Opinions, Need em On Derivatives and the Necessary Changes

[ZOMBIE USER 54]

hey keenspacers. today i received a constructive criticisms from a potential publisher that suggested some of my characters were derivative. it was very friendly and actually helpful to some degree. as my peers, i feel like letting you in on some of the ideas that have been going through my head. i'm trusting everybody with my thoughts and would genuinely like to hear what folks think. first off, it was stated that Wazoo! is derivative of Dogbert. I never made the connection until it was brought up and when it was I could kind of see where they were coming from. Ideally, I'd prefer not to have to cut anyone from my cast, but I may have to drop Wazoo. I do plan on seeing if I can't re-work his character some so as not to be a Dogbert wannabe before I have to decide to cut him. Next up, hiJac. He may be too derivative of the Bananza 2000 from the venerable Bloom County. Aside from the fact that they are computers, I see no other similarities. hiJac hates people and likes to abuse them. I don't recall the Bananza ever doing that. However, of the 3 deemed to be derivative, I feel I could part with hiJac the easiest. Lastly, Ronco. Ronco... the Calvin look-alike. He's insanely naive and trusting and completely NOT a Calvin in dispostion...but yes, I am afraid he does look suspciously too much like Calvin. The BIG thing here though is I CANNOT remove Ronco. His relationship to Josh is too important overall for my strip. So... I have come up with a character restructing/story line to keep the Ronco type relationship alive while removing the blonde, pointy haired kid. My ideas begins like this...<P>I will have Ronco (the current one) die in one of Josh's experiments. It was alluded early on in the comic that Ronco was initially checked out by Josh from his schools psychology department. As we all know, Ronco, Inc. is also the company that makes As Seen on TV kitchen appliances. So... I decided to spoof Ronco "the company" directly by creating a company named Ocnor, Inc. (Ronco backwards). They also make As Seen on TV appliances, but their big bucks come from creating artificial children used in clinical test trials and other experiments where humans are needed. Ronco "the character" was merely a prototype given to Barclay College in this new backstory/arc. Since he is now dead at the hands of Josh, Josh must purchase (or have the college purchase) a new model or two. So, this is where I introduce Ocnor Model 1 and Ocnore Model 2. Model one is dubbed "Cool Ocnor" by the company and has a ceasar cut/clooney cut. Model 2 is chubby with a beany and kind of a feathered hair. One may have red hair, the other black or brown. To distinguish them as artificial creations (and hopefully eliminate further Calvin comparisons), I decided to give them the old school Pac-Man style eyes and I tried to use a different head structure. They both wear the overalls and t-shirt like the original Ronco character did, because Ocnor, Inc. sells them pre-clothed like an old GI JOE action figure. Being created artificially, they are also trained to be naive and trusting so as to allow their voluntary use in experiments. This, I hope, will maintain the "Ronco-like" relationship yet remove the Calvin appearance and thus comparisions that presently plague the existing Ronco. <P>If possible, I'd like some constructive feedback on what everyone thinks so please, be gentle. Thanks! <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspace.com/forums/smile.gif"><P>------------------
Rick Zawadzki
<A HREF="http://barclayusa.keenspace.com" TARGET=_blank>http://barclayusa.keenspace.com</A> <P>"Egg!?!"<p>[This message has been edited by rickZ (edited 07-18-2000).]

[ZOMBIE USER 54]

anyone? anyone? bueller? <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspace.com/forums/smile.gif"><P>------------------
Rick Zawadzki
<A HREF="http://barclayusa.keenspace.com" TARGET=_blank>http://barclayusa.keenspace.com</A> <P>"Egg!?!"

[Screwball McGoo [gDC]]

No one else has died in the strip yet (Perhaps I'm missing some of the archives?) and yet you're trying to take out the little kid first? Perhaps you should create a bit character and kill him off to pave the way for destruction of the lovable little guy.