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PostPosted: Sun Feb 06, 2005 5:51 am
by Allan_ecker
Fallwind wrote:Dear Volair:
whats the ohm and star on the back of your ear for?


Volair wrote:What? I don't get it.

The Masked Retriever wrote:Oh, THAT. See, that's supposed to be a "pain star" as one sees in comics like Bloom County. Sorry for the confusion.


maximuscoolman wrote:Heheh, got to love the voyager quote.


Awww, dammit. I thought that was an original gag.

PostPosted: Mon Feb 07, 2005 5:58 pm
by Alfador
Volair wrote:Implants:

I've got wires running all through my musculature that allow me to perform actions faster by bypassing the slow nural electrics. There's a nodule at the base of my neck that coordinates all the impulses to match up the "faster than nerve" wires with the slow stuff. You know how reflexes only go to the spinal column and back? Well, I can do conscious actions with the same (or greater) speed.

I have what players of the twentieth-century game "Shadowrun" might call a battle coprocessor as well. Essentially I only make top-level tactical decisions like "hide", "run", "fight", and it makes decisions my grey matter isn't fast enough for.

I've also got a few storage banks which act as "dumb" storage, but since my -head- controls what goes in I can use it to:
store the song stuck in my head in 32-bit sound
take photos and video at human optical resolution (GREAT for lecture notes and/or pornography)
and just generally remember stuff better than any organic being ought to. I can get it into a computer using USBW. (Universal Serial Bus Wireless)

All this fits in a package the size of a standard hand-held rubber eraser (thank you Moore), which has been implanted at the base of my skull near the back, just under my visual cortex for better video performance.

I have about forty feet of wire running around connecting my brain to all this, thankfully added with a noninvasive nanosurgery developed especially for this purpose.


O.O

I want. So...about what year can we expect all this to become generally available (and not, say, just for special agents or the super-mega-rich)?

PostPosted: Tue Feb 08, 2005 5:03 am
by Maximuscoolman
allan_ecker wrote:
maximuscoolman wrote:Heheh, got to love the voyager quote.


Awww, dammit. I thought that was an original gag.

Really? I didn't see it the first time I read it, but then I was watching voyager, and Q said to Janeway, "You are angry when you're beautiful" I realised it was in UH too.

PostPosted: Tue Feb 08, 2005 1:06 pm
by Randyg
Well, seeing as this thread turned to sex and porn remarkably quickly, I might as well join in. :)


*gives Saundra a shiny tech toy to take apart to keep her from hearing the question*

Future Volair: So, is Sandy any good with a strap-on? I'll figure you've tried at least once...


--Randy
(couldn't resist. sorry.)

PostPosted: Tue Feb 08, 2005 1:39 pm
by The_Fox
Dear Jake:

I wouldn't mind hearing more about your job, if you're of the mind to dicuss it. (Might seem rather boring to you as you do it everyday.) We've seen your difficulties in meeting Richard's friends, are there any friends of yours that he's...uhm...had trouble with? Been shocked, unnerved, etc? Not couting Volair and his past entanglements with the Good Doctor of course. (Or is that Doctor Feel-Good?) As a final question, is your panic gene still acting up? I would imagine if your father is any example that you might be having small spurts of it even unto your later years... Should probably avoid caffeine. Anyway, ta.

Devoted fan,
Jarylan

PostPosted: Tue Feb 08, 2005 4:46 pm
by Nyamaza
Dear Rick:

To try to save Volair from yet another slug in the gut/shoulder, mind giving us any details on your and hsi relationship? We know about you first meeting, and later when you finally "caught" him (dispite your only mad scheme at the time to make the horseshoe go PING against the nail), we got a hint that at least at one point, you two had somehow been lovers. Mind giving us any details?

PostPosted: Wed Feb 09, 2005 8:36 am
by Zavion
Santa:

Dear Santa. I want a pony this yea-.. wait a moment..

*looks up*

Questions for the cast? Damnit I've been tricked again.

OK. I have one for ol' Allen.

Allen:

Are any of your characters aware of your self or your presence. I mean, the actual you, not the Masked Retriever voice over that Saundra can hear. Do they ever argue with you, or tell you things like "I'd never do that, erase that" or "Of course I would do that, don't write me not doing it!"? Or are they confined to existance where you are beyond them? Just curious and thinking of Skynx and the author of 1/0.

PostPosted: Wed Feb 09, 2005 11:05 am
by Cyril_Dran
In an addendum to Zav's post.. My characters are very aware of my existence, and bitch me out on a roughly daily basis. Which makes me wonder if I'm just a good role player, or if this constitutes "Voices in my head"...

PostPosted: Thu Feb 10, 2005 12:38 am
by Nyamaza
Dear Saundra:

Being the resident keeper of the fourth wall, and somewhat as an addendum to Zavion's post... what do you (and any other the rest of the cast members aware of such things) think about us, your readers? Do you use your abilities to surf the forum where we discuss you guys? and on a more personal note, how do you feel about BEING a webcomic character? Does it feel a bit like, oh, being on a "reality" (term used VERY loosely) tv program?

PostPosted: Thu Feb 10, 2005 8:10 am
by Allan_ecker
randyg wrote:*gives Saundra a shiny tech toy to take apart to keep her from hearing the question*

Future Volair: So, is Sandy any good with a strap-on? I'll figure you've tried at least once...


--Randy
(couldn't resist. sorry.)


Future Volair wrote:I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incinerate me.

PostPosted: Thu Feb 10, 2005 8:21 am
by Allan_ecker
The_Fox wrote:Dear Jake:

I wouldn't mind hearing more about your job, if you're of the mind to dicuss it. (Might seem rather boring to you as you do it everyday.) We've seen your difficulties in meeting Richard's friends, are there any friends of yours that he's...uhm...had trouble with? Been shocked, unnerved, etc? Not couting Volair and his past entanglements with the Good Doctor of course. (Or is that Doctor Feel-Good?) As a final question, is your panic gene still acting up? I would imagine if your father is any example that you might be having small spurts of it even unto your later years... Should probably avoid caffeine. Anyway, ta.

Devoted fan,
Jarylan


Jake wrote:Eh. My job is basically network administration, although thankfully I'm not the poor SOB who has to walk around telling people to try putting the caps lock off before typing thier passwords. Basically I look at reports of network traffic, maintenance reccords, and such, and then write sets of instructions for system updates. Sometimes we get to put in some new cable or somesuch stuff, but usually I just write the same "stay the course" memo.

Rick had some trouble not blasting my old HS football teammates to smitherines as they were the sort of people who used to stuff his sort of people into lockers.

As for the old panic gene, it hasn't got a lot of use lately. Rick's been in need of a lot of comforting lately, and if there's one thing that makes it easy for me to get a grip on myself, it's the knowledge that Rick needs me.

Rick wrote:Aww, you're so sweet.

Jake wrote:No, you're so sweet.

Rick wrote:C'mere y--

The Masked Retriever wrote:WHOOP! Uh, we're out of, um, bandwidth for this question, so, uh... next?

PostPosted: Thu Feb 10, 2005 8:31 am
by Allan_ecker
Zavion wrote:Santa:

Dear Santa. I want a pony this yea-.. wait a moment..


Santa wrote:Well, seeing as how--

Wait. You're not a Doug Winger fan, are you?


Zavion wrote:OK. I have one for ol' Allen.

Allen:

Are any of your characters aware of your self or your presence. I mean, the actual you, not the Masked Retriever voice over that Saundra can hear. Do they ever argue with you, or tell you things like "I'd never do that, erase that" or "Of course I would do that, don't write me not doing it!"? Or are they confined to existance where you are beyond them? Just curious and thinking of Skynx and the author of 1/0.


The Masked Retriever wrote:The Fourth Wall has been broken by many, MANY others throughout history, and so there's a lot of other comics and other artworks that have done it. In my case, the Characters do indeed know the "real me", although for simplicity's sake they've agreed not to go toying with -that- distinction any time soon. The Extra-Fourth-Wall Perception of Umlaut House works basically like it does in Tiny Toons and Animaniacs. The characters are fully aware of the entire production process and often comment on it. Saundra will bitch at my writing, and on occasion even my artwork. The UHCD (STILL getting pushed back by deadlines, but I get my MS later this year so definitely not TOO long a wait...) will have an unused comic where Saundra actually blackmails the author by threatening to braid her hair in full view of the camera, thus forcing him to draw hair doing things -far- more complicated than he's prepared for.

PostPosted: Thu Feb 10, 2005 8:52 am
by Allan_ecker
Nyamaza wrote:Dear Saundra:

Being the resident keeper of the fourth wall, and somewhat as an addendum to Zavion's post... what do you (and any other the rest of the cast members aware of such things) think about us, your readers? Do you use your abilities to surf the forum where we discuss you guys? and on a more personal note, how do you feel about BEING a webcomic character? Does it feel a bit like, oh, being on a "reality" (term used VERY loosely) tv program?


Saundra wrote:Hmm.

Hoo boy. Here goes:

The entire cast is aware of the world outside the fourth wall. Generally, I'd say the cast is pleased to have an audience.

Being on a webcomic is more like being on a sitcom. Actually, if you've ever seen "Noises Off" you have some idea of the sort of shenanagans that go on between the two walls. Well, the cast gets along better, but you get the idea.


The Masked Retriever wrote:Yeah, generally speaking, a good fourth-wall-cracking episode of Tiny Toons is a really good look into the workings of the fourth wall in Umlaut House.

That's what I modled it after, any way. Ultimately, the hope was to give my characters the flexibility to break out of the story and correct things, especially if my own narrative excess got the better of me, as was the case with the Asteroid and Cal + Amy storylines.

PostPosted: Thu Feb 10, 2005 7:58 pm
by RandomScribe
*gives Allan a cookie for mentioning The Animaniacs and "Noises Off" in two consecutive posts* ^^

--RS

PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2005 10:12 am
by Allan_ecker
Any more questions? These are great fun to answer!

PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2005 11:23 am
by The_Fox
Dear Liz:

Were you already a member of the spyguild when you met Volair? (If so, they certaintly take you guys in young, not that either you were unskilled or immature, given what I do know.) Did you actively help recruit him, or is it a job you just sort of fell into? If you can tell us...who are you after now? I would suspect that you and Sapho have probably enjoyed all the revenge on Dr. Lyse that's healthy.

PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2005 11:26 am
by The_Fox
Oh, also...Shakal (Nyamaza) still has a letter to Rick that hasn't been answered. And I must admit some curiousity myself...how does a spy and a very notorious scientist like Dr. Hundecoph end up in bed together?

I hope it's not anything as bland as Volair pretending to be his lover to get information...

Edit: Though given the smile on Dr. Hundecoph's face when reminding Volair of their tryst, I highly doubt that could be it. Perhaps the Doctor seduced Volair for his own nefarious purporses? Or...his own non-nefarious purposes?

PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2005 12:01 pm
by Allan_ecker
The_Fox wrote:Dear Liz:

Were you already a member of the spyguild when you met Volair? (If so, they certaintly take you guys in young, not that either you were unskilled or immature, given what I do know.) Did you actively help recruit him, or is it a job you just sort of fell into? If you can tell us...who are you after now? I would suspect that you and Sapho have probably enjoyed all the revenge on Dr. Lyse that's healthy.


Liz wrote:I was a standard "Orphanage Recruit"; the SG prefers candidates with few attachments, for obvious reasons. The age thing is a function of trainability. It's a hell of a lot easier to teach a 14-year-old six languages than a 23-year-old.

Volair was picked because of several displays of severe idealism, a fairly useful trait for an organization hell-bent on repeatedly saving the world. I was assigned to "bring him into the fold", and the rest, as they say, is history.

As for my current status, I'm on sabbatical for a few months; that will probably end with me dashing out of some island resort with a ball of flame chasing me.

It's amazing what can become boring if it happens often enough.

PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2005 12:05 pm
by Allan_ecker
The_Fox wrote:Oh, also...Shakal (Nyamaza) still has a letter to Rick that hasn't been answered. And I must admit some curiousity myself...how does a spy and a very notorious scientist like Dr. Hundecoph end up in bed together?

I hope it's not anything as bland as Volair pretending to be his lover to get information...

Edit: Though given the smile on Dr. Hundecoph's face when reminding Volair of their tryst, I highly doubt that could be it. Perhaps the Doctor seduced Volair for his own nefarious purporses? Or...his own non-nefarious purposes?


Rick wrote:Well, replace "get information" with "provide a distraction", and add the caveat that "pretending" is a very, VERY blurrly line with that particular fruitbat, and you're roughly spot on.

Although, to be fair, I wasn't all -that- keen on filling Dublin in ultradense oatmeal...

PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2005 1:34 pm
by The_Fox
Dear Calvin and Amanda,

Soooo...whatever happened to Cal's bondage suit? =^.^=

- Jarylan, about to get decked by a mouse