A left turn in Albuquerque

Lummox JR · Post by **Lummox JR** » Wed Aug 08, 2001 6:43 am

Since we're awaiting more new comics, I shall now post the saga of my journey, a couple weeks ago, to Santa Fe.This would be my first flight anywhere, and the farthest I had ever traveled (the previous record being Dave and Ann's wedding in Indiana). I was supposed to do a demonstration of a program running on four computers. These computers were bigger-than-expected desktop machines that had to be packed inside two hard suitcases, along with a flat-screen monitor, a network hub, a switch, a few pounds of cable, a power strip, a keyboard, and a mouse. While preparing the suitcases on Friday to house these computers (never ever attempt to cut 3-inch foam in half depthwise; it'll take you all day), two of them fell off a desk. The guy who was helping me out caught one of them, and the other he tried to catch but it landed across the room, knocking off part of the casing. To our amazement this machine still worked, and he pounded the case back into place (since we couldn't figure out how to properly detach it and reattach it). The suitcases weighed easily over 200 pounds put together, I figure, and I also had to check a poster carrier for two posters I'd be bringing to the demo (and attaching to poster board myself).It was a sweltering Sunday evening when I ran into my first check. Although the trip was intended to be from Monday through Wednesday, the travel agent had accidentally booked Sunday through Tuesday and it turned out I had already missed the flight. (This was not, to be fair, entirely the travel agent's fault. I had been confused about the dates from the beginning and thus the Sunday and Tuesday part never registered--I did, however, specify Monday through Wednesday when I booked the trip.) After calling an emergency number, I was assured that all reservations would be moved forward a day; same times and everything. For the rest of the night I was under a prolonged, extended sense of panic I had never experienced before and could not quench for anything.Monday, midmorning. Oppressive, sticky heat. At the airline counter, I discovered I was not booked for the 2:05 flight. The ticket agent soon found my reservation on a 5:15 flight. After calling the travel agency, I found that the guy on the phone had been incorrect, that the original flight was booked for Monday so I had been re-ticketed for a later flight. After hanging up I also learned that my return flight was not bumped forward a day, so this too I had to arrange. Then I checked the big heavy suitcases that contained the computers I was bringing for the demo, and left the airport to return later.Monday evening: I got on the plane. From about half an hour before boarding, the sense of panic from the night before returned with a vengeance and did not go away. My flight (a 727) would be going from Syracuse to Rochester and then on to Atlanta, where I would change planes and head to Albuquerque, to pick up a rental car and drive to Santa Fe. The first flight was of course turbulent, being short and not going very high, and didn't calm my nerves at all. I didn't settle down a bit until the airline (Delta) served a snack; as I sat there eating it, I was amazed by the calming power of food. There we all were, all the passengers staying aboard, munching contentedly like sheep. The flight to Atlanta was rather easier to take.I arrived in Atlanta at sunset and waited over an hour (after a good 20 minutes foot travel with the heavy carry-on with my clothes and one I'd brought with a book and CDs for the plane) in the terminal. The plane, this one a 737, arrived on time but we boarded a little late due to some minor mechanical thing. I didn't ask. This flight showed Spy Kids, which I'd seen around Easter and only thought was so-so. I was tired already, it being a little after 10 PM. Headphones were free because of the plane taking off late, but I had my own; however I plugged them in and only got sound in the left hand side, so I decided to just try to sleep. At this time I realized that our scheduled arrival time of 11:05 was mountain time, which I'd known before but never quite connected in my head meant 1:05 EDT. Driving an hour to Santa Fe that late would be exhausting, so I figured I should sleep while I could. I figure I got in a good hour; I was pretty tired.11:30 PM, MDT: Arrival in Albuquerque. To my everlasting amazement the equipment suitcases actually arrived. Someone helped me load them onto a shuttle bus where I was taken to the rental car lot, which looked about ready to close; it was close to midnight by the time I got there. For reference's sake I'm going to call this 2 AM, since that's the time my internal clock was running on.I left Albuquerque around 2:30 (EDT), after consulting a map to get me around a construction detour on I-25. I ended up somehow missing a left turn, the irony of which will forever slay me, but eventually was headed right down along a long detour that finally got me onto I-25 past the construction with no trouble at all. I then drove for a little under an hour, until 3:30, along a 75 MPH highway that was completely dark (this being desert) and somewhat narrower than most highways around here; I was afraid to go too fast, already being tired. Eventually I found the interior light switch and checked my directions for how to get from my exit to the hotel.This is where the fun begins, folks. At 3:30 I arrived in Santa Fe, tired and ready to get to bed. I followed St. Francis Drive to Paseo de Paralta, and there I hit a snag. On Paseo de Paralta, I was supposed to turn right onto N Guadalupe St. Only somehow I missed it, and turned onto a road that had a similar-looking name in the dark. (I question now whether I was actually on Paseo de Paralta at this point. In fact I might have turned onto Guadalupe St. after all, but at the wrong point.) I passed a Texaco station and was looking for a turn onto W San Fransisco St. that was supposed to be right there, but wasn't. Halting in an empty bank parking lot, I turned around and headed to the Texaco station to ask for directions. 3:45 AM.I shall now digress on languages. New Mexicans seem to speak English flawlessly, with no accent that I could detect whatsoever. Even in Syracuse we have the barely perceptible flat A but are otherwise close to form; here it seemed perfect. That is, except for the not-so-new Mexicans. New Mexico has a fair-sized Hispanic population (no surprises there), and such was the woman working the Texaco station convenience store where I stopped. She said "Paseo de Paralta" in about a tenth of a second, and I barely understood her directions (which seemed to be wrong anyway, I later learned). This was about the only place on this entire excursion that I ever found to pull over and ask someone.I drove along Guadalupe as told, but found nothing. After a few more turns onto streets that I thought would get me back on course, I ended up even more lost. I passed museums and such, but no place to stop and ask for more directions. At 4 AM, back on the good old PdP and thoroughly lost, I stopped in a parking lot outside a lighted store called Albertsons, that I couldn't tell was open or not. After getting my bearings (and by this time freaking out completely, as one of my worst fears is being lost, let alone lost in the middle of the night in a strange town), I decided to go on and take an intersection that I had just seen: Guadalupe. If I was right, I should take the right turn here.However, the corner between PdP and Guadalupe isn't a right angle; it's a slight turn, and the straight road bears a little right. The signpost over the road was leaning in at a weird angle. It was literally impossible, with the judgment and light available to me at 4 AM on a load of adrenaline, to figure out which road was the turn. Naturally I took the straight way without realizing it. Unfortunately, I soon learned that I couldn't turn around.To my horror, PdP (which I thought was Guadalupe, silly me) merged onto 599 south, taking me out of the city. Lights were left behind, and I was traveling on into darkness. Complete panic. I took the first exit and ended up at one of those weird T junctions where you can't be sure which road is going to lead you off into the middle of nowhere. I stopped here a minute, then took the right. I attempted to follow any road I could leading back toward the city lights (when they were visible), and often found myself on a winding road that ran parallel to the city limits. After about 15 minutes of wandering through this pseudoresidential area, I finally found 599 north and it took me back into the city, right back onto PdP.4:15 AM. I followed PdP past familiar landmarks, or what looked familiar. I thought I pulled over in the same bank parking lot but I couldn't find the Texaco station; must've been a different bank. I decided to pull out my new cell phone (I got it just that Saturday) and call the hotel. No answer. I turned around and passed the same plaza I'd been at before, and stopped in the Albertson's parking lot. This time when I called the hotel they answered. The person on the phone was able to guide me from where I was, through the correct right turn at that intersection onto Guadalupe, and from there the rest of the way to the hotel.4:30 AM. Hoping for a valet or at least a bellhop, I ended up parking the car myself and lugging those suitcases, with my own bags and that stinking poster tube on a strap around my neck, around the corner of the building and in. I checked in, then lugged the bags on further (forever, it seemed) to my room. Or to what I thought was my room. In my exhaustion I forgot the room was 247 and kept trying my key card in 249.After a shower I went to bed; the bedside clock confused me by saying 4:00 instead of 3:00 (the correct time in that timezone), but apparently it was never reset to Daylight Savings. Despite utter exhaustion it took me a little while to get to sleep. Adrenaline is an amazing thing.The demo itself went more or less flawlessly, as did the trip back. The lessons I learned from this: 1) Double-check street signs to be sure you read them correctly, no matter how late it is. 2) Ask the convenience store clerk for a road map and for where you are on it, and remember the phrase "Despaccio, por favor." 3) The trace amounts of foil on the label of Tic-Tacs you buy in an airport gift shop will set off the metal detector, despite the fact that at a buck a pop they ought to have stealth technology. 4) Sleeping through Spy Kids isn't an appreciably different experience than staying awake. 5) Never trust a strange alarm clock. 6) Missing a left turn in Albuquerque isn't so bad, no matter what Bugs Bunny says, but pray you never miss a right in Santa Fe.Lummox JR
there and back again------------------
It's the 21st century; where's my flying car?

Mr Erratic · Post by **Mr Erratic** » Mon Aug 13, 2001 11:48 am

Yuck! Welcome to the world of corporate travel. Honestly though, once you get the hang of it, those things stop bothering you as much. They still happen, they just don't bother you as much. <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspace.com/forums/smile.gif">

Michael · Post by **Michael** » Tue Aug 14, 2001 7:15 am

Wow. I had the same trip to Pittsburgh once.------------------
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