Time Toaster.

Kieran
Regular Poster
Posts: 63
Joined: Thu Dec 25, 2003 2:19 pm

Time Toaster.

Post by Kieran »

I was going to start off with a reference to Red Dwarf.

Now that I have that out of the way I have to say that as I have been thinking about this strip the idea of a High Speed Toaster has become even more disturbing than the idea that said appliance is also a time machine.

Does it need to have the ability to open space time vortices in order to toast faster?

Is the toast merely camoflage?

And how many other seemingly innocent appliances in Saundra's house have lurking within them even stranger super science gadgets? (Probably quite a few.)

And perhaps most disturbing of all, high speed toast. The mind boggles :o

Oddly enough I remember reading a story sometime in the 80s (I think it was in Analog) that also involved time machines being used as kitchen appliances. Of course in that case the thng was SUPPOSED to be a time-machine...
Mad Scientist. Generally quite seriously Miffed Engineer.

Randyg
Regular Poster
Posts: 259
Joined: Mon May 26, 2003 4:57 pm
Location: California, USA

Post by Randyg »

Would you like some toast?
How about some crumpets?
Waffles maybe?
So you're the toasted teacake kind!
Ok, ok.. how about a lime flavored space-time vortex instead?



--Randy

Randyg
Regular Poster
Posts: 259
Joined: Mon May 26, 2003 4:57 pm
Location: California, USA

Post by Randyg »

Of course, we also have to remember a Simpsons halloween episode on a similar subject... "I wish, I wish, I hadn't killed that fish."



--Randy

User avatar
Nyamaza
Regular Poster
Posts: 572
Joined: Mon Apr 15, 2002 4:00 pm

Post by Nyamaza »

*gets out a snare drum and starts tapping out a simple rythem on it"
All around the country and the coast
*tap tap tap tappity tap tap tap*
People always say "what do you like most?"
*tap tap tap tappity tap tap tap*
I don-wanna to brag, I don-wanna boast...
*tap tap tap tappity tap tap tap*
I always tell em, "I like toast"
*tap tap tap tappity tap tap tap*
*tap tap tap tappity tap tap tap*
YEAH TOAST!
Rick/Jake Shipper #00082
Nyamaza/Volair Shipper #00001

Furry Code : FFL3cfmrs A C- D H+++ M+ P+++ R+ T++++ W Z Sm++ RLCT/ET a cln++++ d? e+$ f+ h++ iwf++ j+ p- sm+

User avatar
Cyril_Dran
Regular Poster
Posts: 361
Joined: Tue Feb 03, 2004 5:40 pm
Location: Baltimore, MD
Contact:

Post by Cyril_Dran »

Which makes me wonder.. did Saundra build Leonard, the talking TV, or did he just evolve or something.

I wasn't surprised by the toaster comment as much as I might have been.. maybe if Saundra hadn't thrown herself into an alternate universe with a few wires...
All fear the RP character from the completely private RP ^_^.
Current psuedonym/RP character count: 25
-Adding a touch of sanity, or insanity, where needed to balance the flow. .... Nah, I just like playing devil's advocate ^_^

User avatar
Allan_ecker
Cartoon Hero
Posts: 2706
Joined: Fri Jan 01, 1999 4:00 pm
Location: Portland, OR, USA
Contact:

Post by Allan_ecker »

The basic idea is that Saundra is actually much smarter than she knows. She putters, but she always assumes "everyone's thought of -this- already" and because she never thinks of things in the "right language", her academic work is years, perhaps decades behind her home gadgetry.

Saundra tried to use a couple of old gravity foils to "juice up" the toasting process without burning it; she figured she could push the heat through faster by making the bread locally less "massive", but she didn't realize that she was actually -pushing- the bread slightly backward in time.

Now, to do this joke, I'm actually playing a little hard and fast with the concept of universes having "time travel virginity", but it's a funny strip (in my estimation) and I'm a-keepin' it.
<A HREF="http://umlauthouse.comicgenesis.com" TARGET=_blank>UH2: The Mayhem of a New Generation</A>

"Death and taxes are unsolved engineering problems."
--Romano Machado

User avatar
Alfador
Cartoon Hero
Posts: 1208
Joined: Fri Jan 01, 1999 4:00 pm
Location: Washington, USA
Contact:

Post by Alfador »

allan_ecker wrote:The basic idea is that Saundra is actually much smarter than she knows. She putters, but she always assumes "everyone's thought of -this- already" and because she never thinks of things in the "right language", her academic work is years, perhaps decades behind her home gadgetry.

Saundra tried to use a couple of old gravity foils to "juice up" the toasting process without burning it; she figured she could push the heat through faster by making the bread locally less "massive", but she didn't realize that she was actually -pushing- the bread slightly backward in time.

Now, to do this joke, I'm actually playing a little hard and fast with the concept of universes having "time travel virginity", but it's a funny strip (in my estimation) and I'm a-keepin' it.
So, basically, Saundra has the furry version of the GPF "inventor's gene." Only she doesn't know about it. Which makes it all the cooler.
Three-tailed fox, in the house--Fox Den, that is!
Rick/Jake Shipper #00017

Kieran
Regular Poster
Posts: 63
Joined: Thu Dec 25, 2003 2:19 pm

Post by Kieran »

Hmm,

It does use space time distortion to toast faster!

I am not sure you need to cncern yourself overmuch with the necessity for time travel virginity unless I mesread you.

It seems perfectly reasonable to me that the presence of one consistent, or at least frequent, distortion in the fabric of space time (50-50 space time blend I presume, long wearing and easy to clean) would be something of a beacon to others. Making Saundra's toaster easier to home in on for other time travelers.
Mad Scientist. Generally quite seriously Miffed Engineer.

User avatar
Allan_ecker
Cartoon Hero
Posts: 2706
Joined: Fri Jan 01, 1999 4:00 pm
Location: Portland, OR, USA
Contact:

Post by Allan_ecker »

Ah, let's elaborate on the topic of "time-travel virginity".

One form of time travel which avoids many (but not all) of the pitfalls of time travel is the Delayed Spacewarp. Simply put, you get a spacewarp, then expose it to relativistic velocities for a goodly bit, and you've turned your spacewarp into a timewarp. If this is the only form of time travel, then the -only- time travel that is possible is to and from times -after- the creation of time travel.

It seems reasonable that, in a universe like this, you'd discover time travel, then -poof- the Time Council arrives, congratulates you, throws a little party, then starts imposing rules, regulations, etcetera etcetera etcetera.

Or, if you're Saundra, you get innundated by time tourists set on seeing your ex boyfriend's gay wedding.
<A HREF="http://umlauthouse.comicgenesis.com" TARGET=_blank>UH2: The Mayhem of a New Generation</A>

"Death and taxes are unsolved engineering problems."
--Romano Machado

User avatar
RandomScribe
Regular Poster
Posts: 260
Joined: Sun May 04, 2003 3:06 pm
Contact:

Post by RandomScribe »

Looks like elder-Saundra has about the same attitude towards time travel as Volair...

Hm. Y'know, I could use this bootstrap thing to my advantage... in twenty years, I could go back in time and give myself a million dollars out of what I earned by investing the million dollars I was given twenty years ago. And of course I'd know what to invest in. ^^

--RS (Of course, if that doesn't have the Time Council coming after me, I don't know what will... >.> )

User avatar
Allan_ecker
Cartoon Hero
Posts: 2706
Joined: Fri Jan 01, 1999 4:00 pm
Location: Portland, OR, USA
Contact:

Post by Allan_ecker »

Robert Forward did some research into this topic for his book Timemaster (which is basically a treatise insisting that time travel is at least logically possible), and found that if everyone knows what all the stocks are going to be, the result is that -speculation- stops being valid, that is, a company now can only have a stock price relating to its actual worth by a more or less fixed amount.

The stock investment trick is very boring in this interpretation.
<A HREF="http://umlauthouse.comicgenesis.com" TARGET=_blank>UH2: The Mayhem of a New Generation</A>

"Death and taxes are unsolved engineering problems."
--Romano Machado

User avatar
Cyril_Dran
Regular Poster
Posts: 361
Joined: Tue Feb 03, 2004 5:40 pm
Location: Baltimore, MD
Contact:

Post by Cyril_Dran »

"Not really" Saundra says, as time degrades into a swirling vortex of random numbers that are all multiples of pi for no reason....

My sense of humor is in a weird mood today, forgive me.

Still, isn't Saundra just the least bit periously unconcerned about possibly creating a time loop that could eventually throw the universe into chaos.
All fear the RP character from the completely private RP ^_^.
Current psuedonym/RP character count: 25
-Adding a touch of sanity, or insanity, where needed to balance the flow. .... Nah, I just like playing devil's advocate ^_^

User avatar
RandomScribe
Regular Poster
Posts: 260
Joined: Sun May 04, 2003 3:06 pm
Contact:

Post by RandomScribe »

allan_ecker wrote:Robert Forward did some research into this topic for his book Timemaster (which is basically a treatise insisting that time travel is at least logically possible), and found that if everyone knows what all the stocks are going to be, the result is that -speculation- stops being valid, that is, a company now can only have a stock price relating to its actual worth by a more or less fixed amount.

The stock investment trick is very boring in this interpretation.
Well, it's not like I'd tell anyone else what to invest in... ^^;

But yeah... that's a good point. >.< Never mind!

--RS

Kieran
Regular Poster
Posts: 63
Joined: Thu Dec 25, 2003 2:19 pm

Post by Kieran »

allan_ecker wrote:Or, if you're Saundra, you get innundated by time tourists set on seeing your ex boyfriend's gay wedding.
Much more entertaining than the "Time Police" showing up. 8)

To step aside a little and risk getting too serious one of the things I most love about UH after the characters, is the fact that you have managed to maintain a consistently upbeat tone, even when dealing with serious issues. There's no painfully angsty moaning, no (failed) attempts to set a serious mature tone. And because of that, UH is actually a far more mature work than it would otherwise be.

It's very easy to appear callow by trying to set a "mature" tone and failing. UH has achieved the much harder goal of demonstrating a mature wisdom in its light heartedness. You have drama without angst, and humor that can be wacky without being degrading. Bravo!

//End serious tone//

As for the investment issue, financial markets are pretty complex feedback systems. And while we don't really understand them well enough to make anything more than broad predictions, we do know that like any feedback system a new factor will only preturb the system temporarily until a new point of dynamic equilibrium is found. So even time travel would only ever be useful as a temporary advantage. More's the pity :roll:
Mad Scientist. Generally quite seriously Miffed Engineer.

User avatar
RandomScribe
Regular Poster
Posts: 260
Joined: Sun May 04, 2003 3:06 pm
Contact:

Post by RandomScribe »

Does the phrase "temporary advantage" even retain any meaning in the context of time travel? :P

Maybe it does, but I'm too sick right now to think very hard about it... >.>

And yeah, ditto on UH maintaining a consistent tone and everything. ^^

--RandomScribe, coughing

User avatar
Allan_ecker
Cartoon Hero
Posts: 2706
Joined: Fri Jan 01, 1999 4:00 pm
Location: Portland, OR, USA
Contact:

Post by Allan_ecker »

Benoit Mandelbrot (yes, the same Mandelbrot who got the world's most famous fractal named after him) theorized that the reason markets behave fractally is that information moves stochastically; that is, it arrives in both large and small quanta at nondeterminalistic intervals. Since information is flowing in a fractal pattern, so do the prices.

But if all the information was there already, as it were, the flow of information would cease to be fractal, and so would the markets. Post-time-travel markets look like smooth exponentials. Bizarre, no?

Mandelbrot, by the way, deserves getting Z=Z^2+C named after him; he essentially -invented- fractal theory. He published a mathematics paper entitled "How Long is the Coast of Britain" which shook the math world to its very foundations with horrific revelations such as the idea that pictures could still be of use to serious mathematicians and that sometimes it's okay to study sets of information that don't reduce down to neat, clean formulas. It is because of him that we have fractal analysis, which is arguably the most important mathematical advance of this century.
<A HREF="http://umlauthouse.comicgenesis.com" TARGET=_blank>UH2: The Mayhem of a New Generation</A>

"Death and taxes are unsolved engineering problems."
--Romano Machado

User avatar
Kesh
Regular Poster
Posts: 220
Joined: Wed Oct 16, 2002 7:52 pm
Location: Kentucky, USA
Contact:

Post by Kesh »

Strangely enough, I have a better grasp of string theory than I do fractals. Which isn't saying much.

User avatar
Allan_ecker
Cartoon Hero
Posts: 2706
Joined: Fri Jan 01, 1999 4:00 pm
Location: Portland, OR, USA
Contact:

Post by Allan_ecker »

Fractals are pretty easy, really. Just think of something with the same complexity on all scales. Here's an easy one, called the "serpinski gasket":

Traw an equilateral triangle.

Divide it up into four new equilateral triangles.

Fill the center one black.

Divide remaining unfilled triangles similarly, coloring the centers black as you go.

Repeat. Forever. (Or, if this is real life, until your medium runs out of resolution.)

Some mathematical properties of fractals are hard to deal with, but for the most part they're fairly straight foreward:

Apply simple rules, end up with something that is not at all simple.

Rules for generating the mandelbrot set:

Divide the complex plane into pixels.

Each pixel's y coordinate corresponds to the imaginary component of a number, and the x coordinate is the real part. (The imaginary part of a number is the part which must be multiplied by the square root of negative one to get the "actual" number.)

Select a pixel. It's real and imaginary parts are its x and y coordinates, respectively. We'll call this number "C".

Calculate "Z sub 1", equal to: C+Zo^2, where Zo is just C.

If this result meets the criterion (x^2 + y^2)>2, color this pixel white.
If not, calculate "Z sub 2", equal to C+Z1^2, and check it.

Repeat for, oh, a hundred times or so. If it never meets the criterion, color it black.

Now do another pixel.

That's all there is to it. And this figure is infinitely complex. You can add some excitement to the picture by giving places different colors depending on how many repetitions were needed to pass the criterion. This generates most of the "pretty" fractals you see on boxtops, album covers, etcetera. Seriously.

All you programmers out there can now pull out your complex analysis books and write some programs to draw this mofo. Everyone else, check out Fractint, the oldest and best free fractal generator.

http://spanky.triumf.ca/www/fractint/getting.html
<A HREF="http://umlauthouse.comicgenesis.com" TARGET=_blank>UH2: The Mayhem of a New Generation</A>

"Death and taxes are unsolved engineering problems."
--Romano Machado

User avatar
RandomScribe
Regular Poster
Posts: 260
Joined: Sun May 04, 2003 3:06 pm
Contact:

Post by RandomScribe »

Whoa...

I've always understood the Serpinski gasket and such, but that's the first time an explanation of the Mandelbrot fractal has made sense to me... Yay! *hugs Allan* So yes, fractals are great... Of course, I just like math that can be made to look pretty, so... yeah. ^^

--RS

User avatar
Allan_ecker
Cartoon Hero
Posts: 2706
Joined: Fri Jan 01, 1999 4:00 pm
Location: Portland, OR, USA
Contact:

Post by Allan_ecker »

Mandelbrot has in his office a paper printout on the old dot-matrix holes-on-the-edges kind of paper where asterisks and whitespace have been used to display the M-set for the first time in human history. If I ever start a religion, that gets to be one of the holy relics. :)
<A HREF="http://umlauthouse.comicgenesis.com" TARGET=_blank>UH2: The Mayhem of a New Generation</A>

"Death and taxes are unsolved engineering problems."
--Romano Machado

Post Reply