Farts

Postby DrPhizZ on Tue Apr 24, 2001 3:44 am

You know what I hate?
Thats right!
But I also dislike it when people do huge farts and say "I farted". WELL DUH!<P>But what I really love is when I fart and people blame someone else. That just cracks me up.<P>I reckon this comic needs more fart jokes
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Postby Kingmissile on Tue Apr 24, 2001 6:46 am

I was thinking to myself, what sort of topic would be most evocative for replies. my mind was ticking away, and i guess i must have digested enough methane gas in that time that my body decided it was time to expel some, and not in a surreptious way either. <P>there is just too much to say about farts one can go on for hours. like, i think we should all work out a way to endorse billy connolly's idea to make farts sound like the person they come from. and even perhaps say that persons name. that way no one could try and deny whose fart it was. for instance: mine would say "ryadan" and it would be in my own voice. to add more amusement to the act, maybe the voice could somehow reflect the magnitude of the flatulence. I could BOOM "RYADAN!!!" or i could squeak it. <P>now, i read somewhere that farts can be seen similar to breath on a cold frosty day. imagine that. you are walking behind this little old lady and this massive sillhouette of a condensation dragon escapes from the ladies woolen undies. you'd want to be wary of that little old lady. <P>did you know that if you were in space and you farted, you could actually propel yourself forward. brings a whole new meaning to the term "rocket fuel." apparently since there is virtually no opposing force in the form of friction or gravity to counteract the force of the fart we could just fly around in space with an endless supply of fuel. that is, if you don't explode first. because we all know that without atmospheric pressure and gravity our bodies just want to go and fill evey area of space. <P>god, i sound like some old granny telling you all the facts of flatulence maybe hoping that you will use it only as a scientific experiment. NAH, play the FART GAME!!!!!<P>so tell me kiddies, what do you think is the best position for farting? <P>did you know that termites fart the most and that fact is tenderly connected to global warming.
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Postby WFAdam on Thu May 03, 2001 10:20 am

but why fart jokes?<P>why not jokes about eyeballs? <P>BECAUSE FARTS ARE FUNNY!!!!!!! <P><P>------------------
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Postby WFAdam on Fri May 04, 2001 5:01 am

that was a good one.<P>by the way, have you ever had your eyeballs licked? <P>this was an actual question asked in a purity test. <P>pretty gross huh.<P>------------------
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Postby DrPhizZ on Fri May 04, 2001 5:58 am

No, I can't say that I have had my eyeballs licked. But my eyeballs have been sexually harrassed from time to time.
There are just some people you do not want to see naked.<P>------------------
40,000 people die every day.
Why aren't you one of them?
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Postby DrPhizZ on Fri May 04, 2001 11:43 am

I dunno, eyeballs are pretty funny too<P>"Why did the eyeball cross the road?"
"Because it could see!"<P>HA HA HA
<P>------------------
40,000 people die every day.
Why aren't you one of them?
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Postby Kingmissile on Sat May 05, 2001 1:51 am

lol.dave. <P>i have had my eyeball licked and i can say its pretty<P>normal. <P>infact i think it just saves you having to blink. it was quite fun. but just a word of advice for people who are going to be doing it, make sure they haven't just licked your ass, that one mistake i made. i couldn't see for at least a week.
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Postby WFAdam on Sat May 05, 2001 8:41 am

Yes, I would have to say that it probably wasn't a very good idea to do that......<P>
ummmmm.. yeah. <P>------------------
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