Off-topic: snuggles needed

[Randyg]

I'm going to be offline for a while... my father (whom I was closer to than anyone else on the planet) passed away yesterday, without warning... I was talking to him just the day before, and he was fine and happier than he's been in a while (business doing great, bought a new truck, wanted me to help him purchase a laptop), then yesterday, my brother knocks on the door crying...

In any case, I've been crying all day now, and probably will be for a while... and I don't think I'm going to be online.

I'm not even sure I'm going to be alive... how can I live without him? We talked almost every day, worked on projects together, I could always call him when I needed advice or had questions... and now he's gone. I can't live completely alone. :(

--Randy

[Cinni]

I have never lost someone to whom I was that close.

But I feel for you still. Hold together, and remember people care about you.


Cinni

[The_Fox]

Merf. My condolences, Randy. I don't know what else to say sadly.

- Jarylan

[Alfador]

I honestly don't know what to say. *hugs* If there's anything I can do...anything at all...

[Micro_Fur]

So sorry to hear this Randy. I know how painful it can be to lose a close loved one. I lost my grandfather 3 months ago, I didn't get to see him often but I spoke to him at least twice a week. I don't know what else I can say to console you, but take comfort that your father won't have to face another harsh day in this often cruel world. My God be with you my friend, and please for the sake of your remaining family and your friends there and here, don't do anything rash, you would be sorely missed. You have my prayers, and may God grant you the strength to change that which you can, the serenity to accept that which you cannot, and the wisdom to differentiate the two.

Micro_fur - God bless everyone.

[Allan_ecker]

I... really don't know how to deal with death. It's just not something I've been good at handling, when it's happened to people I've known.

All I can say is that you've got to hang in there for the people around you, no matter how little you may think you matter to them, believe me, they'd miss you.

And, whether there's an afterlife or not, you're carrying around inside you a whole lot of who your father was, genetically, emotionally, intellectually. I'm not trying to comfort you by telling you part of him is still alive; I'm saying that you have to stay around because you dying would take the part of him that you've got with you.

I'm sorry, anything anyone who isn't feeling what you're feeling right now must seem pretty shallow. But we do care. And we're hoping for you. Good luck, friend. Good luck.

[Randyg]

I don't know what I'm doing... I've been crying almost all day... last time (I've been crying ever since), I was going through his truck, and found a present from him to me, that he'd been waiting until next time I saw him... and he never got the chance to give it to me. :(

I almost wrecked my car today when I saw his truck... I'd driven his truck here the night before, since it was parked in a high-crime downtown area... when I saw his truck in the driveway, I thought "oh good, he's here, so I can tell him we finished cleaning his van and give him his stuff", followed by immediately crying so badly I couldn't drive... :(

I just don't know what I'm doing... how can I live without the only person I ever talked to? Every time I had a problem, question, needed advice, needed someone to talk to, he was there for me... but all of a sudden he's gone. he was perfectly happy and healthy, and was happier with his life than I'd seen him in ages... everything was going great... it wasn't his time yet, he hadn't fulfilled his dreams, and was way too young. :(

Thanks for the kind words, and I really appreciate them, but I'm not sure they're going to help... I don't know if I can live without him, as I certainly can't live completely alone...

I'm going to cry in bed now; crying while typing really doesn't work...

--Randy

[Allan_ecker]

I think, for now, crying is all you can do. All you should do, really. Grieve, friend. We'll hope for you.

[Sylvain]

I know how you feel, randyg, and it may take a little while for the pain to subside. I lost my own father to cancer, and for weeks afterwards I would come home, look at his favourite chair and wonder why he was not sitting there as usual.

The best is to savour all the fond memories you have of him, so at least the good parts will stay alive in your mind and he will not be entirely gone.

[Candide]

Lots of virtual hugz & snugglez for you.

I don't know what you're going through, so I won't even pretend to. I'm beaming love & hope & solace to you as I type this.

[Andrick]

From what you've said about your father he has cared for you, listened to you, and given you wisdom you have found valuable without measure throughout your life. It sounds to me like he prepared you to answer this one question: what would your father have you do now?

You are only as alone as you make yourself. Talk to somebody, somebody there, about this. Keep in contact with your friends. It's okay to mourn. It's also okay for you to live your life. It may not sound right but do those things you planned to do prior to your dad's passing; every father I've known wanted their children to live, not die with them. But do find someone to talk to, Randy.

[Nyamaza]

Randy, you have my condolences, my prayers, and my shoulder to cry on and ear to talk to, anytime you need me.