Cause Pauly's an idiot :p

Postby Shleb on Sun Jul 15, 2001 11:18 am

Ok I must post my final entry here since Pauly's a bum and closed the thread for the contest early. See it's not midnight here yet so it's not the 15th. And as Scrubbo pointed out how can you expect the Procrastination Goddess to post anything ahead of time.<P>She sat at the front of the entry hall upon an ivory throne. Dressed in a pale ivory dress that hugged her slim body before flaring out into a full skirt from her hips. The hem seemed to flutter, as if from an unseen breeze, around her feet. Her pale hair, tinged red by natural highlights, gleamed in the soft glowing light. The strands danced around her face and shoulders brushed back behind small ears by a casual hand. A soft mewling drew her attention to the small sappire blue and emerald green bundles sitting upon her shoulders.<P>"Aww, easy Xaine, Xaithe, they'll arrive soon enough," the woman whispered reaching up to stroke the heads of two small dragons who sat upon her shoulders. Glancing around the entry hall she smiled to herself watching a shark swim by outside. The sides of the room curved out in a semi-circle from the solid wall behind the throne upon which she sat. Clear windows, made of some obscure substance, revealed the beauty of teh sea beyond them. The windows streched from ceiling to floor following the curve of the rooom. For 180 degrees akk ibe ciykd see was the ocean. Below the windows the marle floor glimmered a shiny ivory but was strangly warm to the touch.<P>Suddenly at the far end of the entry hall, in front of the center window, 5 guys appeared magically.<P><I>"Well here they are Xaine, what should we do with them?</I><P>A sense of unholy glee filled her mind. <I>"Oh so you approve of my plan"</I><P>An almost imperceptable nod of his head was quickly matched by Xaithe as she seemed to almost grin.<P>As the 5 guys approached she studied each carefully. After all worshipers needed to be kept in hand. Ten feet in front of the dias all five dropped to one knee and bowed their heads. "Mistress, you sent for us" the eldest said.<P>"we are here at your bidding" came the reply from the bearded one.<P>Ranged in a line before her those known as the 4 Toon Tellers and their nemisis bowed their heads to the Goddess of Procrastination. The eldest Frank, AKA Damonk, or as she preferred to call him notd was teh comic genius behind Framed! He seemed to get much pleasure in torturing himself and the others around him with his presence. Breaking the 4th wall as if it were a fly to be swatted he sent his characters slamming into the faces of his readers. Added to this the horror his characters (friends all) felt at their G rating (what happened to the nipples??) left everyone stunned especially as they all turned manga. Now if we could only get some hentai out of it...hentai...G rating...damn contradicion in terms...guess it's just not redeemable.<P>Next down the line knelt Brandon, AKA Scrubbo, the punerrific artist of Silly Cone V and contributor to Comicollage. Though his subject set her back slightly as she much preffered magic to those strange things people called technology he redeems himself with his ability to turn the world understandable and humorous through "silly" characters adn their antics. (Well that and his amazing cameo ability of herself) Maybe part of the appeal is the strange twists technology forces, even to mixing dimensions.<P>Smack in teh middle of the group sat Pauly, AKA Pauly...wait a second <IMG SRC="">, hand behind teh fun Untitled Again. And what a hand it is, able to create anything and have it come to life. Not that it always turns out the way he plans. Look at the little terror Mikey he released upon the world. All gals beware! Though with the invention of a new roommate, set to please Pat and Mikey, he's lately been in quite a bit of hot water. <P>Next, and the last of the Tellers, Joe AKA SuperJoe, is the one with the wacky mind, and the creator of J-Walkin first adn foremost as well as contributor to Comicollage and Spoon on High. One is never sure what they're going to see next from evil nipples to sock hands with wills of their own or flying dolphins, the plot never seems to go where one thinks it should. But the randomness is part of the charm. His comics are only for the truly enlightened.<P>Last in the group before her the Tellers "nemisis", John AKA Sporky, Sporkman, Trout, or Troutman (phew) the creator of our great superhero in the Sporkman Chronicles. Somehow a man with a spork for a head manages to convince the world he is a superhero out for truth and justice or some such nonsense. Like anything could compete with a goddess. Still the humor and great drawing saves the fool from extreme offense. The antics therein do manage to entertain and that is what is important after all.<P>With a pleasant grin (or so it appeared) the Goddess smiled down from her throne at her subjects. "You're probably all wondering why I brought you here today aren't you?"<P>"Well yes mistress. It was an unusual summons," Pauly replied.<P>"Have y'all been loyal and dutiful subjects?"<P>A chorus of "Yes mistress's" greeted that question.<P>"Then you should have nothing to worry about. Now you 5 have been my worshipers the longest and as such have a certain special place among those who follow me. But..."<P>Suddenly the goddess's eyes flashed a brilliant emerald green. the wind picked up, and long tendrils of blue and green flame licked over her dress in constant movement. As one Xaithe and Xaine reared up on Shel's shoulders wings flared, eyes shining, and hissing harshly. Slowly an evil grin spread across the goddess's face and she got to her feet. Little rods of lighing danced around her hands twining through her fingers and over the backs of her hands. As she spoke a chill krept into her voice and the boys knew they should fear.<P>"But" she repeated, "You five are failing me." The two dragons nodded in agreement. "For that elevateed status you enjoy I've waited patiently for your worship to stand out fromt eh masses. All of you should stand out easily in your devotion to me. Where is the daily prayers? Where is the following of my laws and practices? Frankly I no longer believe you are as devoted to me as you claim or as you should be."<P>By this point all 5 boys cowered before her awesome power. Joe attempted to speech but was quickly cut off as she spoke again.<P>"No, no comments. There is no excuse. You have been failing in your duties. Now you must redeem yourselves."<P>"Oh yes mistress. Anything you wish," John quickly assured her.<P>"Ah good. Ready acceptance is good for you. It will save you a lot of pain and suffering." Glancing over back towards er should she spoke to the sapphire dragon. "Xaine hun, will you please grab the scroll for me?" Switching tot he emerald dragoness she asked, "Xaithe sweetheart, the know which one." Smiling and with a scratch for her two darlings she watched the two as they lifted off her shoulders and disappeared.<P>Shifting her gaze back to her delinquent worshippers her eyes seemed to harden and grow colder again. "This will only take a second." With that the two dragons reappeared dropping a rolled scroll and a silver elegant pen into her outstreched hands. "Now each of you must face the consequences for forgetting about me. I have decided that to show your devotion to me each of you must give up something important to you. This sacrifice will serve to remind you of your duty to me. Frank," Shel's voice rang out. "Please step forward."<P>Stepping away from the group he knelt and waited for her command. "For your punishment you must give up something that livens your evenings. We all know you enjoy it immensly, but I'm sure you are devoted to me more. Frank if you truly want to remain in my good graces, which I strongly recommend y'all do, you will sign this scroll stating that you will forever give up drinking...BEER. Now step forward and sign or back up if you dare."<P>Hesitating only slightly, but obviously upset Frank stepped forward and took the pen from the Goddess's outstreched hand. As his hand closed over hte pen he recieved a quick jolt as lighting shot through the pen into his body. Glancing up into her face he quickly scrawled his name on the page.<P>"Brandon," he quickly stepped forward at the sound of his name and knelt at the base of the dias. "You must relinquish to me something that enlives your weekends, allowing you escape. To me you must give your...MOTORCYCLE. Now step forward and sign."<P>With a frown and saddness in his eyes Scrubbo followed Frank and the same process was repeated, the shock of the lighting and a second name was added to the scroll.<P>"Pauly it is now your turn," Pauly followed the other two forward. "For your sacrivice I demand something in which you adn your roommates (especially Mikey) derive great pleasure from. No matter the material your enjoyment of...PANTIES is now over. Sign the scroll."<P>Trembling Pauly stpeed forward and the process was followed again.<P>"Ahh yes and now we come to hte last of the Tellers, Joe..." Quickly Joe stepped forward and knelt. "For your sacrifice I think a collection you take great pride in shall no longer be yours. As much as you live with them, and in them, they are no longer to be part of your life. Forever more you must find some other top to clothe you're body for your...HAWAIIAN SHIRTS are no longer available to you."<P>With his mouth hanging open in shock Joe could do nothing but follow his compatriots and sign the scroll.<P>"And finally we come to you oh nemisis," John carefully stepped forward. "I thought long and hard about what to take from you. Struggled over it briefly in fact. But then it really was inevitable anyway. You see you rely upon this instrument for inspiration. But sadly you may look upon it no longer. You see the...SPORK may no longer be used by you."<P>Almost passed out from the shock and sheer horror John managed to stumble his way to the scroll and sign his name.<P>Smiling to herself now the Goddess sent a quick flash of lighting gliding over the scroll buring the names into the material for all time. "I knew as my devoted followers you would not disappoint me. Now forever you will remain mine and I will know you will be thinking of me and sending your prayers to me. For now I think.....<P>With a sudden jolt Shel finally heard the insistant beeping of something in the background. Slowly awakening as if from a trance she glanced up and found herself looking into a computer screen where her name was being typed out ever 3 seconds. There were about five messages from HotZP Azif staring her in the face:<P>HotZP Azif: Shel are you there???
HotZP Azif: Sweetie wake up you dozed off.
HotZP Azif: Babe they're talking about you in #4TT.
HotZp Azif: You might want to wake up and look at them.
HotZP Azif: Shel...*HUGS*
Shleb: Huh???
Shleb: What's going on??
Shleb: Damn I must have been dreaming, what's going on....dang you Nick did you have to wake me up right then. I was just at the best part.
Shleb: umm what's going on in IRC. Cause man was I having fun with the Tellers <IMG SRC=""><P>Well there's my story that you just couldn't wait long enough to get a chance to have posted Pauly. I had fun writing it and I hope you guys enjoy it anyway. Oh and btw this is entirely fictional. Really I mean it <IMG SRC=""><P>Always
Shel<P>Oh and sorry Damonk about the bad grammar...couldn't take the time to edit it. You'll just have to forgive me. I hope.
<p>[This message has been edited by shleb (edited 07-15-2001).]
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Postby SuperJoe on Thu Jul 19, 2001 3:24 am

...but let's not tell him that.<P>------------------
Oy! You there! Look!
<A HREF="" TARGET=_blank>J-Walkin'</A> smells cool!
<A HREF="" TARGET=_blank>Comicollage</A> shows you that... It shows you nothing!
<A HREF="" TARGET=_blank>Spoon on High</A> featuring Fire On The Mountian. But only on Sundays.
<A HREF="" TARGET=_blank>The Four Toon Tellers</A> is the last of these links. Big whoop!
"You're fast becoming the Don Juan of the 'Space, Joe!" says Damonk. So you know it's true!
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Postby Scrubbo on Thu Jul 19, 2001 9:57 am

Fortunately I have 5 motorcycles. I'll give up the dirtbike I was planning on trading in for a DIFFERENT dirtbike! BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!<P>FEEL THE LOVE, GODDESS!<P>BOOO YAH!<P>Oh, and Pauly's not an idiot. He's a charming doofus. ^_^<P>
<A HREF="" TARGET=_blank>Silly Cone V</A> What the hell is going on with this strip, anyway?
<A HREF="" TARGET=_blank>comicollage</A> Nominated for "Most Nudity of Hairy French Super Heroes!" and "Best Nasal Porn!"
<A HREF="" TARGET=_blank>The Four Toon Tellers</A> are having a <A HREF="" TARGET=_blank>contest!</A> Really they are! Damonk will even tell you about it if you ask nicely.<p>[This message has been edited by scrubbo (edited 07-19-2001).]
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