Things that have to be said.

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Zulu Amoz
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Things that have to be said.

Post by Zulu Amoz »

Hi, sorry for the long inbetweens but internet is spotty, and my computer, though upgraded is right now not connected.

I need to say some things publically, because Eric says I should be able to trust you people. Forgive me if my words are hard to understand, or if it doesn't sound like I trust people... it's not your fault as you will see later...

First off I'm in love with a very special man. His name is Eric Funk, and he's very dear to my heart. I am going to marry him in little under 4 months now, if everything goes as planned, and I need prayer that my past problems will go away and leave me alone.

I've been having plenty of nightmares, about things and people from my past making this marriage not work. This is not helping the situation we're in, and in fact it's making our relationship deteriorate.

Neither of us have found work yet. The whole thing is so up in the air, that I'm beginning to suspect that we'll never get out on our own again...

In two weeks or so, someone from my past will be in Winnipeg (someone I don't want to see due to painful reasons). This person has caused me to loose all trust in people, making me suspicious of everyone. He violated my trust, and violated me. (this is a very hard paragraph to write)... He's also made it very hard for me, to write, to draw and he also made me suspect my own Fiance of not telling the truth to me. I do not feel safe with him around... He has also threatened the safety of my family and on some occasions he's threatened to hurt me further... My mother has made it very clear that I am not to be in the city or anywhere near him when he comes to town... However, since I don't know when that will be for certain, I don't feel safe at all...

Please pray for me and for Eric during this trying time. Honey if you're reading this, know that I love you, and I'm sorry for all the pain this has caused you.

Thank you...
Ilona (a.k.a. Zulu)
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Post by Ironpaw »


Ouch Illona. That's tough, really. I'll pray for you, of course, and you know I have been. I also want to say, I totally sympathize and know exactly how you feel. My suggestion is keep alert, if you're worried, lock your doors and have your friends and family check on you often. If you're THAT worried, perhaps looking into a restraining order of some sort? As far as you and Eric go... Oi. I know things can get rocky, and outlooks can look bleak, but you have the one thing that matters in your relationship, and that is God. As long as you don't turn your back on that, things may change and ebb and flow with life, but you'll always have the love and committment that is needed, because it won't come from you. Just don't allow yourself to give into the depressive doubts that satan lies to us with. Healthy caution is always good, but the temptation you are fighting is to NOT trust God. Trust Him to take care of you, guide you, trust Him that you are meant to be together.

As far as the future? Seek God with all your heart. Keeping his eyes on Christ, Peter stepped out onto the raging ocean and walked upon the water, until he gave into the temptation to fear, gave into the temptation to be at the mercy of the world around him and began to sink into it. But again, Christ reached out and saved him. But maybe if he hadn't have feared, we wouldn't have gotten cold and wet. ; )

I'll pray for you guys though. If you need anything, you can always at least TRY to get ahold of me, I know I'm rather hard to track down at times, but i'll try and be there for ya.

God bless you both.


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W.M.Y.L.G. Joe
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Post by W.M.Y.L.G. Joe »

*nods* You'll both be in my prayers.
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Post by ZOMBIE USER 7262 »

*hugs* Add one more voice to those who wish you happiness.

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Post by Crash »

*nods in agreement with Devon* Well said!

I'm praying for both of you, too, Illona. Keep faith, and ask God to help you trust him and Eric... I know it's hard to give up suspicions and doubts, 'cause you get used to using them to protect yourself... but at some point, they become a blockage, and prevent you from loving God and the people you need to love...

And thanks for trusting us... *hugs* That means a lot to me, and I'm sure to everyone else here.
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Post by ZOMBIE USER 10925 »

Thanks for the prayers guys!

This is a sensitive subject all around.... this guy used to be my best friend, he was closer than my brother... that's what let him get close... and only Ilona's father saw through his fa

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Post by Rowan Bristol »

There is no shadow
that may not be overcome
by our love and prayer
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Post by ZOMBIE USER 10915 »

That's a tough situation. :cry:

I don't have any advise that hasn't already been offered so just know that your being thought of and be careful! :D