um...

[Tek Roo]

Ooh! Is it spicy? I love spicy food.

Actually, the reference to flaming is one of conflagration. Posting that particular recipe is actually more of a threat than an offer -- it's my scariest recipe, and can raise your cholesterol lever just reading it.

For spicy, you would definitely be wanting some of my world-famous Kung Pao Chicken. I recently upgraded my status to "The Only Authentic Szechwan Chef in Britain" after an unsuccessful search of London. If anyone would like to challenge me, I'll just let them take the title from me and I'll just eat.

[W.M.Y.L.G. Joe]

Cholesterol? Bah! I can handle cholesterol. I'm a skinny little freak.

[Lily]

I'm a skinny little freak

ROCK ON!!! Skinny little freaks of the world unite!!!!

[Tek Roo]

Cholesterol? Bah! I can handle cholesterol. I'm a skinny little freak.

Okay, if you insist. Though it is an artform, and requires a bit of work. I don't want to pollute Gloria's forum with the step-by-step photographic assembly instructions, and I was going to save those for someone else's board anyway. I'll let you know when the full version appears and where it can be found.

First, you will need four pieces of streaky bacon. Fry them up in a skillet as usual, eat two of them and put the other two aside. Keep the grease in the skillet.

Next, you are going to need three pieces of toast. Cut a hole in one of them. Place the piece of toast that has the hole in it in the greasy skillet. What? The toast is going to absorb the grease?? I hope so! Place the two remaining pieces of bacon on either side of the hole in the toast. Next, crack an egg and dump the contents onto the toast such that the yolk lands in the hole and the whites overlap the bacon.

After a reasonable amount of time (long enough to cook the small amount of egg protruding from the bottom of the toast), flip the toast/egg/bacon over and cook the egg on the other side. Once the whites are cooked to your liking, flip the assembly over again, place a slice of processed cheese on top and then remove from pan.

While you are doing the above (with luck, you have been reading ahead), put a significant amount of peanut butter on one of the remaining pieces of toast, and salad cream (Miracle Whip) on the other. Slice up some tomatoes, lettuce and avocado. Alfalfa sprouts add a bit of irony too, but are not necessary.

Place the tomatoes and lettuce on the peanut-buttered toast, followed by the greasy/eggy/cheesy/bacony toast, then the avocado slices then the last piece of toast, similar to what you see below.



Totally optional and not actually recommended for health and safety reasons, dip a crouton in some high proof rum, place atop the sandwich, and set on fire.

And there you have it! Ummm.......well, you did ask for it!

Bon apetite!

[W.M.Y.L.G. Joe]

Hmmm, minus the avocadoes, tomatoes, and miracle whip, it sounds DELISH! The only other thing I may modify is soaking the toast in the grease. I may be pretty fit, but heck, I don't wanna heart attack when I'm 20...

[Ironpaw]

*drools prolifically* Oh my GOSH that sounds SO bloody DELICIOUS! I wish I had the bread/bacon/eggs/miracle whip/peanut butter/etcetc to try it, I really do! Would you care to post MORE of these unique recipies if you have em Tek? Oh, and a side note, for years, I ate peanut butter/miracle whip sammiches regulary. Sometimes grilled, sometimes not. They were good, but bloody fattening.

[ZOMBIE USER 10925]

Comparing to what I've made myself, it looks somewhat like a cross of "egg in a nest", french toast, and my full contact fried "grilled cheese sandwich".
Similar to those, except no holds barred. :)

wierd sandwiches? I used to eat peanut butter (100% natural, ultra-crunchy), pickle, and cheeze whiz on raisin bread.


food for thought and mind
starves heart and palate alike
can be hard to chew

[Crash]

Well, that certainly beats my favorite lunchtime recipie, honed over months of eating on job sites:

You'll need a can of Campbell's Soup (with pull-tab top-- no can opener needed, Devon), one spoon, one leather glove, and one propane torch (preferably one with trigger ignition).
Remove label, crack lid of can and suspend can by the pull tab.
Using the propane torch, heat can evenly for five minutes.
Hold can with gloved hand, remove lid, grab spoon, and dig in.

Best part is, only one spoon to wash up at the end of the day!
(Some guys go one step farther and use a plastic spoon: No cleanup.)

[Ironpaw]

For years I'd take a can of Chunky chicken broccoli and cheese soup and drink it cold out of the can. It was yummy.

[MongooseQuarrel]

mmm..yummy-sounding sam'ich....*grin* but I got a better one!
Ye take some french-bready bread (the long, fresh baked kind-warmer, the better), cut it some how..length or width. If you can stop your self from spooning out the soft inside an' eatin' that, cut up a bannanna, nice 'n' thin, then put 'em on the bread, take a bag of marshmallows (jet puffed...mmmm) an' make 'em smaller, put those on the bannannas. Then, take a jar of warm (ie, not refrig-ed) pickes an' cut those, puttin' 'em over the marshmallows... stick the two sides togeather an' eat it!..I think it'd taste good dipped in hot cocoa..haven't had the supplies ta try that though....^^...I want toast...- -p

[CCQdobhran]

I'd say we're ready to try our paws at being the next Iron Chef!

[Ironpaw]

Hmm... soup cooked in a can? Peanut butter and mayo? Bannana marshmellow and pickle sammich? Something tells me we'd all be kicked out of kitchen stadium and have our necks spliced by a katana.
On the other hand:

"And the main ingredient will be.... (wait for it) MIRACLE WHIP! Oh no! What will Iron Chef Chinese do?!"

*snickers*

[Rowan Bristol]

For years I'd take a can of Chunky chicken broccoli and cheese soup and drink it cold out of the can. It was yummy.

For simple dinners
Mix Rice, Cream of chicken soup
Into thick porridge

[Zulu Amoz]

For simple dinners
Mix Rice, Cream of chicken soup
Into thick porridge

That sounds about as gross as what Eric makes sometimes. Just crack an egg in chicken noodle soup, and then microwave until it turns into a paste.

[Tek Roo]

Hmmm, minus the avocadoes, tomatoes and miracle whip, it sounds DELISH! The only other thing I may modify is soaking the toast in the grease. I may be pretty fit, but heck, I don't wanna heart attack when I'm 20...

Sheesh! What the heck fun is there in that? You may as well have a...ummm......toast, egg, peanutbutter, bacon and lettuce sandwich! You lack adventure Joe! You disappoint me!

Of course, I do have a genetic predisposition towards low cholesterol levels, and even got a smiley-face on the cholesterol report for my last physical!

If only they'd known.....

*drools prolifically* Oh my GOSH that sounds SO bloody DELICIOUS! I wish I had the bread/bacon/eggs/miracle whip/peanut butter/etcetc to try it, I really do! Would you care to post MORE of these unique recipies if you have em Tek?

I think that can be arranged! Sounds like Gloria told you about the Kung Pao Chicken recipe I mentioned on AIM. Let me see what I can do for a write-up. I actually have recipes that can be mistaken for health food!

I'll have to give them their own threads of course, to make them easier to find. Tek's Cooking Channel Rides Again!

[CCQdobhran]

Swedish Lemon Angels:

1 Egg
1/2 cup buttermilk( or 1/4 cup milk w 1/4 cup vinegar)
5 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp. vamilla
1 cup lemon juice (Fresh is best)
1-1/4 cups sugar.
7/8 cup all-purpose flower
8 tbs. butter or margarine, melted.

Preheat oven to 375.
1. in a _Small_ bowl or 2-cup measuring cup, beat the egg until foamy.
2. Add the buttermilk and the vanilla and blend well.
3. Add the baking soda, one teaspoonful at atime, sprinkling it in ad beat unitl the mixture is smooth and the consistency of light cream.
4. Add the lemon juice all at once and blend into the mixture. Stir, do not beat (you want it creamy without a lot of air.)
5. The mixture will congeal into a pasty lump. Scoop it out of the bowl using a spatula and spread it on a floured surface.
6. Sift the flour and 3/4 cup of the sugar together and use the fingertips to work it into the egg-lemon mixture.
7. With a floured rolling pin, roll the dough out 1/32" thick, and with the tip of a sharp knife, cut the "angel" shapes and twist up the edges to form a shell like curve about 3/8" high. Sprinkle on the remainder of the sugar.
8. Brush each "angel" with melted butter.
9. Place angels one inch apart on an ungreased baking sheet and bake for 12 minutes or until golden.

[One beautiful loser]

Ultimately refreshing drink:

1 glass
2 ice cubes
tap water

1. Turn on faucet
2. put Ice in glass
3. fill glass with water
4. drink glass
5. Make anti-bottled water signs out of poster board and go protest at your local Ice Mountain bottling company.

Boo for perrier

[ZOMBIE USER 7262]

Perrier is good...but, it is not water. (Well, I mean, it is, but it's an expensive bubbly version of water.)

Heh... hey, Devon... I forgot to bring a can-opener to dorms... could I borrow your hatchet, or better yet, you? (EEEP!!) .. nevermind... Gloria's glaring at me, and I'm not sure why.

Easy dinner: Can of Cream of _____ soup, package of instant noodles, any veggies you wanna add. This is why I ned a can-opening device, see...

[One beautiful loser]

Perrier is evil! Never drink bottled water!

[TobiasWulfBoi]

Perrier=Evil
Whats the pont of carbonating water?
Bottled water is a gyp, if it were really pure,
like, really, really, utterly molecularly pure
then it would have no taste. Besides, bottled
water is one of the least regulated food industries
in the US. That leaves the door open for danger b/c
it contains nothing to prevent widestread contamination
of their product. Thats dangerous.
Fight the power!