I LIVE

The Creature · Post by **The Creature** » Tue May 22, 2001 7:27 am

The place: a tepid puddle deep within the Vicious Lies message board....Splbbp.The time: present day.Pbblepblpb.The event: a bit of forum-sludge has begun transforming water, carbon dioxide, and cheap gags into carbohydrates.Splup-splup-splup.The reason: unknownBlllb....

Somebody Strange · Post by **Somebody Strange** » Tue May 22, 2001 9:06 am

Ummmmm.I have no idea how to react to this.On the one hand, I like having the discussion board as a place for discussion (as opposed to narration). On the other hand, it's definitely creative, well-constructed, and intriguingly vague.I don't like to stifle creativity, folks. Can we all agree to allow this to play out until/unless it becomes unbearable?And to whomever is posting "The Creature" -- would you mind contacting me (privately if necessary) to fill me in a bit so I don't capriciously decide to edit or delete your posts if there's no clarity soon? Thanks.--Strange/Dave------------------
<A HREF="http://viciouslies.keenspace.com" TARGET=_blank>Vicious Lies.</A> You can't handle the truth.
Neurotic -- sane, but unhappy about it.

Chris Purcell · Post by **Chris Purcell** » Wed May 23, 2001 2:41 am

POKE the bit of forum-sludge!::stops and looks at finger::Ewwww!Chris/Kritter

The Creature · Post by **The Creature** » Wed May 23, 2001 3:27 am

Threatened by the irritating poking, the creature finally manages to produce a covering of mucus, affording minimal protection for its sensitive protoplasm.A membrane would be much nicer......but that project will have to wait.And yes, it's now clear that snot has a smell.[This message has been edited by The Creature (edited 05-23-2001).]

Lummox JR · Post by **Lummox JR** » Wed May 23, 2001 5:43 am

I'm up for it, but if it turns out to be some mutant gel from space that dissolves protoplasm and moves under independent locomotion, I say we throw glorp to it.
Aw, screw it. Let's just throw glorp at something.Lummox JR------------------
It's the 21st century; where's my flying car?

Somebody Strange · Post by **Somebody Strange** » Wed May 23, 2001 6:08 am

Okay, folks, here's the deal. I've done some research into the origins of The Creature, and it is officially welcome on my boards. Most of you are used to straight dialogue (as opposed to narration) on these forums (fora? gotta be fora), so this may feel weird for a while, but I think it could be fun.Feel free to interact with The Creature (as much as you can during these early stages of its evolution). Please do not attempt to kill it, eat it, or have sex with it. At least not yet.Finally, please forward any complaints about The Creature directly to me instead of posting on the board. I've promised protection to The Creature so long as it doesn't become Highly Annoying.And Lummox -- glorp-flinging is perfectly acceptable. All Hail the Power of the Moderator.--Strange/Dave------------------
<A HREF="http://viciouslies.keenspace.com" TARGET=_blank>Vicious Lies.</A> You can't handle the truth.
Neurotic -- sane, but unhappy about it.

Uncle monster · Post by **Uncle monster** » Wed May 23, 2001 9:06 am

I've got it!The creature is actually a leftover mustard, peanut butter and jelly sandwich that Dave never finished.Wait. Am I in the wrong forum?------------------
You get ID. I'm going to get artillery. -Schlock

Lummox JR · Post by **Lummox JR** » Wed May 23, 2001 10:00 am

Since the creature likes to transform chemicals, I wonder if we can't make it output polymers as a by-product of digestion. To think, we could solve all the world's fossil fuel problems.Lummox JR
not a member of OPEC
advocate of nuking members of OPEC
still wouldn't wish the Backstreet Boys on OPEC
------------------
It's the 21st century; where's my flying car?

Mother · Post by **Mother** » Thu May 24, 2001 12:56 am

Ewwww! What is this Mess on the floor. You kids been running some experiments again? You better clean this up before I come back from the corner grocery!

Somebody Strange · Post by **Somebody Strange** » Thu May 24, 2001 1:12 am

Oh, Dear Lord.Here we go.

Chris Purcell · Post by **Chris Purcell** » Thu May 24, 2001 2:12 am

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by The Creature:
Threatened by the irritating poking, the creature finally manages to produce a covering of mucus, affording minimal protection for its sensitive protoplasm.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>::Chris feels somewhat guilty about poking it::::Chris wonders how effective the mucus is::POKE!...YAAAAARRRRK!::Chris leaves rapidly::

The Creature · Post by **The Creature** » Thu May 24, 2001 2:17 am

The Creature realizes that the thread it inhabits has suddenly caught fire! Granted, it's a tiny, iconic fire, but that's enough to spook a proto-forum-thing.Grbblplapnrbl!It inserts a pseudopod into a crevice and drips down through a layer of bits and silicon into a crawlspace. The puddle drains after it, leaving only a wet patch with a small crack near the middle.

Mother · Post by **Mother** » Thu May 24, 2001 2:44 am

Way to go kids! I didn't have to repeat myself a dozen times. Now go outside and play. Get some sunshine for heaven's sake!

Lummox JR · Post by **Lummox JR** » Thu May 24, 2001 6:41 am

There was rather a dearth of sunshine today. It was rainy and pretty gross. I think I prefer to play with the puddle thing. After all, it looks like me.Lummox JR------------------
It's the 21st century; where's my flying car?

Somebody Strange · Post by **Somebody Strange** » Thu May 24, 2001 7:11 am

Strange/Dave squints at The Creature, trying to discern its approximate dimensions... bigger than a breadbox? Smaller than an ant? Hint hint.--Strange/Dave------------------
<A HREF="http://viciouslies.keenspace.com" TARGET=_blank>Vicious Lies.</A> You can't handle the truth.
Neurotic -- sane, but unhappy about it.

The Creature · Post by **The Creature** » Thu May 24, 2001 7:28 am

The Creature's size and shape haven't been described, since they are hard to discern. What you're looking at is a conglomeration of the Creature itself, the slime from whence it came, the mucous it excretes, and some standing water. It's hard to tell where one ends and the next begins-- if the Creature even has a definite boundary. However, the whole thing is just under a yard wide, and the Creature is only part of that, so... drop a small cup of coffee on the floor, and the resulting splat will be a good approximation of the Creature's size.Schrlllct!And what's this? No longer satisfied with ambient energy, and finding that a mucous layer is insufficient defense against poking, the Creature appears to be absorbing and digesting the forum-muck around it.

Somebody Strange · Post by **Somebody Strange** » Thu May 24, 2001 8:17 am

Drop a small cup of coffee on the floor???Infidel! Blasphemer! Big bad meanie!Alcohol abuse is one thing, but coffee abuse??? How dare you suggest we poor out coffee???Now, <A HREF="http://arrogance.keenspace.com/d/20010514.html" TARGET=_blank>decaf</A> is another story.--Strange/Dave------------------
<A HREF="http://viciouslies.keenspace.com" TARGET=_blank>Vicious Lies.</A> You can't handle the truth.
Neurotic -- sane, but unhappy about it.

The Creature · Post by **The Creature** » Thu May 24, 2001 8:33 am

Certainly the Creature wants you to pour out coffee. Seeing as it has no muscles, it can't exactly drink from a cup, now can it?

Chris Purcell · Post by **Chris Purcell** » Thu May 24, 2001 9:04 am

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by The Creature:
Certainly the Creature wants you to pour out coffee. Seeing as it has no muscles, it can't exactly drink from a cup, now can it?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>::Chris pours coffee on the floor, and waits for it to be absorbed into the thing::::ponders::Did you want milk with that?::waits::Do you even have vocal chords yet?::thinks::Hmmm. Perhaps not.::pours milk on the floor, also::Wouldn't want it getting tannin poisoning...[This message has been edited by Chris Purcell (edited 05-24-2001).]

The Creature · Post by **The Creature** » Thu May 24, 2001 10:45 am

Spbip.The Creature absorbs most of the coffee and milk.Squee!The slimy blob extends a pseudopod in search of stray spatters, soaking them up along with the slime beneath them. And another limb. And another.Queee!It's incorporated most of the original puddle now. There's just a pool of water with the snot-coated Creature-- approaching a liter of protoplasm now, with a discernable nucleus-- oozing restlessly about.