren't a terribly social person, try faking it. Go for new, different people. Dabble in a multitude of hobbies. Try music, drawing, painting, or hell, learn to sail. You're probably too young to really know much of what you want out of life so just try out as many things as you can. Eventually you're bound to stumle across something that makes you feel a bit more whole.

[Spiral Zer0]

yeah I'm acctually starting to belive I'm headed down that path so no drinking for me for a while.

dispite depression I think I really just needed a way to let things out.

I have to say *even though i feel as if I don't deserve it* thanks for the concern of the general public.

there are some people who find me special and I don't know why *not trying to be egotistical*, I've decided that I should better myself for myself and for the people I care about as well.

as simple as a statement as it is it's a reason at least.

taking things one small piece at a time as they say.

[WangyJohn]

Hope you'll do fine. Life's a prostitute at times.

[Aeridus]

Maybe if you try a good sweaty workout about 30 minutes a day... healthiest way to work out negative energy and improve your mood.

I'm currently on a six week regimen to lose weight and tone my muscles a bit, I wonder how effective it will be.

[Ce6]

In my opinion, 22 is a good age to do something completely out of character... do something you've always wanted to do. For me, it's spending a year in France (although technically I'll be 23 for most of my year abroad) . I saw a poster for the exchange program one day and I just said to myself, I'm tired of feeling like life is passing me by. Everyone else my age is getting married, having kids, finishing up their degrees, or doing something wild like going overseas on a humanitarian mission. I've had enough of watching from the sidelines!

Sounds like good advice to me. I went through an interesting experience last summer adn fall myself. Got the layoff notice from work in the middle of last summer, and even though I'm working for the same company again now, I'm on the far end of the country in a different division and have been having a blast. (I'm also 29, so a bit older)
But having been financially self-sufficient since college for a period of 6 years, the prospect of "you have X weeks until you need a new source of income or you have to move back into your parent's basement" is a bit of an eye opener. My choice was either "get a new position at the same company, probably across town, and continue on with life as normal" or "do something different."
I aimed for "different," not quite sure how different it would be or what I might be qualified for (without having to resort to working foodservice again - no offense to anyone who does, but I'm not comfortable living off of tips or wearing hairnets). What resulted was a look at the broader tech market in my fields of experience, and ultimately landed me "a new position at the same company, across the country, with a job that's not very different than before, but near new areas to explore"

One of the problems I've had to face the past few years is fighting the urge to settle down before I have to. While I long for the little house in the quiet suburb with a 2-car garage, family, kids and pet cat and doing normal suburbanite life, I keep forgetting to find someone to do that with. The risk of being too self-sufficient, I do what I want when I want, and I never meet people.
So for the last several years I'd been taking random classes at the local community college that looked interesting and were the type of things I never had time for (or weren't taught) when earning my BS degree. I spent some time getting into art, music, wines and my tattoo collection.
Now I've sold off the station wagons and moved out of suburbia, into a new city, urban lifestyle with a 2-seater convertible in the parking garage. Still haven't met someone to settle down with, but figure I have better odds at that now with plenty of local nightlife and beaches open year round.
And yet I've been finding myself looking at mortgages and the housing market lately.
I have to keep reminding myself that I don't want to settle down until I have a reason to, and I haven't met her yet.

[MistressMaggie]

I've got that urge to settle down, get married and have kids too now, and I don't like it. I want to be young and crazy!

..luckily, I haven't met any nice guys lately.

[Fnyunj]

[quote="Spiral Zer0"]...also, thank you fnyunj. your post was probally the most helpful.[/quote]

Aw shucks. All I did was pull the old "you think YOUR life is bad. . ." schtick. Be happy I didn't try - "why, when I was your age. . ."

But yeah - life can be a downer sometimes. And other times, it's the person living the life that's the downer. You can look to others for inspiration. I have plenty of examples, but out of the people you all know:

Honor - inspires me because she's done a lot of different things in her life, art, creative endeavors, etc. and she decided, what the heck, I like trucks, I'll learn how to drive them and become a trucker! Thats seriously grabbing life by the hair at the scruff of the neck, slapping on a pair of handcuffs, and having it in every hole.

Jackalope - inspires me, because, despite her medical problems, she always seems to have a positive attitude, she sings, she draws, she creates.

And Ghastly - too, for the same reason, with things going on in his life that would just fuck me up, he's still playing his music, and when he posts, he's pretty positive. Doesn't seem depressed, anyway. I've net-known Ghastly for a long time, maybe 5, 6 years. How he started his comic, and developed, and worked at it, and his music, was just a story I wanted to watch.

I look at the things I *do* have, things anybody ought to be really very thankful to have - and sure, I've got some challenging issues too, but most of the time, I'm a pretty negative person. I'm pretty down, and tend to look on the dark side of things, and I can always find things to criticize, about myself, and about others. Sometimes I want to change that about me - and then I wonder if I'd still be me if I did.

I guess; find some people who you know, who have some things about them that you like, and, I don't know, watch. You could live vicariously - or try some of the things that made them what they are. Might even succeed.

[Ce6]

I've got that urge to settle down, get married and have kids too now, and I don't like it. I want to be young and crazy!

..luckily, I haven't met any nice guys lately.

Yeah, I somehow keep drifting further and further away from Canada.