MST3Keen preview

Postby Somebody Strange on Fri Mar 30, 2001 6:02 am

Oh, this is gonna be fun!<P>I used to write for an MST3K board; it was all text, written like a script, and it mocked out webpages and usenet postings. It was pretty funny MOST of the time, and I still get a giggle out of some of the things I read. I finally had to stop doing it, though... I was getting too seriously disturbed by the postings. Conspiracy theorists, mostly -- the type that Agent Mulder would look at with his jaw dropped before walking away and muttering "Wow, this guy believes THAT? What a total LOON."<P>An example -- you may have heard of the Philadelphia Experiment, in which the Navy supposedly experimented with invisibility (with disastrous results). If you aren't familiar with the theory, <A HREF="http://www.abovetopsecret.com/philadelphia.html" TARGET=_blank>this site</A> will give you a pretty good overview. In my opinion, the whole thing is bunk, but this site presents the general theory with only a slight bias towards belief. Overall, it's a lot saner than most of the other sites I've seen on the topic... but that may not be saying a whole heck of a lot.<P>I MiSTed a post once in which the author was thoroughly convinced that not only had the Navy managed to discover invisibility, but also managed to determine that -- bear with me here -- with the right parameters, one could safely teleport to any location OR time travel by staying in the same location. He had very intricate mathematical theories that gave inverse squares of this and 1/2 sine of that, and basically it boiled down to "a little knowledge is a dangerous thing".<P>He even talked about the supposed bodies "fused into the hull of the U.S.S. Eldridge" and claimed that the Navy deliberately killed innocent men to hide the knowledge that they had perfected the technology. I can't describe to you what I felt reading his post. It was somewhere between awe and horror. So I decided to laugh at it, and I MiSTed it.<P>Trouble is, Mr. Paranoia apparently found my treatment of his beliefs (and we're talking religious fervor here) by running a search for his own name. My e-mail was attached to the MiSTed post.<P>He wrote me.<P>He accused me of being (among other less pleasant things) an alien conspiring with the Illuminati that ran our government. In fact, he wouldn't even be surprised if I was actually Bill Clinton himself, the alien-hybrid puppet of the Saurians. He just wondered what I was doing in Indiana.<P>I had to stop. It was too worrisome to think he might be able to track me down. I don't need a lunatic stalker.<P>If only I could convince my overlords to give me a personal invisibility pack, then Bush, Cheney, and I might be able to remedy this little... situation.<P>--Strange/Dave<P>------------------
Neurotic -- sane, but unhappy about it.
Somebody Strange
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