Critiques...

Postby Throbbin Johnny on Thu Aug 02, 2001 4:51 am

Johnny thought he'd start a thread for any critiques of wimpy's toon. Keep it all in one place, ya'know?<P>The gag w/King Kong/Godzilla is funny! Like the looks of Zilla, and the ape-boobs on KK!! But...it seems over-worded. Couldn't KK simply say "Uhh...you have some human in your teeth." It gets to the point, keeps it simple. IJO, it makes it very blunt and funny. Again, liked this toon alot!!<P>"Throbbin' Johnny
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Postby Yupyop on Thu Aug 02, 2001 5:42 am

I agree the gag is too wordy, but my problem with the gag is the art. The art looks too sketchy. I'd like to see a steadier line. Some shadows at the monsters' feet and a black bg instead of gray would've added depth. Jeff, was your caption a play on the movie title or because you didn't believe the reader would recognize them?
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Postby Pinot on Thu Aug 02, 2001 7:53 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Throbbin Johnny:
<B>Couldn't KK simply say "Uhh...you have some human in your teeth." </B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I agree. I'd get rid of the "how embarassing" too. <P>Good job!<P>
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Postby Yupyop on Fri Aug 03, 2001 3:23 am

I leave Sunday to start your...I mean my two week break. <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspace.com/forums/smile.gif">
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Postby Throbbin Johnny on Fri Aug 03, 2001 4:52 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>I leave Sunday to start your...I mean my two week break.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P><I>Thank GO-</I>...oh, heh-he,Mike...heh..
how ya been? Have a good vaca!<P>wimpy, the caption "King Kong meets Godzilla" was good. In the word balloon, Johnny just thought that "uh...you have some human in your teeth" would work better. Funny, though.<P>"Throbbin' over Tokyo"
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Postby Pinot on Fri Aug 03, 2001 6:23 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by wimpystuntmen:
<B><P>The "how embarassing" part I liked as I was trying for that situation when you're on a first date or meeting someone for the first time and you've got some brocolli or something stuck in your teeth, or a bit of booger coming from your nose.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Yes, I think that's obvious without the word balloon. The trick to great comics is SHOW ME DON'T TELL ME! Make him LOOK embarrassed.<P>The caption works for me.<P>Hope you have a great vacation Yup! <P>
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Postby Yupyop on Fri Aug 03, 2001 7:10 am

Thanks everyone. Johnny and Dawn take care of Jeff while I'm getting fatter on Louisiana cooking (think of me as the Pillsbury Doughboy with a beard <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspace.com/forums/smile.gif">).
Question. Was the caption necessary? Could this had featured two unnamed giant monsters?
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Postby Wimpystuntmen on Fri Aug 03, 2001 11:44 am

Well you all smell.
ha ha, just kidding.
Sorry I haven't been posting lately, I've been looking but nothing to add.<P>Mike, the caption was just to make it crystal clear to the reader who the two monsters were (yeah its probably obvious).<P>The art, the day my hand is steady enough to draw a beautiful clean line is the day we'll have world peace. But I was lazy and used photoshop which I'm trying to get away from. I really just want to do pure black and white art in future. This was a gag I sent to the New Breed btw (and never heard back).<P>The "how embarassing" part I liked as I was trying for that situation when you're on a first date or meeting someone for the first time and you've got some brocolli or something stuck in your teeth, or a bit of booger coming from your nose.<P>But thankyou for your critiques. When I do my first few "Clown Town" strips I'll put them up. I've only toyed with strips so far so I'm sure there's a lot to learn. <P>Isn't Mike supposed to be on holiday??
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Postby Throbbin Johnny on Sat Aug 11, 2001 8:16 am

The joke with Derek is absurdly funny!! One thing Johnny didn't like is Derek's nose. It looks odd, mishapen. Also, instead of seeing the whole left eyeball, maybe we should only see half of it, perpsective wise.<P>Funny, funny panel, IJO...<P>"Throbbin' Johnny
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Postby Wimpystuntmen on Sun Aug 12, 2001 9:43 am

Thanks Johnny,
that's one of my fav's.
I wrote and drew it last year so hopefully I've improved since then. The strip I'm working on now deals with the difficult perspective eye thing.
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Postby Throbbin Johnny on Fri Aug 17, 2001 4:45 am

"Humpty, meet your real mother."<P>BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA...<P>Oh...this ones a killer! VERY funny. The only critique would be to maybe make the art bigger. Less fence, more family reunion.<P>he-he-he-he...<P>"Throbbin' Johnny
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Postby Yupyop on Sun Aug 19, 2001 12:58 am

Funny funny gag. Ugly ugly chicken.
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Postby Throbbin Johnny on Mon Aug 20, 2001 4:58 am

As ugly as the chicken is, Johnny would still
cook her for a high protein meal! Humpty, too...<P>Welcome back, Mike!!<P>"Always Throbbin', always Johnny"
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Postby Wimpystuntmen on Mon Aug 20, 2001 11:56 am

You break the chicken's heart. She thought she was quite attractive - long neck and all.<P>
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Postby Pinot on Wed Aug 22, 2001 7:31 am

Yeah, I like the chicken gag, too.
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Postby Pinot on Wed Aug 22, 2001 7:35 am

Yeah, I like the chicken gag, too.<P>Stupid note took off without me! Guess I hit enter. <P>Got my daughter settled back at school, after many trials. Thought it'd be easier than last year. It wasn't. She's at another campus of the same school. People we dealt with registering definitely have the East Coast meanness. Not a great way to start the school year!
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Postby Wimpystuntmen on Thu Aug 23, 2001 11:37 am

Send her to Australia. Fees are a quarter of the price. Of course, if I remember, she's doing Law which will be of no use to her studying that here (unless of course she wants to practice in Australia)! However, she could still keep up with all the legal happenings in the U.S. as we have a plethora of American legal and doctor drama's showing here. Oh and police drama's too. That seems to be all that's on nowadays. Is it like that over there too? Of course cable has only just been introduced here in the last 5 years or so so I don't know what's on there. Usually re-runs of Gilligans island and shows like that I think. I don't watch that much TV anyway. I'd like to say I was too busy cartooning but that would be a lie.<P>Dawn, have you found a suitable graphics person and has your angel taken on a tangible form?
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Postby Pinot on Sat Aug 25, 2001 8:38 am

Boy, Wimpy, I've been having a real hard time getting on your site this week. It says it's connecting, then opening, but it just sits there. I finally give up!<P>Anyway, I don't watch much tv either, so I really can't say what's popular now. I like Frasier and that's about it. Of course, the "reality" shows are everywhere. I don't know that people are paying much attention to them though.<P>Yes, Shannon wants to go into Law, to become a prosecutor. Better watch out, Johnny! <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspace.com/forums/smile.gif"><P>Then I have a son who wants to be a sniper with the Navy Seals. Jon once said, "You've raised a LAWYER and a SNIPER??!!! WHAT KIND OF MOTHER ARE YOU?!" <lol><P>Still haven't seen any art, but I know a bit more about the artist now. He lives on Cape Cod and is of Scottish heritage. He's a professional illustrator and has done magazine covers as well as numerous other things. He's never submitted a comic strip, because he says he knows he can't write. I like that! I think it will make it easier for us to work together 'cause I know I can't draw, so maybe we won't step on each others' toes and will be more appreciative of each others' contribution.<P>Lee said he's very versatile, extremely good, and that I will be "more than pleased". Lee is in Jamaica for his son's weeding all this next week and then it's a week of sales meetings as UPS launches their new stuff as soon as he gets back, so it may be a couple of weeks before I hear more. The guy is supposed to get some drawings to Lee after next week.<P>The other guy, the one on the west coast, said he's too busy to take on such a project.<P>As to Cloud 8 launching in January, Lee said, "That's the goal." <P>Oh! And it looks like we'll try doing a regular Sunday, too. Why not?<P>
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Postby Throbbin Johnny on Sun Aug 26, 2001 8:08 am

Johnny's been to jail, so J.Diddy's ready...<P>Ok...so it was only for half a day...<I>twice</I>...but still ready!!<P>Picasso's PotatoeHead...like the idea, but would the caption "Young Picasso's Mr. PotatoeHead" work better? <P>The idea is funny, but the potatoe seemed off, and the caption didn't seem to come off right this time, IJO.<P>The sedantary rock was funny in a quirky "oh, man" kinda way.<P>"IJO
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Postby Wimpystuntmen on Sun Aug 26, 2001 9:05 am

Yeah I do like your caption better.
It was also bad timing. I actually wrote and drew that one months ago before Jim Davis stole my thunder. Oh well, I'm running out of drawn material so that one had to go up.<P>I spent last weekend writing up the rules on a new modified sport I'm trying to get started where I live with some mates of mine. We're all getting to that age where we can't do the amazing feats of physical prowess that we used to be able to do (ha ha). It's based on Australian Rules Football but also incorporates a touch or American Football and netball and a couple other bits of sports.
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