I did that too a lot of times before, but cuts were not supposed to kill me. Whenever I was in depression, I took a knife and kept cutting myself. Not deep. Those cuts were very shallow, almost looking like scratches. One time, I had both my arm cut so many times, that they looked like an insane cat went on a scratching spree. Also, I made several cuts on my chest, shoulders and stomach too. Luckily, I don't do it anymore.On 2002-04-11 14:20, Surtur wrote:
, but all I ever did was cut myself.
I tried to kill myself today...
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Michael Ezaiany
- Regular Poster
- Posts: 737
- Joined: Sun Mar 10, 2002 4:00 pm
- Location: Czech Republic
- Contact:
"I like the word 'infinite'. It's so simple and yet, so undescribable." ~Michael Ezaiany
-Official Greeter for the Jack Forum
-Official Greeter for the Jack Forum
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Supernerd
- Regular Poster
- Posts: 29
- Joined: Sun Mar 31, 2002 4:00 pm
- Location: Somewhere else. AKA Canada.
- Contact:
Sorry I wasn't here sooner... but really, I don't have much to say. Mainly: Don't kill yourself, person-reading-this. Suicide isn't right for anyone. Everyone has the potential to do something with their lives.
You've got problems? We've all got problems. Stop being so afraid of life and go live. There are moments in every life when fear is gone and it feels good to be alive. Stick around for those.
You've got problems? We've all got problems. Stop being so afraid of life and go live. There are moments in every life when fear is gone and it feels good to be alive. Stick around for those.
Can't sleep Digimon will eat me.
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Supernerd
- Regular Poster
- Posts: 29
- Joined: Sun Mar 31, 2002 4:00 pm
- Location: Somewhere else. AKA Canada.
- Contact:
'Tis the picture that gets me through life, that one is. Read:
***
Rob says:
I have to ask...how did Ozy and Millie change your life?
Supernerd says:
Ozy and Millie changed my life by bringing back childhood memories I thought I'd lost years ago, with that one little picture I'm sure you've seen. Fan-art. An absolutely brilliant piece of fan-art.
Supernerd says:
It keeps me going, really.
Rob says:
What, memories from your childhood?
Supernerd says:
No, the expression on Millie's face.
Rob says:
I'm not sure if I've seen it
Supernerd says:
http://www.ozyandmillie.org/others/lhomtireswing.jpg
Supernerd says:
I've been there a million times, haven't you?
Supernerd says:
Under that swing?
Rob says:
Under the swing?
Supernerd says:
Ozy.
Rob says:
What about him?
Supernerd says:
He's pushing Millie on the swing. And her expression is the reason he's smiling.
Rob says:
I'm not sure I'm grasping the deeper meaning (if there is one) of this picture
Supernerd says:
It's not deep, really, it's just two kids having fun.
Rob says:
Oh...
Rob says:
You must've had some issues at the time
Rob says:
Actually, my childhood went by too fast for me.
Supernerd says:
Not really... just the usual teenaged angst. Girls, school, money, friends. All that stuff was contrasted with that picture there and, well, you can imagine.
Supernerd says:
All of a sudden it felt good to be alive.
Rob says:
I've always felt that way
Rob says:
Well, grateful to be alive anyway
Rob says:
Better than not, in most cases
Supernerd says:
That picture, though, symbolizes a very important reason to be alive: being happy, care-free, with a friend. Zero fear is in that picture.
Rob says:
Do you have a lot of fear in your life?
Supernerd says:
No more than most.
Supernerd says:
When you think about it, though, there's a lot of fear in most people's lives.
Supernerd says:
But when you're at the park with a best friend and there's nothing to be afraid of or afraid of losing, life is wonderful. It feels good.
Rob says:
Paedophille's use the park's as targets
Rob says:
Those poor animals could be molested
Supernerd says:
No, because in that picture the only things that exist are Ozy, Millie, the tree and the tire swing.
Rob says:
Woah.
Rob says:
That's one wack world...
Supernerd says:
It's not a world, it's a single moment.
Supernerd says:
Frozen in time.
Supernerd says:
How many moments like that go by until fear returns is unknown, but in that single moment there is no fear and life is good.
Rob says:
It's moments like those that make it worth battling through the fear...
Rob says:
I think I can see where you're coming from now
Supernerd says:
Exactly.
***
Rob says:
I have to ask...how did Ozy and Millie change your life?
Supernerd says:
Ozy and Millie changed my life by bringing back childhood memories I thought I'd lost years ago, with that one little picture I'm sure you've seen. Fan-art. An absolutely brilliant piece of fan-art.
Supernerd says:
It keeps me going, really.
Rob says:
What, memories from your childhood?
Supernerd says:
No, the expression on Millie's face.
Rob says:
I'm not sure if I've seen it
Supernerd says:
http://www.ozyandmillie.org/others/lhomtireswing.jpg
Supernerd says:
I've been there a million times, haven't you?
Supernerd says:
Under that swing?
Rob says:
Under the swing?
Supernerd says:
Ozy.
Rob says:
What about him?
Supernerd says:
He's pushing Millie on the swing. And her expression is the reason he's smiling.
Rob says:
I'm not sure I'm grasping the deeper meaning (if there is one) of this picture
Supernerd says:
It's not deep, really, it's just two kids having fun.
Rob says:
Oh...
Rob says:
You must've had some issues at the time
Rob says:
Actually, my childhood went by too fast for me.
Supernerd says:
Not really... just the usual teenaged angst. Girls, school, money, friends. All that stuff was contrasted with that picture there and, well, you can imagine.
Supernerd says:
All of a sudden it felt good to be alive.
Rob says:
I've always felt that way
Rob says:
Well, grateful to be alive anyway
Rob says:
Better than not, in most cases
Supernerd says:
That picture, though, symbolizes a very important reason to be alive: being happy, care-free, with a friend. Zero fear is in that picture.
Rob says:
Do you have a lot of fear in your life?
Supernerd says:
No more than most.
Supernerd says:
When you think about it, though, there's a lot of fear in most people's lives.
Supernerd says:
But when you're at the park with a best friend and there's nothing to be afraid of or afraid of losing, life is wonderful. It feels good.
Rob says:
Paedophille's use the park's as targets
Rob says:
Those poor animals could be molested
Supernerd says:
No, because in that picture the only things that exist are Ozy, Millie, the tree and the tire swing.
Rob says:
Woah.
Rob says:
That's one wack world...
Supernerd says:
It's not a world, it's a single moment.
Supernerd says:
Frozen in time.
Supernerd says:
How many moments like that go by until fear returns is unknown, but in that single moment there is no fear and life is good.
Rob says:
It's moments like those that make it worth battling through the fear...
Rob says:
I think I can see where you're coming from now
Supernerd says:
Exactly.
Can't sleep Digimon will eat me.
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Grendelwulf
- Regular Poster
- Posts: 113
- Joined: Fri Jan 01, 1999 4:00 pm
I'm happy that someone else finds that comic theraputic. All the webcomics I read brighten my day, even if just a little bit. Ozy reminds me of me at a young age: passive. I'm almost the opposite now (but I have read about zen 
). Ozy and Millie's outlooks on life and the world still make me laugh, and also remind me of myself. We all find some sort of release in this world. With me, it's warhammer 40k miniatures, videogames, and lots of webcomics.
). Ozy and Millie's outlooks on life and the world still make me laugh, and also remind me of myself. We all find some sort of release in this world. With me, it's warhammer 40k miniatures, videogames, and lots of webcomics.Look I am new here, and I have only glanced at this post. I feel compeled to tell you of my thoughts.
First of, why do you feel so alone and useless. Have you looked and tried, and I mean really looked and tried to find a use in your life. Well, I'm not sure that you have, for it is my belief that everyone on this planet had a gift. The problem is finding that gift inside. But maybe that is the mystery of life.
I know depressiom very well. It has struck me on many occasions, and plauges my mother, probably for the rest of her life. One thing I learned from watching my mother pretty much destroy herself, is you can't let something like depression beat you. For what is depression? It is nothing more them a mind game. Or rather an inbalance that can be corrected. The correction can come from something as simple as just looking in a mirror, and just letting go of pain and self doubt. Or it could be helped with medication and a counseler. Either way it saves your life before you do somthing not worth doing. Don't let it beat you, for you are much more then depression can ever be.
Let it be know I am not religious at all. No I don't believen a heavan or hell. So no I don't think you'll go to either if you take your own life. To me there just is no reason worth taking your own life. Life is a gift, it's not something you throw away when it doesn't go right. If that were so, then the majority of people on this planet would have done it already. For even the most perfect people have faults and sad times. It's just not worth it. I have choosen to live every minuet of my life, cause it's the only one I got. Don't do something that you can not come back from, cause it is just to permenemant. You have life, so stop giving in to sadness, and despaire and live my friend, live. For that is all we can do. So why not enjoy it while we can.
_________________
I bet you though this might be a good sig, but you sure were wrong, oh boy you were wrong.
<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Nate Fox on 2002-04-11 22:22 ]</font>
First of, why do you feel so alone and useless. Have you looked and tried, and I mean really looked and tried to find a use in your life. Well, I'm not sure that you have, for it is my belief that everyone on this planet had a gift. The problem is finding that gift inside. But maybe that is the mystery of life.
I know depressiom very well. It has struck me on many occasions, and plauges my mother, probably for the rest of her life. One thing I learned from watching my mother pretty much destroy herself, is you can't let something like depression beat you. For what is depression? It is nothing more them a mind game. Or rather an inbalance that can be corrected. The correction can come from something as simple as just looking in a mirror, and just letting go of pain and self doubt. Or it could be helped with medication and a counseler. Either way it saves your life before you do somthing not worth doing. Don't let it beat you, for you are much more then depression can ever be.
Let it be know I am not religious at all. No I don't believen a heavan or hell. So no I don't think you'll go to either if you take your own life. To me there just is no reason worth taking your own life. Life is a gift, it's not something you throw away when it doesn't go right. If that were so, then the majority of people on this planet would have done it already. For even the most perfect people have faults and sad times. It's just not worth it. I have choosen to live every minuet of my life, cause it's the only one I got. Don't do something that you can not come back from, cause it is just to permenemant. You have life, so stop giving in to sadness, and despaire and live my friend, live. For that is all we can do. So why not enjoy it while we can.
_________________
I bet you though this might be a good sig, but you sure were wrong, oh boy you were wrong.
<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Nate Fox on 2002-04-11 22:22 ]</font>
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Michael Ezaiany
- Regular Poster
- Posts: 737
- Joined: Sun Mar 10, 2002 4:00 pm
- Location: Czech Republic
- Contact:
Michael, others have said same i would say but i would point out something:
First rule of helping people is avoid usual traps such as diminishing peoples suffering by saying that it will go away or that i know how you are feeling. No one knows how you are feeling but all people have suffered and survived. That doesn
First rule of helping people is avoid usual traps such as diminishing peoples suffering by saying that it will go away or that i know how you are feeling. No one knows how you are feeling but all people have suffered and survived. That doesn
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Bustercharlie
- Regular Poster
- Posts: 355
- Joined: Fri Jan 01, 1999 4:00 pm
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DarkBlood_Warwing
- Regular Poster
- Posts: 123
- Joined: Fri Jan 01, 1999 4:00 pm
- Location: gondwanda
- Contact:
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Lonewolf Grey
- Newbie
- Posts: 2
- Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2002 4:00 pm
First off I'm glad you're feeling better Michael. Granted you (or any of the rest of you for that matter) probably don't really remember me as I don't post too much. The main reason I'm here is Dave and Katie are good friends of mine and I happen to live with Buster:)
Anyway Buster and I also happen to work at the same place. So in he comes and one of the things he mentions is this thread. Now I'll be honest, my first reaction was to snort derisively. But upon reading through my compassion wins out (it always does) and I am honestly happy that you are feeling better. I have been in very similar situations emotion-wise and I do know where you are coming from. I should be on anti-depressants to be quite blunt. But, I don't know, I guess I just always expect myself to be able to make it through whatever problems I'm having by myself, as it were. That belief will probably get me into trouble some day:)
Hold onto the wonder of life, the joy and adventurew of everyday living. Its so easy to lose in a world etched with suffering, strife and malcontent. We are all desperatly seeking a reason to be instead of just being. This world has never felt right to me, I have never felt like I belonged here in this Human body. Thats not a new concept, half of todays agnsty teen-aged furrys (or otherwise) have it. But the real horror is growing up, striping away all the excess emotional baggage, carving down through all the defenses, hopes, dreams, whatever that keeps you from the nuts and bolts of your psyche, and finding that those feelings of displacement and alienation are real. And they are not going away.
But thats me just rambling about my own problems to perhaps help you gain some perspective on yours, or not:) At any rate, I have my bad days and I have my good. To take one's own life is not an act of cowardice, it is an act of despair. Death is easy, living is hard. And death always waits, so why not live another day?
Lonewolf Grey
P.S. I'm sorry I gave Buster the idea to call you "The Official Cocksucker of the Jack Forums". I didn't mean it, well not completely anyway:) my ICQ number is 996880, I'm also on Yahoo as lwolf.rm and AOL as HungrySponge. My email is lwolf@rocketmail.com. I should probably just fill out the stupid profile page istead of being lazy, too:) But take care and if you want yet another person to talk to I would be happy to call you a friend.
Anyway Buster and I also happen to work at the same place. So in he comes and one of the things he mentions is this thread. Now I'll be honest, my first reaction was to snort derisively. But upon reading through my compassion wins out (it always does) and I am honestly happy that you are feeling better. I have been in very similar situations emotion-wise and I do know where you are coming from. I should be on anti-depressants to be quite blunt. But, I don't know, I guess I just always expect myself to be able to make it through whatever problems I'm having by myself, as it were. That belief will probably get me into trouble some day:)
Hold onto the wonder of life, the joy and adventurew of everyday living. Its so easy to lose in a world etched with suffering, strife and malcontent. We are all desperatly seeking a reason to be instead of just being. This world has never felt right to me, I have never felt like I belonged here in this Human body. Thats not a new concept, half of todays agnsty teen-aged furrys (or otherwise) have it. But the real horror is growing up, striping away all the excess emotional baggage, carving down through all the defenses, hopes, dreams, whatever that keeps you from the nuts and bolts of your psyche, and finding that those feelings of displacement and alienation are real. And they are not going away.
But thats me just rambling about my own problems to perhaps help you gain some perspective on yours, or not:) At any rate, I have my bad days and I have my good. To take one's own life is not an act of cowardice, it is an act of despair. Death is easy, living is hard. And death always waits, so why not live another day?
Lonewolf Grey
P.S. I'm sorry I gave Buster the idea to call you "The Official Cocksucker of the Jack Forums". I didn't mean it, well not completely anyway:) my ICQ number is 996880, I'm also on Yahoo as lwolf.rm and AOL as HungrySponge. My email is lwolf@rocketmail.com. I should probably just fill out the stupid profile page istead of being lazy, too:) But take care and if you want yet another person to talk to I would be happy to call you a friend.
I'm so very glad that this is one crisis that apparently was averted. I never *ever* want to hear or see another fur suicide. We just lost one not two weeks ago and its a sad day indeed when that happens.
<P>
Just remember, anytime any of you think of doing that one final irivocable act.. There are folk who can and will help you. Both for yourself and for the fact that suicide hurts us all. We're there for you. Anything else is unthinkable.
<P>
Just remember, anytime any of you think of doing that one final irivocable act.. There are folk who can and will help you. Both for yourself and for the fact that suicide hurts us all. We're there for you. Anything else is unthinkable.
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Michael Ezaiany
- Regular Poster
- Posts: 737
- Joined: Sun Mar 10, 2002 4:00 pm
- Location: Czech Republic
- Contact:
i'm sorry i didn't reply sooner as well. the reason i didn't is because, the way i figure it, if so many people are posting, a stranger like me just isn't needed. i.e; the amount of people that care about you intimidate me. i wish i had some real friends, but i wouldn't know what to do with them if i had them. you see, i'm clinical. delusions, dreams, insanity, mood swings... the whole lot. i also have serious emotion issues. the only emotion i have that i'm familiar with, and enjoy, is hate. i don't even believe in love. most of my emotions were learned, so the fact that my good moods are simulated usually drive people (usually not furs though yay!) away. grrs. i'll get it right one day. oh geez no, no, don't think i'm using your post as an excuse for ME to complain about MY life, because i wasn't! i was simply trying to state, that at least you CAN feel.
I'll just put my two cents about suaside. I want to help as much as I can for those who try to take there own life. I lost too many friends from suaside. And there is no way I want to lose any more. 1 friend gone is painful. 2 hurts even more. Yet 5 is just too much.
Ok i'll be quiet now. Take care all of yous.
Ok i'll be quiet now. Take care all of yous.
In The Beginning there was nothing, which exploded.
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Psychotikitten
- Regular Poster
- Posts: 41
- Joined: Fri Jan 01, 1999 4:00 pm
I know something about depression...
About 6 months ago, I had my mother's 9mm in my hands and and I wandered into the bathroom. I sat on the edge of the tub and stuck the barrel in my mouth. I had been thinking about how cowardly and pathetic I was, and how nobody would miss me because nobody cared. Sitting there, though, with that heavy-ass gun in my mouth, I realized that I had my whole life to make changes. I could move, become a different person, get a sex change, whatever. If I ended it here, there would be so many things I would never experience. I was cutting myself off short.
Give yourself the time you need. Change things around. Nobody is forcing you to stay. Make changes! What have you got to lose if your life is already that worthless to you? Youve hit rock bottom, now go back UP!
-Kitten loves you! If you ever need to talk, just email me jaster749@yahoo.com
About 6 months ago, I had my mother's 9mm in my hands and and I wandered into the bathroom. I sat on the edge of the tub and stuck the barrel in my mouth. I had been thinking about how cowardly and pathetic I was, and how nobody would miss me because nobody cared. Sitting there, though, with that heavy-ass gun in my mouth, I realized that I had my whole life to make changes. I could move, become a different person, get a sex change, whatever. If I ended it here, there would be so many things I would never experience. I was cutting myself off short.
Give yourself the time you need. Change things around. Nobody is forcing you to stay. Make changes! What have you got to lose if your life is already that worthless to you? Youve hit rock bottom, now go back UP!
-Kitten loves you! If you ever need to talk, just email me jaster749@yahoo.com
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Psychotikitten
- Regular Poster
- Posts: 41
- Joined: Fri Jan 01, 1999 4:00 pm
Hey Angel -
Read your post about Pencil Dick. Remarkably similar to mine, actually:
About 6 months after they broke up, out of the blue I fell head over heels in love with my best friend's ex, who I will call...erm...Heartless Liar. I had never even looked at him before, or hung out with him...to this day I have no idea where that came from. However...he told me he loved me but never showed it or acted like it. I gave him my virginity and my heart and all my attention. I put Heartless Liar first in everything. In the last 6 months of a year and eight-month relationship, I became terribly depressed and did what I was talking about in my previous post. I finally talked to my mom about it, and I'm on Zoloft too now. What a freaking difference! I got control again, broke up with Heartless Liar (who is now back with my best friend, fucking her senseless. Annoyingly enough, I see him every day at school) and now I date a sweet boy twice my size (I'm 108 lbs, he's 220, and a foot taller than me) who treats me like the best thing since sliced bread and appreciates everything I do for him. He's fun and he brings out the best in me. I draw for him all the time. (I put the sketches in his lunch box and I call em fortune cookies!) Anyway...change is good, and I feel much better for it.
-Kitten
BTW, his furry nickname is Dancing Bear 'cuz he used to wrestle. Heh.
Read your post about Pencil Dick. Remarkably similar to mine, actually:
About 6 months after they broke up, out of the blue I fell head over heels in love with my best friend's ex, who I will call...erm...Heartless Liar. I had never even looked at him before, or hung out with him...to this day I have no idea where that came from. However...he told me he loved me but never showed it or acted like it. I gave him my virginity and my heart and all my attention. I put Heartless Liar first in everything. In the last 6 months of a year and eight-month relationship, I became terribly depressed and did what I was talking about in my previous post. I finally talked to my mom about it, and I'm on Zoloft too now. What a freaking difference! I got control again, broke up with Heartless Liar (who is now back with my best friend, fucking her senseless. Annoyingly enough, I see him every day at school) and now I date a sweet boy twice my size
(I'm 108 lbs, he's 220, and a foot taller than me) who treats me like the best thing since sliced bread and appreciates everything I do for him. He's fun and he brings out the best in me. I draw for him all the time. (I put the sketches in his lunch box and I call em fortune cookies!) Anyway...change is good, and I feel much better for it.-Kitten
BTW, his furry nickname is Dancing Bear 'cuz he used to wrestle. Heh.