Versus: Scurvy and Curvy Staircases

Postby Screwball McGoo [gDC] on Thu Jul 05, 2001 2:53 am

There exists a fair maiden and a vast hoard of gold in the Castle of Fort Castlebury. Fort Castlebury is accessible both by land and by sea (it's a port castle on a peninsula.) Who would get there first and take their objectives, pirates or knights?<P>Also, go vote on Chocobos vs. Yoshis soon.<P>------------------
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Postby SuperJoe on Thu Jul 05, 2001 5:43 am

Well, my first instinct is pirates, just because they're so cool. But knights do have that "Save people" mentality, that pushes them harder.
Of course, I should only take one side, so I can argue about it.
I'll go with pirates.
They're traveling by sea, so they won't have to stop and rest. They could just have a crew member stear the ship while the rest sleep and what-not. That makes them much faster.
I'll put other points as the arguement progresses, of course.<P>------------------
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Postby Russ on Fri Jul 06, 2001 9:08 am

Arrr, definitely the pirates, ye scurvy dog McGoo! What were ye thinking? Them do-gooder knights are a worthless band of landlubbers! Pirates rule the seas and oceans!<P>------------------
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Postby ZOMBIE USER 157 on Sun Jul 08, 2001 5:18 am

definantly pirates. since pirates only true motivation is greed, they would get there first to get the gold, and the maiden who they could later trade for gold. plus, knights always gotta walk around in those metal suits and it would get hard to move after a while.<P>------------------
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Postby Screwball McGoo [gDC] on Sun Jul 08, 2001 5:21 am

Alright, I'll take knights, then. They ride on horseback. They're fast.<P>Motivation: You say they have no greed. These are the people who fought in the Crusades. If you could get them to journey across a continent, surely a small peninsula would be no problem. Plus, the gold would allow them to pay back their liege for the time of absence. <P>Since I'm being brief, I'll also be dirty. Don't pirates have mutiny problems?<P>------------------
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Postby ZOMBIE USER 157 on Sun Jul 08, 2001 5:38 am

yes, mutiny is always a problem, but they usually throw people off the boat during a mutiny. hence, lighter boat. hence, faster voyage. hence, hence is a fun word to use. hence hence hence.<P>horses are also less reliable than a boat. boats never need to stop and eat or relieve themsleves. plus, horses don't have those cool crossbone flags on them.<P>------------------
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Postby Russ on Sun Jul 08, 2001 10:10 am

Plus pirates have clever parrots, and mysterious maps to hidden treasure. They're just cooler than knights, really. This one is surely no contest.<P>------------------
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Postby Screwball McGoo [gDC] on Mon Jul 09, 2001 2:35 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by SuperJoe:
<B>What IS Pat anyway?
</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Pat's a bunny, but, don't let me interrupt.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by SuperJoe without interruption:
<B>I mean... uhh... Pirates can also take hits. Sure they don't have the body armor, but if they met up with a kinght, they wouldn't mind loosing a limb or two.
Plus, they fight really dirty.
And the have guns and cannons.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Pirates not only don't have body armor but they're often felled after losing a limb. I've seen pirates with prosthetic limbs but that doesn't mean they kept on fighting after losing an eye. Knights, on the other hand, are popularly given the same power but with more lasting effect. Look at Monty Python's Black Knight.<P>Sure they have guns, but those are old timey guns. Merely fit to cause bruises. And we all know pirates LOVE to fight with swords.<P>The best way to beat knights is with pikes. That requires patience and discipline. The pirates would run full speed at the knights, but the knights on horseback really have tremendous advantage. This assumes too much, though. It assumes they'll both be at the castle. The knights will get there faster. Sure, horses have to eat (Where are we going to find grass!?) Sure, they have to sleep. But think about how easy it is to navigate horses with a map as opposed to a boat. One storm, one eclipse, the pirates are gone.<P>Finally, cannons? Knights have cannons? And all sorts of siege equipment. I don't know how pirates get into stone walls.<P>russ, pirates are cooler? You must be thinking of that awful retro-cool that makes bad things laughably double un-cool so that we enjoy laughing at them so much we think they're cool. Eye patches? Fake swears? Parrots? I mean, come on. I'd take a horse over a parrot. A deep, booming voice over a crusty one. <P>------------------
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Postby Russ on Mon Jul 09, 2001 9:08 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Screwball McGoo [gDC]:
<B> russ, pirates are cooler? You must be thinking of that awful retro-cool that makes bad things laughably double un-cool so that we enjoy laughing at them so much we think they're cool. Eye patches? Fake swears? Parrots? I mean, come on. I'd take a horse over a parrot. A deep, booming voice over a crusty one.
</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Oh yeah? Well, I bet you're the type who always plays a goody-two-shoes Paladin in D&D. All high and mighty with your fine horse and shining armor and booming manly voice, but just wait till some cool (yes, cool I say) pirate with a crazy gleam in his eye (the one without a patch) sneaks up behind you and shanghais you and you wake up a month later adrift on a tiny raft with scurvy and brain fever from the incessant sun beating down upon you and sharks bumping up against your raft! Then let's see how useful your shiny armor and pretty words are, Mr. Knight.<P>------------------
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Postby SuperJoe on Mon Jul 09, 2001 11:10 am

What IS Pat anyway?
I mean... uhh... Pirates can also take hits. Sure they don't have the body armor, but if they met up with a kinght, they wouldn't mind loosing a limb or two.
Plus, they fight really dirty.
And the have guns and cannons.
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Postby SuperJoe on Tue Jul 10, 2001 12:34 am

Alright. If we're going with the good knight.
Which we should, because bad knights don't count.
Then we must say, good knights don't fight all dirty like. Pirates on the other hand do fight dirty. People who fight dirty win.
Well... not always, but I felt like saying that.
Now... let's see... Pirates aren't quite as... uhh... I'll think of something later.
Right now I have some work to do.<P>------------------
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Postby Screwball McGoo [gDC] on Tue Jul 10, 2001 2:26 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by russ:
<B>with scurvy </B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Let's talk about the scurvy. Shall we? Scurvy is a Vitamin C deficiency. Naturally the way to prevent scurvy is to take Vitamin C. Thus, we have "limeys" who take lime powder.<P>Now we have people with dated fashion, poor hygiene, daily lime powder, and eyepatches. Doesn't this sound like the little boy with lazy eye everyone secretly hates? Pirates are pitiful.<P>Knights, on the other hand, tended to be more or less in the upper strata of their society.<P>------------------
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Postby SuperJoe on Thu Jul 12, 2001 5:43 am

Pirates are sneaky and bad, whereas knights are straight foreward and good.
Pirates would sneak in, steal stuff, and get out, if they knew that there were too many gaurds and such, who could kill them.
Knights on the other hand would blaze forward, sounding the trumpants, even if there was a couple of giant dragons near the tower to stop them.
Because knights may think they're all smart, but they do really dumb things.
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Postby ZOMBIE USER 157 on Thu Jul 12, 2001 5:54 am

see, in the hypothetical sense, pirates could kidnap some other fair maiden and place atop some other nearby castle. the knights, being the goody goody heroes that they are so often portrayed as, will be preoccupied with the other fair maiden, leaving the original castle ripe for the plunderin'! see, pirates is sneaky like dat.<P>------------------
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Postby Screwball McGoo [gDC] on Fri Jul 13, 2001 3:11 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by SuperJoe:
<B>Pirates are sneaky and bad, whereas knights are straight foreward and good.
</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I don't know if this is sacrificing my trump card (an easy good vs. evil victory) but knights were not all good. Many of the Knights that joined the Crusades were lured by the promise of absolution of sin. <P>The pirates couldn't snatch another princess. They have to be at sea. The knights could, however, create a small hoard of gold on the land as bait and then rush them on horseback, slaughtering the knights.<P>------------------
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Postby SuperJoe on Wed Jul 18, 2001 1:13 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Screwball McGoo [gDC]:
<B> ...slaughtering the knights.<P></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>McGoo... You have defeated even yourself.
Go Pirates! YARRRR!!!!<P><P>------------------
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Postby Screwball McGoo [gDC] on Wed Jul 18, 2001 5:05 am

Of course, I meant that that as a pun where "night" symbolizes... Ah, to heck with it.<P>The knights can take many more casualties. There can only be as many pirates as can fit on a small number of boats. There can only be as many knights as there are people with horses.<P>------------------
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Postby SuperJoe on Wed Jul 18, 2001 6:02 am

...but I don't own a horse.<P>
Plus... Robin Hood could take on knights, and he was kinda' a pirate... on land.. and... not a pirate...
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Postby Screwball McGoo [gDC] on Thu Jul 19, 2001 3:58 am

He wasn't a pirate. He was a folk hero rebel. Pirates don't have bows and arrows. Once the pirates land and are outside of cannon range they have no serious long-distance weapons. It'll be like the Hundred Years' War all over again.<P>------------------
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Postby ZOMBIE USER 157 on Thu Jul 19, 2001 6:43 am

he was sort of a pirate! he had the whole kinda pirate mentality of being an outlaw. he's the "new wave" pirate<P>------------------
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