A-ramboing

Doink · Post by **Doink** » Sat Mar 11, 2006 5:00 pm

Ever have one of those days?

Oh, let us go a-ramboing among the live grenades!
Yes, let us go a-ramboing all lively youths and maids!
With an uzi in the left hand, a machete in the right,
Oh, let us go a-ramboing out on the town tonight!

For all the ills that plague mankind there is a certain cure.
For neighbors rude and rowdy and for creeps sublime and sure.
For holier-than-thous and nasty children by the score,
There is one man who shows the way salvation is in store.

So let us go a-ramboing among the live grenades!
Yes, let us go a-ramboing all lively youths and maids!
With an uzi in the left hand, a machete in the right,
Oh, let us go a-ramboing out on the town tonight!

Your boss is full of fertilizer but he’s still the boss.
You therefore labor mightily to his gain and your loss.
He hassles and torments you, nags and plagues you day and night.
Take heart old pilgrim! There is hope! Redemption is in sight!

So let us go a-ramboing among the live grenades!
Yes, let us go a-ramboing all lively youths and maids!
With an uzi in the left hand, a machete in the right,
Oh, let us go a-ramboing out on the town tonight!

And as for politicians, well, need any more be said?
Their fingers all are in the till; their skulls are made of lead.
You’ll never vote the bastards out, for guess who runs the game?
And no use yelling for the law; the cops are just the same.

So let us go a-ramboing among the live grenades!
Yes, let us go a-ramboing all lively youths and maids!
With an uzi in the left hand, a machete in the right,
Oh, let us go a-ramboing out on the town tonight!

Your neighbor mows his lawn at 3 AM on Sunday morn,
And thanks to him you often wish that you were never born.
Especially when after hours on one too many brews
He alternates Miss Dolly P with polka tunes and blues.

So let us go a-ramboing among the live grenades!
Yes, let us go a ramboing all lively youths and maids!
With an uzi in the left hand, a machete in the right,
Oh, let us go a ramboing out on the town tonight!

Your neighbor’s children play at war on most unholy hours
And recreate Guadalcanal among your stumps and flowers.
They decorate your trees with tissue normally found on rolls
And excavate your driveway like so many little moles.

So let us go a-ramboing among the live grenades!
Yes let us go a-ramboing all lively youths and maids!
With an uzi in the left hand, a machete in the right,
Oh, let us go a ramboing out on the town tonight!

Your other neighbor has been saved and wants to save you too.
He’ll gladly tell you endlessly exactly what to do.
Just put your soul into his hands; you’ll go and sin no more.
Don’t drink or smoke or anything but be like him: a whore!

So let us go a-ramboing among the live grenades!
Yes, let us go a ramboing all lively youths and maids!
With an uzi in the left hand, a machete in the right,
Oh let us go a-ramboing out on the town tonight!

Sweet polite persuasion here will bring you no relief.
For those who yield to reason aren’t the kind who cause you grief.
So when you’ve had it up to here and fear you’ll grow unhinged,
It’s no more mister nice guy! Let’s go out and get revenge!

So let us go a-ramboing among the live grenades!
Oh, let us go a-ramboing all lively youths and maids!
With an uzi in the left hand, a machete in the right,
Oh, let us go a-ramboing out on the town tonight!

Yes there is a solution to the grafter bore and prude!
The idiot who bosses you, the neighbor brute and rude!
Just take up arms against the sea of troubles that toil and fuss!
What’s good enough for the new John Wayne is good enough for us!

So let us go a-ramboing among the live grenades!
Yes, let us go a-ramboing all lively youths and maids!
With an uzi in the left hand, a machete in the right,
Oh, let us go a-ramboing out on the town tonight!

Cyril_Dran · Post by **Cyril_Dran** » Sat Mar 11, 2006 11:29 pm

Cyril_Dran · Post by **Cyril_Dran** » Mon Mar 13, 2006 8:33 am

Blah. Now that I'm awake. Nice poem, but, no, I can't say I've ever felt that gleeful and homocidal at once.

Doink · Post by **Doink** » Mon Mar 13, 2006 12:50 pm

It's actually a song by Leslie Fish. I can send it to you if you want.

Cyril_Dran · Post by **Cyril_Dran** » Tue Mar 14, 2006 11:22 am

Hah, no, but thanks. I have very restricted music tastes as of late, mostly because I've lost the will to listen to most music. *Shrug*