I'm depressed. I need cheering up.<P>Why does nobody love me? I mean, I'm a nice enough guy. I'm kind. I'm a good conversationalist. I'm even a talented spanker. (Ask about that at the Castle Anthrax. I bet Lancelot's gay.) But nobody loves me, no matter what I do. I mean - okay, sometimes I do some questionable things. I've occasionally fumbled around in a strange woman's dress, but that was because I needed something she'd dropped in there. I've forgotten to repay people money I owed them, but it was never so bad they sent assassins after me. I've used Jedi mind tricks on people, but that was because they were trying to cheat me in the first place. Yet I still get no love from anyone online. It's worse than being Tarantulas.<P>So please, people, love me. Tell me you love me. Let me know that I'm not universally despised. I really need some cheering up. I need someone to tell me "Do not greive", for today to mark the dawning of a new era. I want today to be a festival, complete with teddy bears that live in trees and strange blue ghosts. Let elephants spray water at us and children laugh at us. Please. Really. Please cheer me up.
-Eliot "I feel ploot" Lefebvre<P>------------------
We're only given a little time in our lives to waste. Make the most of it.
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