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Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2001 9:41 am
by Rcawley8
Uhhh, do you want our opinions or are you just venting?
Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2001 11:29 am
by CCQdobhran
Sure, there may be societal pressure from peers, "Oh, I can see myself with X, and having 3 kids." or "X is so hot!" and from parents "Any _______friends?" "When are you getting married?" "When can I expect grandchildren?" yadda, yadda, yadda. Questions are:,
1.how important is it really, to be _with_ someone?
2.Do you feel Ciaran and Apollo will fall into a pit of "I'm no good" depression, or will they decide that bachelorhood isn't all that bad?
Part B:
Living with someone you love, and could see yourself with before you are married is:
A: Bad, it leads to temptation and sin. You shouldn't be together before you are married.
B: Good, it's better and less stressful for all concerned if you find out that you can't live together before you get married.
Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2001 12:33 pm
by TwoDifferentSox
<p>[This message has been edited by TwoDifferentSox (edited 12-27-2001).]
Posted: Fri Dec 28, 2001 9:59 am
by Rico Underwood
1. 'with someone' as in what sense?<P>2. *shrug* Frankly I just wanna wait and see where it goes. Though bachleorhood does wear on you after awhile. <P>If Ciaran thinks think I do (which so far seems to be accurate) then he's gonna try to lean on Xe for support. If/when that fails (i.e. Xe's to busy pining for Twap) then he'll fall into that pit of depression. The same pit I'm trying to crawl out of. I just hope he doesn't hit me on the way down... *half-hearted attempt at a laugh*<P>
Posted: Mon Dec 31, 2001 3:31 am
by CCQdobhran
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by rcawley8:
<B>Uhhh, do you want our opinions or are you just venting?</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>No no. No venting, I am looking for opinions.
Posted: Mon Dec 31, 2001 3:34 am
by CCQdobhran
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Rico Underwood:
<B>1. 'with someone' as in what sense?</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Well, I'm leaving that sense open. Could be, went out on a group date once, could be you've been living with them for five years, but have yet to be married, or any state inbetween.<P>
Posted: Mon Dec 31, 2001 10:01 am
by Rico Underwood
I prefer my friends over a g/f. They're more loyal.
Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2002 9:15 am
by Rico Underwood
PDA in my way. <IMG SRC="
http://www.keenspace.com/forums/tongue.gif"><P>Bah, with how much the others are playing kissy face? I say Keer and Apollo should pretend to hook up with each other. bwah ha, THAT'D stop 'em.

Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2002 9:35 am
by Rcawley8
ah, very well. The question you ask is a difficult one. Ultimately, I feel, it is up to you if you want to be with anyone. The societial pressures you speak of are stronger than you indicate. When you start to see your friends get married then it is a stronger pressure than them talking about it. There is, I suspect, a strong biological urge to be with some one as well, but that is merely speculation with no facts that I know to back it up.
It is unlikely that ciaran and apollo with fall into depression, the human (err... You get what I'm saying) is quite resiliant. Unless they already had a predilection for depression already.
I believe that living with someone you believe you love is good for variety of reasons. Dont forget there used to be "handfastings" which were a form of trial marriages that were preformed by priests.
Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2002 2:41 am
by Gloria
*glances at Devon*
Erm, yes... That idea HAS been suggested already.. <P>However, I don't believe it's wise for people to live together before marriage, because, even if they were never tempted to do anything, and even if they genuinely didn't CARE what other people think of them, they're still missing out on the full benefits of being married. It's been proven that people who are married feel more secure and fulfilled than even people who are living together outside of marriage. So, as far as I'm concerned, if you've known a person long enough and well enough to consider marrying them, yet there's a significant enough doubt as to whether you'd get along with them if you were living together, maybe you need to reconsider the relationship and how much you REALLY love that person. <P>Yeah. Not like I'm a big expert, anyway, but I'm just going by the things I have come to believe and understand.
Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2002 9:08 am
by Rcawley8
Gloria said....
It's been proven that people who are married feel more secure and fulfilled than even people who are living together outside of marriage.<P>What proof? Whose? All of the books and psych classes I've taken have in fact indicated quite the oppisite. Even my past experiences say different.<P>Gloria said...
So, as far as I'm concerned, if you've known a person long enough and well enough to consider marrying them, yet there's a significant enough doubt as to whether you'd get along with them if you were living together, maybe you need to reconsider the relationship and how much you REALLY love that person<P>i am not trying to pick on you Gloria, but I sincerly disagree. Now I am not trying to flame or anything like that but the fact is you DONT know ANYTHING about a person until you live with them. There is ALWAYS going to be doubt, that cant be avoided. <P>Uh I would continue but Anillennium distracted me on IM, I totally lost my train of thought. Let me reiterate. I am not attacking you Gloria but I disagree.
Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2002 10:22 am
by Iceberg11
well look at it from more of a male tiger point of view...i'm better off alone...the only problem with that is the price of living in society is that in order to have my own place i have to live with someone untill i can afford one for myself....-_-;
Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2002 10:34 am
by Anillennium
*pokes Rcawley and snickers*
hehehe. I got you started on a different debate :-p . hehe.<P>btw, my brother and his girlfriend live together in an apartment over by the capital. she goes to college and works part-time, my bro work full-time. they're realizing how hard real life is, but they're still together and happy. so *shrug*<P>*edited* i'm sorry its almot 2 am and i'm VERY tired and errorous with my spelling.<p>[This message has been edited by Anillennium (edited 01-03-2002).]
Posted: Fri Jan 04, 2002 4:37 am
by CCQdobhran
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by rcawley8:
<B>Gloria said....
It's been proven that people who are married feel more secure and fulfilled than even people who are living together outside of marriage.<P>What proof? Whose? All of the books and psych classes I've taken have in fact indicated quite the oppisite. Even my past experiences say different.<P></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P> And what, may I ask, if any, is the main mitigating factor in this security in marriage?<P>
Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2002 10:43 am
by Rcawley8
Uhh thats not me, Gloria's the one who is Pro-marrriage. I am pro-living-with-each-other-as-to-get-to-know-each-other-ishness, thing.