Hmm, busy place! :)

Mel · Post by **Mel** » Fri Sep 15, 2000 8:10 am

Just thought i'd say Hi. Found the comic today, spent the afternoon getting through the archive, then made sure the bookmark worked.

I like, is fun.

Even though I KNOW i'm probably not getting half the musical "jokes"

Remi · Post by **Remi** » Fri Sep 15, 2000 9:33 am

Thanks for the kind words Mel!
It's the half of the jokes you do get that are important <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspace.com/forums/wink.gif">If I could make a musical joke you would get, what would it be about? Would it be about a band, an instrument, those funny noises elephants make..anything! This is open to anyone, all suggestions will be considered...perhaps even used. I have already had drunken frat boys in the strip so, please, no Limp Bizkit or Dave Matthews.
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Remi
<A HREF="http://www.too-fat.com" TARGET=_blank>Too Fat to be a Rockstar</A>

Mel · Post by **Mel** » Mon Sep 18, 2000 12:29 am

Hmm. If that means what kind of music do i listen to... anything. Well, no, i don't like rap or most of the tennybopper top 40 songs. i can listen to country if there's no choice.

I even have a few albums or it. And opera, classical, classic rock, alternative, and a gazillion things in between.

Well, teh really harder rock i've never gotten into much, either. But as far as jokes go? *L* Sorry, i'm just really dense and don't get jokes easy.

Remi · Post by **Remi** » Mon Sep 18, 2000 1:19 am

Well, I guess I'll just keep hitting people with baseballbats/shovels/deathrays as well as making the occasional 'hipper-than-thou' music reference <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspace.com/forums/wink.gif">Johnny Cash is the man.

Mel · Post by **Mel** » Tue Sep 19, 2000 9:27 am

<IMG SRC="http://www.keenspace.com/forums/eek.gif"> I got mentioned on the main page, I'm flattered! *L*

Remi · Post by **Remi** » Tue Sep 19, 2000 11:13 am

Well, I honestly aminterested in doing other forms of musical commentary, and I'm not all-knowing yet, so I don't mind asking for suggestions. So, yes, congratualtions on making it to the front page of a comic and stimulating conversation!

Mgoodrum · Post by **Mgoodrum** » Tue Sep 26, 2000 12:04 am

I've got some thoughts on possible sources of commentary, but I'm having difficulty making them visual or verbal. For instance, the intonation of classical music announcers is more standardized than McDonalds, but most people don't even register this fact; particularly amny of the elitists I know. Then there is, of course, the continental divide of techno, i.e. the line drawn between those who think it's all the same (like, say, vodka), and those who claim that there is a noticeable difference in quality bwtween songwriters/producers.My $0.02Mike------------------
Cheeseburgers and horsepower do not make a culture.

Mgoodrum · Post by **Mgoodrum** » Tue Sep 26, 2000 12:05 am

I'm living in allergy zone. Please read 'amny' in the above post as 'many'.Mike------------------
Cheeseburgers and horsepower do not make a culture.

D Carlos · Post by **D Carlos** » Wed Sep 27, 2000 5:20 am

Hey, if you ever need some inspiration for a music store from hell, consider the place that's about three blocks from where I live. All the worst specimans of country, arena rock, rap, and Christian packed into one small corner of a strip mall. They have an entire section devoted to anthologies of popular wedding music! It's horrifying.

Remi · Post by **Remi** » Wed Sep 27, 2000 11:05 am

I want to expand the 'classical voice' to jazz 'radio personalities' also...are they all from the same planet? By the way, Mr. Goodrum, you can just edit the messages instead of posting new ones. <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspace.com/forums/rolleyes.gif">I want to do something on techno in the future, but I'm a little afraid of it. I'm just not of an afficianado (more through sheer willpower than ignorance). Definitely a place to go, though.------------------
Remi
<A HREF="http://www.too-fat.com" TARGET=_blank>Too Fat to be a Rockstar</A>

Remi · Post by **Remi** » Thu Sep 28, 2000 10:48 am

Oh my goodness, a couple episodes of a 'It crawled from Shoggoth' type record store would be fun. Cthuloid Clerk: "No, sir, we don't have any Bach, would you prefer some 'Morbid Angel'?"Customer: "Are you even listening to me? I don't want heavy metal, do you have any classical music at all?"Clerk: "I'm afraid not, but you will bow to my master, Zigggur Shohoroth!!"Customer:"I think I'll just try Tower, thanks..."Clerk: "Don't forget your complimentary local music paper, and "I'm marked for death by Cthulu" button on your way out." -Remi

D Carlos · Post by **D Carlos** » Fri Sep 29, 2000 1:31 am

Your account of the history and development of the race of "DJs" is both accurate and detailed; however, you have overlooked one subspecies of the DJ, which, although considered to be outside of the mainstream American culture, is nevertheless common in certain circles. There are three distinct breeds of Christian radio personalities: the gospel music announcer, the kindly preacher, and the screaming preacher. The first, the only one to regularly play music and therefore the only true DJ among them, is a variant of the R&B DJ, bred to be smooth, usually with a deep voice. The second is a relative of the classical music announcer, with the same careful intonation and precise speech, with shades of admonishment, self-righteousness, and what I think is supposed to be some sort of approximation of a joyful tone. The last, perhaps the least common but most easily recognizable, is a highly specialized breed designed to appeal to a select audience. The screaming preacher, the furthest relative of the classical music DJ, is usually characterized by poor grammar and enunciation, recurring hoarseness and the sound of spittle and various small objects flying around the microphone. He is also frequently accompanied by loud shouts from a crowd that, for whatever reason, usually seems to be mostly female, judging from the pitch of the background screams. These three varieties of radio personalities were of course created for the radio stations meant to serve the Religious Right, the movement that the forefathers of the New World Order so wisely predicted would rise to supposedly oppose their plans to pave the way for the coming of the Antichrist. Related to these three is the rightwing talk show host, but as this is a nonmusical variety of radio personality I will not discuss it in this forum.[This message has been edited by D Carlos (edited 09-29-2000).]

Mgoodrum · Post by **Mgoodrum** » Fri Sep 29, 2000 1:54 am

Well Moss, I caught a number of LSD references, but was quickly distracted by all the pretty colors. I think I'm living on the wrong coast. Pete Harrison??The FCCIA deserves a card of its own in Steve Jackson's Illuminati game; anyone care to rate that card?Role playing games in general are a good target, as ancillary culture anyway; TooFat could probably get some RPG throwaway lines to dovetail nicely with the current Goth material.Mike P.S. I finally caught the drift of the editing icons.
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Cheeseburgers and horsepower do not make a culture.[This message has been edited by mgoodrum (edited 09-29-2000).]

Remi · Post by **Remi** » Fri Sep 29, 2000 2:04 am

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by D Carlos:
The screaming preacher is usually characterized by poor grammar and enunciation and recurring hoarseness, and frequently accompanied by loud shouts from a crowd that, for whatever reason, usually seems to be mostly female, judging from the pitch of the background screams.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>It is generally agreed upon that the screamin' preacher is the mutant lovechild of a Tom Waits concert and Garrison Keillor, brainwashed by Jerry Falwell, and marketed by Microsoft.

Moss · Post by **Moss** » Fri Sep 29, 2000 4:25 am

Hrmm...
I suppose I should note that the two DJ Template Names, Pete Harrison and Randal Dean Jacobsen, weren't actually references to anything. I'm thrilled to discover that there are LSD references.

Mel · Post by **Mel** » Fri Sep 29, 2000 8:21 am

*L* Good ideas. <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspace.com/forums/biggrin.gif">
I always got endless (or maybe it just seemed that way) amusment from the college DJ's and how they tried SO hard, with weird voices and everything... Maybe there IS somethgin that possesises an otherwise normal speaking person, when they lay hand on certain types of music? Scary thought. <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspace.com/forums/eek.gif">

David Bohannon · Post by **David Bohannon** » Fri Sep 29, 2000 9:01 am

Ah, KPFK and KCRW... one of the better things that I did while living in LA was to skip class at seminary and then stay up at night doing needlepoint and listening to the two dyke (their own word!) hosts of "Feminists Today" on KPFK... ah.... Johnny Cash is THE MAN... i think the whole theory of renegade government operations to control radio makes an excellent explanation for why Johnny doesn't get any radio time...

Moss · Post by **Moss** » Fri Sep 29, 2000 9:31 am

Actually, as far as I can tell, it's not just classical, nor even just classical and jazz. It appears that each style of music has exactly one associated "DJ Voice". This is not mere coincidence. It is actually the result of a series of secret experiments that were carried out in the late 1940s: the CIA and the FCC, in an effort to expand state power and to dumb down the masses to prepare them for the New World Order, redirected many of the scientists from the Mannhattan Project to a number of new areas of research. The key technological developments were the abilities to warp space-time, and to manipulate the human genome with great precision. Using these technologies, the FCCIA was able to create several "shadow earths"--vast, empty breeding grounds for a series of semi-human races of "DJs" (as they were called in the then-current military slang--respect for decency prevents me from expanding the abbreviation). These "DJs", who reproduced by cloning and were carefully raised in identical, government manufactured environments, were then cryogenically preserved in vast warehouses underneath Montana. They are harvested as needed, a few being taken out of stasis each year to replace old and decaying Radio Personalities. Every once in a while, new varieties are developed. Pete Harrison, for example, the template whose clones #23-#147 currently perform all male NPR voices, was the result of a largely unsuccessful attempt to create a more expressive variant of the classical music announcer.Especially interesting is the case of the "Rock DJ", Randal Dean Jacobsen (generally called "Randy"). Specially developed by J. Edgar Hoover as a part of Cointelpro, RDJ's purpose is to destroy the effectiveness of the counterculture by eliminating any mental capacity it may have had. The only one of the clones known to be capable of breeding naturally, a key part of RDJ's mission is to dilute the Rock genome with the key DJ traits of stupidity, conformity, and manipulability. There is hope, though: the strange and secretive brotherhood of rock critics, far from being "The Enemy", as is generally thought, are actually an elite fighting force, trained by the Legion of Dynamic Discord, and sent to "retire" those who have been weakened by exposure to the RDJ genome.Rolling Stone magazine was once able to secure several of the scientists from the FCCIA project, and attempted, in their "Hunter Project", to engineer the ultimate soldier to oppose the DJ invasion, but they were found out and infiltrated. Only one specimen was able to escape, and has stayed hidden by pursuing a career in Real Journalism.More lately, some of the Hunter technology has been found further developed by the KPFA, an organization founded around the time of the FCCIA Project by a breakaway group of scientists and poets. Though the FCCIA has infiltrated their parent organization, the "Pacifica Foundation", KPFA's director-in-exile, Nicole Sawaya, still hopes to develop a group of "S-Men" to defend against the National Association of Broadcasters, a very powerful group that believes a war is brewing between DJs and the rest of humanity.I could go on about how how the British Government harnessed DJ technology to asassinate and replace Shane MacGowan, or about how a drug developed by the Hunter Project has given certain people the ability to recognize extremely subtle variations in sound, even to the point of distinguishing one piece of Techno from another, but I fear I have said too much already.--MossP.S. There will be a reward of 35 points to the first person to spot every reference in this post.

Remi · Post by **Remi** » Fri Sep 29, 2000 10:18 am

Even though I am not familiar with the specifics of the secret project thus far, I am familiar with the various genomes and their effects. I am afraid you have left one out. WRNR of Annapolis, a 'renegade' station in all but the ways that count, was involved in a project to create a subspecies of the "Randy" called the "Damien". The "Damien" is an attempt to infuse a jazz/classical announcer with a Rawk personality. Ultimately deemed a failure, the Damien has risen to some local prominence on WRNR, where he was donated to them because, as FBI director Louis J Freeh said, "They're really just a charity case."