Nonsense Contest!!!

Illusions abound · Post by **Illusions abound** » Thu May 31, 2001 10:27 am

Chris... ifIstartedaWraithcampaignwouldyouplaypleeeeeeeease?-me, trying to get Chris to play in a Wraith campaign I'm planning...

S.W.Winchester · Post by **S.W.Winchester** » Sun Jun 03, 2001 2:13 am

Directions : Point nozzle at technical problem and spray, holding down button until can is empty and Geek has formed. Geek will begin to solving problem and will not stop until solution has been devised. If grunting or rumbling noises issue forth from Geek, pour equal parts salt, sugar, starch and caffine into most availible orifice. Once problem has been solved, DO NOT ENTERTAIN GEEK. Geek will only leave when bored. Speak to Geek and you may as well prepare to have a houseguest for the next decade. -instructions on "Geek in a can", shown as a sunday strip of User Friendly.

Doodler · Post by **Doodler** » Mon Jun 04, 2001 6:35 am

"Wait...Mr Bus Driver, what do you think you're doing?? Why are you under my boyfriend's bus??? You better keep him safe, dammit!! You hear me??? Hey, I'M TALKING TO YOU!!!!!!!"-me, after seeing the bus driver inspecting Bus #1 just after pulling away Sunday night.

S.W.Winchester · Post by **S.W.Winchester** » Mon Jun 04, 2001 8:10 am

For more information, consult your Pineal Gland. -Common Discordian saying.

Spartacus · Post by **Spartacus** » Tue Jun 05, 2001 8:30 am

To me, fruit bats are dead-on sexy. I like to kiss hairy toes on warm nights. Of course, life is not complete with out a green hat. I spat spit so far it slpat.------------------
I was <A HREF="http://zapjones.keenspace.com" TARGET=_blank>Zap Jones</A> But now, I am Spartacus!!!

Jagged tooth grin · Post by **Jagged tooth grin** » Tue Jun 05, 2001 9:01 am

OOG
check out my site at deadlyangels.keenspace.com
IGguns dont kill people, bullets kill people.
guns just make bullets go really fast.charleton heston ( thats my bush)

S.W.Winchester · Post by **S.W.Winchester** » Tue Jun 05, 2001 10:52 am

Fnord?Fnord is evaporated herbal tea without the herbs.Fnord is that funny feeling you get when you reach for the
Snickers bar and come back holding a slurpee.Fnord is the 43 1/3rd state, next to Wyoming.
Fnord is this really, really tall mountain.
Fnord is the reason boxes of condoms carry twelve instead of ten. Fnord is the blue stripes in the road that never get painted.
Fnord is place where those socks vanish off to in the laundry.
Fnord is an arcade game like Pacman without the little dots.
Fnord is a little pufflike cloud you see at 5pm. Fnord is the tool the dentist uses on unruly patients.
Fnord is the blank paper that cassette labels are printed on.
Fnord is where the buses hide at night.
Fnord is the empty pages at the end of the book. Fnord is the screw that falls from the car for no reason.
Fnord is why Burger King uses paper instead of foam.
Fnord is the little green pebble in your shoe.
Fnord is the orange print in the yellow pages.
Fnord is a pickle without the bumps. Fnord is why ducks eat trees.
Fnord is toast without bread. Fnord is a venetian blind without the slats.
Fnord is the lint in the navel of the mites that eat
the lint in the navel of the mites that eat
the lint in Fnord's navel.Fnord is an apostrophe on drugs.
Fnord is the bucket where they keep the unused serifs for H*lvetica.
Fnord is the gunk that sticks to the inside of your car's fenders.
Fnord is the source of all the zero bits in your computer. Fnord is the echo of silence.
Fnord is the parsley on the plate of life.
Fnord is the sales tax on happiness.
Fnord is the preposition at the end of sixpence.Fnord is the feeling in your brain when you hold your breath too long.
Fnord is the reason latent homosexuals stay latent. Fnord is the donut hole.
Fnord is the whole donut. Fnord is an annoying series of email messages.
Fnord is the color only blind people can see.Fnord is the serial number on a box of
cereal. Fnord is the Universe with decreasing entropy.
Fnord is a naked woman with herpes simplex 428.
Fnord is the yin without yang.
Fnord is a pyrotumescent retrograde onyx obelisk.Fnord is why lisp has so many parentheses.
Fnord is the the four-leaf clover with a missing leaf. Fnord is double-jointed and has a cubic spline.
Fnord never sleeps.
Fnord is the "een" in baleen whale.Fnord is neither a particle nor a wave. Fnord is the space in between the pixels on your screen. Fnord is the guy that writes the Infiniti ads.
Fnord is the nut in peanut butter and jelly.
Fnord is an antebellum flagellum fella. Fnord is a sentient vacuum cleaner.Fnord is the smallest number greater than zero.
Fnord lives in the empty space above a decimal point.
Fnord is the odd-colored scale on a dragon's back.
Fnord is the redundant coin slot on arcade games.
Fnord was last seen in Omaha, Nebraska. Fnord is the founding father of the phrase "founding father".
Fnord is the last bit of sand you can't get out of your shoe.
Fnord is Jesus's speech advisor.
Fnord keeps a spare eyebrow in his pocket.
Fnord invented the green hubcap.
Fnord is why doctors ask you to cough.Fnord is the "ooo" in varooom of race cars.
Fnord uses two bathtubs at once.-Umm ... Fnord. <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspace.com/forums/smile.gif">(Dontcha just loooooove discordians?)

S.W.Winchester · Post by **S.W.Winchester** » Sun Jun 10, 2001 1:34 am

.... and The Satanists are still slightly closer to God than the Scientologists.-Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie, "The Proximity to God Index"[This message has been edited by S.W.Winchester (edited 06-10-2001).]

Squinky001 · Post by **Squinky001** » Sun Jun 10, 2001 2:07 am

"Mr. Squiggly-thing-on-the-back-of-your-head. You know, that doesn't have quite the ring to it that Mr. Diamond-on-the-back-of-your-head does."
-Me to Rob N.

Squinky001 · Post by **Squinky001** » Sun Jun 10, 2001 11:05 am

"We should all just break our legs in protest."
-Jeff K.

S.W.Winchester · Post by **S.W.Winchester** » Mon Jun 11, 2001 3:35 am

It's KOSHER. Yes, I said it's Kosher. It's made in Israel, after all ... HOW can you not love the fact that the Uzi is the only Kosher sub-machine gun used worldwide? Not to mention the ONLY thing made in Israel that an Islamic terrorist would use ...A friend of mine during a debate as to what the greatest submachine gun of all time was.[This message has been edited by S.W.Winchester (edited 06-11-2001).]

Squinky001 · Post by **Squinky001** » Mon Jun 11, 2001 4:29 am

"Could you draw a flowchart?"

Jagged tooth grin · Post by **Jagged tooth grin** » Tue Jun 12, 2001 3:39 am

oog yeah the uzi is cool so is the barret heavy sniper rifle
12.7 mm rounds 1.8 km range
oh and in the gulf war the sas used them to shoot down helicopters
w00tig
of all the things ive ever lost i miss my pants the most
i dont remeber who said it

S.W.Winchester · Post by **S.W.Winchester** » Tue Jun 12, 2001 3:52 am

Please put away your fingers from the trigger, except when you are ready to shooting at good target.-A Japanese manual with english warnings on mis-use of an airsoft rifle.

Squinky001 · Post by **Squinky001** » Tue Jun 12, 2001 4:04 am

"They stole me lucky charms!"
"You had lucky charms?"
"Naw."
"Then how did they take them?"
"Well... they've always been stealing them, so I could never have them."
"*pause* But wouldn't you have had to have them in the first place?"
"No, not nessicarily."
"...."

Fenmere · Post by **Fenmere** » Tue Jun 12, 2001 11:19 am

more hormones today
the Dada fish does tremble
wee dogs go blumpy

Jagged tooth grin · Post by **Jagged tooth grin** » Fri Jun 15, 2001 5:02 am

keep out of children
( instructions for korean kitchen knife)for inside or outside use only
( instructions for japanese fairy lights)

S.W.Winchester · Post by **S.W.Winchester** » Fri Jun 15, 2001 5:46 am

Ok. WHY is there a large, annoying, TALKING stuffed rat on my desk?-Me to a friend who also had no idea what a Taco Bell Dog was doing on my desk ... we STILL don't know how it got there.

Jagged tooth grin · Post by **Jagged tooth grin** » Sat Jun 16, 2001 2:23 am

well i have bad news
we are faceing an elite strike force known only as "project - monkeys with guns"
me in a as yet uncompleted comic
oog which by the way is deadlyangels.keenspace.com
ig

Squinky001 · Post by **Squinky001** » Sat Jun 16, 2001 6:14 am

"You have already been abducted by aliens. They took you to their homeworld, got you to star in their action movies and then made you a spokesperson for pesticides. Once your appeal wore off, they erased your memory and shipped you back to Earth."