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Sharuuk wrote:When the obscenely powerful demon god that owned it made a lunge for it, I pulled the equivalent of the 'point the shotgun in the air, close eyes and pull trigger and hit most of the bad guys at 50yds." I shoved it out in front of me in both hands with my eyes closed, teeth gritted and head turned.

And promptly wasted the demon god to the tune of about 60,000 experience points.

Nobody was happy with me.. ..especially the DM.

Hee hee hee! Yup, ain't nothin' like pure dumb luck to spice up a fight against impossible odds! -:D

EVERYbody was upset with me... ..the DM just kept giving me this "I can't believe you just did that." look... ...grumbled a bit and we started with a new campaign.....and I went from a level 1 to a level 6-7 character in one game!

Too funny.

S'aaruuk

Hmm, I have to relay this bit from a Mythus (breifly lived precentile based fantasy RPG that T$R killed via lawsuit) game. Magic is more accessible there, with the primarly based magic characters having better starting skills and deeper and more quickly replenishing magic point pools.

At one point in the adventure, after clearing out a waterfront warehouse that was a lair for a Lt. of the Evil Overlord the party was doing the standard post fight 'look and loot'. Only to find the Sorceress that t-ported out had the magic left over to summon a couple mid-level fire elementals and send them back to sanatize the hideout. Including the party if they got in the way.

The GM expected us to quicky choose and grab what we thought was important and run, the elementals were more concerned with evidence than witnesses, and they were beyond what he expected the party could handle after the fight we just got through.

One of the party had a teleport spell, then found it couldn't move things away from you, only summon them to you. Like 'I summon my staff' or "I summon my trusty steed". OTOH total volume was based on spell casting skill, and even moderately skilled charaters could summon surprisingly large volumes, say 'I summon my yacht', or 'I summon my hunting lodge'. Remember this is a WATERFRONT warehouse? The 'caster PC targeted his summoning point in the middle of the harbor, ten feet down, maximum volume for his skill.



We all just froze and looked at the GM. He had the look of 'dang, I never though of THAT trick' and 'how do I handle this crazy plan'. He was a good sport about the plan being derailed, and gave us a number for d6 damage to roll on the fire elementals. Then rolled for what the instant monsoon did to us in being knocked around. With no more IC warning than 'I got a spell to handle this' the party distracted the elementals for the few turns he needed to fire it off. Then things got rather wet...

After the flood one elemental was extinguished, the party stomped out the guttering remains of the second, then grabbed the (waterlogged) loot and scramed before the night firewatch showed up to investigate the sound and smoke.

My personal favorite RPG story.... thus far.... involves our current merry band of rogues and thieves. We had recently accrued a new PC-- a rather haughty and arrogant druidess-- and the DM decided she needed to be taken down a peg or two.
He arranged matters so that she was arrested.
While we were tooling about the greenhouses where she previously worked, several city guardsmen showed up. (Guess who, out of all of us, had no "hide" skill.) They nabbed her and dragged her off to the city jail.

We, being us, followed along, sat down across the street from the prison within eyesight of her cell window, and watched the fun.

First she tried to use her mighty druid transforming powers to escape from her cell. A cell designed to hold giants and ogres, mind. With adamantine bars on the window. She transformed into a half-rhinoceros and wasted several minutes bashing herself against the walls. When that failed to do anything but give her a headache, she tried casting plant growth on the weeds growing in the sidewalk cracks outside. The guards put an end to that with a well-placed alchemist's fire. She then tried to use her rhino horn to pull one of the blocks out of the wall by the manacle ring. She succeeded.... revealing a small cavity, backed by yet another stone wall, in which lay a brand new spoon.
(Obscure Terry Pratchett reference.)
The guards watching her efforts applauded. Which annoyed her enough that she cast Hedge Wall.... filling the hallway they were in with thorns and briars, which naturally annoyed the <I>guards</i> considerably. Time started getting pressing for her at that point, for they fetched their gardening tools and were working their way through the hedge to teach her a lesson.
In desperation, and having failed to catch the Pratchett reference, she proceeded to transform back into human and try to crawl into the hole she'd made to fetch the spoon (apparently under the impression that, if the DM mentioned it, it must be important somehow.)
......Instantly activating the tanglefoot bag trap inside the wall and gluing herself to the floor.
At this point, my character, Honest McGillicuddy, gnomish rogue (who happens to be magically transformed into a raccoon, but that's another story) levitated up to her cell window and proceeded to mock her with caustic drollery. After several minutes of razzing her, he put one of his latest inventions to use to free her.

See, he had recently obtained a gauntlet of Shrink Item--- lets him shrink anything up to 20 cubic feet in size down to 1/16 its original dimensions. He had subsequently purchased and shrunk down several barrels of gunpowder. To these barrels he had strapped bottles of alchemist's fire. When the shrink spell was reversed, the barrel would enlarge, crushing the vial and igniting itself. Honest took two of the miniaturized kegs, slapped them down on the windowsill, kicked off from the wall and ran like hell.

The explosion took out the entire wall.

Honest and the rest of the gang ran up the pile of rubble, fetched our unconscious and concussed druid, and hauled.

No, sadly, she did NOT learn anything from this.....

aint that always the way though?


my brothers and I had our characters scowering a temple of the priests of dragonright and found 4 wierd swords.

being the absolute dragon fanatic that I was (and still am) I (not my character mind) instantly recognized them as being four swords forged from the dried blood of the four dragons the priests of dragonright worship (dragon gods to be more specific, in this game dragon gods compare to the other gods in much the same way that dragons compare to normal people ) so naturally I had my wizard pick up a sword.

over the time we were total dorks about it. we lost two of the swords (and got in a fight at the time where the GM killed our characters) (don't worry he later copped out and said it was all a really intense dream warning us of the potential future, actually it helped us considerably) my blue sword had no magic abilities but a few psychic abilities, oh, and it cut through armor and junk like lightsabers do eventually the GM said to either have my wizard behave like a wizard or he was gonna force him to make a double class him with one of the 'men of arms' classes(which means he won't grow as a wizard anymore but will grow in exp levels as a man of arms unless/until he goes back to wizardry whereupon he can never doubleclass any longer and can't improve as a man of arms (now that I think about it that is kinda messed up)) needless to say I started using spells more and the sword less.

now, where did those other two swords go?, hmmmm...

shyal_malkes wrote:how about "I only have rudimentary skills and a background in farming which I can't even handle but I dream of and want to be an adventurer. so when the big shots in my home town ask me what I want to do in life I tell em tight up fromt."

...sound familiar?

Actually, thinking about it, Quentyn does have one mighty fine DGR for sticking in the adventurer biz..

...He calls it "Wildcard".

Ah, yes, the proverbial 'player-who's-a-jerk' problem. We had one of those in a game once (I was a player, not the GM). This particular jerk was a thief (back before they went PC and started calling them rogues) and took advantage of his position to skim off all the best treasure, in several cases selling things that he couldn't use but that other people could have. It got to the point that the GM was seriously ticked off at him, and when my illusionist finally made a roll and saw him do it IC, we devised a plan to deal with the problem.

The fellow was a treasure and experience hog, so we baited the trap with a supposedly magic dagger (just an aura) and a scroll with a message in illusionary script (so no one but him could read it). The two items were placed in a tube and then I hid it during a combat and let him find it afterwards. He was true to form, and swiped them...

The message informed him that he had been chosen to right an ancient wrong and that the dagger was capable of destroying a certain vampire lord that the party was building up to be able to attack. He was quite pleased at being bumped to the front of the line, and took himself off to gain all the experience and treasure, his only companion the fighter who was his lackey in the game and iRL. The vampire killed him without once biting him, commenting that anyone that stupid didn't deserve to be an undead, and sent the body back with the fighter, who had done no damage during the fight, either.

But no... they never learn. His next character did the same things...

RHJunior wrote:My personal favorite RPG story.... thus far.... involves our current merry band of rogues and thieves. We had recently accrued a new PC-- a rather haughty and arrogant druidess-- and the DM decided she needed to be taken down a peg or two.
He arranged matters so that she was arrested.
While we were tooling about the greenhouses where she previously worked, several city guardsmen showed up. (Guess who, out of all of us, had no "hide" skill.) They nabbed her and dragged her off to the city jail.

We, being us, followed along, sat down across the street from the prison within eyesight of her cell window, and watched the fun.

First she tried to use her mighty druid transforming powers to escape from her cell. A cell designed to hold giants and ogres, mind. With adamantine bars on the window. She transformed into a half-rhinoceros and wasted several minutes bashing herself against the walls. When that failed to do anything but give her a headache, she tried casting plant growth on the weeds growing in the sidewalk cracks outside. The guards put an end to that with a well-placed alchemist's fire. She then tried to use her rhino horn to pull one of the blocks out of the wall by the manacle ring. She succeeded.... revealing a small cavity, backed by yet another stone wall, in which lay a brand new spoon.
(Obscure Terry Pratchett reference.)
The guards watching her efforts applauded. Which annoyed her enough that she cast Hedge Wall.... filling the hallway they were in with thorns and briars, which naturally annoyed the <I>guards</i> considerably. Time started getting pressing for her at that point, for they fetched their gardening tools and were working their way through the hedge to teach her a lesson.
In desperation, and having failed to catch the Pratchett reference, she proceeded to transform back into human and try to crawl into the hole she'd made to fetch the spoon (apparently under the impression that, if the DM mentioned it, it must be important somehow.)
......Instantly activating the tanglefoot bag trap inside the wall and gluing herself to the floor.
At this point, my character, Honest McGillicuddy, gnomish rogue (who happens to be magically transformed into a raccoon, but that's another story) levitated up to her cell window and proceeded to mock her with caustic drollery. After several minutes of razzing her, he put one of his latest inventions to use to free her.

See, he had recently obtained a gauntlet of Shrink Item--- lets him shrink anything up to 20 cubic feet in size down to 1/16 its original dimensions. He had subsequently purchased and shrunk down several barrels of gunpowder. To these barrels he had strapped bottles of alchemist's fire. When the shrink spell was reversed, the barrel would enlarge, crushing the vial and igniting itself. Honest took two of the miniaturized kegs, slapped them down on the windowsill, kicked off from the wall and ran like hell.

The explosion took out the entire wall.

Honest and the rest of the gang ran up the pile of rubble, fetched our unconscious and concussed druid, and hauled.

No, sadly, she did NOT learn anything from this.....

I have never tried RPGing but could she have tried transforming into a small beetle and flying out the window?

And I get the spoon referance. Always have the chance, eh?

what I wanna know is how does a "brand new spoon" even get between the walls and still be "brand new" (unless it was planted for some morbid or torturous reason durring which case it should have been a dead give away)

shyal_malkes wrote:what I wanna know is how does a "brand new spoon" even get between the walls and still be "brand new" (unless it was planted for some morbid or torturous reason durring which case it should have been a dead give away)

Although I'm certain I haven't read the book with this in it, I think I can reasonably say--knowing Pratchett's writing--that simply because it is a Pratchett reference, there isn't any logic to it.

shyal_malkes wrote:what I wanna know is how does a "brand new spoon" even get between the walls and still be "brand new" (unless it was planted for some morbid or torturous reason durring which case it should have been a dead give away)

Oh, there is plenty of logic. Its about the chance of freedom. A person digs and digs (with a spoon) through a wall, finally to break through and find......another wall and a brand new spoon. You can't have prisoners laying aroind, mopeing. Give them hope with a spoon. Even if its a funny, false, and rather twisted hope.

Ah. I see. Which one is that in?

Celidah the Bardess wrote:Ah. I see. Which one is that in?

I can't help but wonder when the story with the Druidess took place, because the only time I ever saw the spoon in the wall bit was in Going Postal.

And it wasn't giving a person a chance. It was gifting the prisoner with that rarest of all gifts: hope.

KITTY!!! [POUNCE!!!]

The JAM wrote:KITTY!!! [POUNCE!!!]

ACK! *oof* Was this trip really neccissary?

This one's a Battletech tale:

The party had decided to do something unusual at the outset of the campaign. They sold off all their 'Mechs, bought a handful of cheap and fast hovertanks, and spent the difference getting themselves a STARSHIP. More specifically, a beat-up Mule DropShip for interplanetary work, and a bank loan on an Intruder for the interstellar Jumps.

The party had decided to go MERCHANT! - Not just any merchants, either --- BLACK MARKET, running luxury items between Steiner and Kurita space.

The campaign quickly mushroomed out of control --- the players simply would not back down to any confrontation that did not involve imminent destruction, and I was loathe to simply swat them out of the skies in a fit of pique.

This is how it went down.


**************************
On June 6th, 3021, merchants of the Draconis Combine's Rasalhague Principality staged a massive demonstration of civil disobedience --- shipping unauthorized, although profitable, cargoes --- which prompted a military response across ten systems. Although quickly covered up by Draconis authorities, recent good relations between the Combine and its neighbor states in the face of the mutual Clan threat have opened various records to public scrutiny.

While the Merchant Rebellion of 3021 was short-lived, it was certainly dramatic, involving not only major JumpShip and DropShip lines but also small transport operations and even light non-commercial civilian craft. The events were chronicled in part by songwriter Cheryl Winter MacComb as follows:

***************************

[Citizen's Band Radio Frequency Chatter]
Ah, breaker one-nine, this here's the Rubber Duck. You gotta copy on me, Pig Pen, c'mon? Ah, yeah, 10-4, Pig Pen, fer shure, fer shure. By golly, it's clean clear to drop pad, c'mon. Yeah, that's a big 10-4 there, Pig Pen, yeah, we definitely got the front door, good buddy. Mercy sakes alive, looks like we got us a convoy...

We clipped the moon on the sixth of June
With a Union haulin' logs
Icebreaker Mule with a reefer on
And a Mammoth callin' hogs

We was headin' fer Dawn at a half a G
'Bout an AU off th' ground
I says, "Pig Pen, this here's the Rubber Duck.
And I'm about to put the hammer down."

[Chorus]
'Cause we got a little convoy
Thrustin' through the night.

Yeah, we got a little convoy,
Ain't she a beautiful sight?

Come on and join our convoy
Ain't nothin' gonna get in our way.

We gonna jet this merchant convoy
'Cross Rasalhague t'day
Convoy!

[Citizen's Band Radio Frequency Chatter]
Ah, breaker, Pig Pen, this here's the Duck. You wanna back off them hogs? Yeah, 10-4, 'bout ten AU or so. Ten, roger. Them Dracs is gettin' in-tense up here.

By the time we lifted fer Predlitz
We had eighty-five ships in all.
But they's a blockade short of th' pirate point,
And them Dracs was wall-to-wall.

Yeah, them fighters was thick as fuel in the cooler
They closed and started to rake;
I says, "Callin' all trucks, this here's the Duck.
We about to go a-huntin' snake."

[Chorus]
'Cause we got a great big convoy
Thrustin' through the night.

Yeah, we got a great big convoy,
Ain't she a beautiful sight?

Come on and join our convoy
Ain't nothin' gonna get in our way.

We gonna jet this merchant convoy
'Cross Rasalhague t'day
Convoy!

[Citizen's Band Radio Frequency Chatter]
Ah, you wanna give me a 10-9 on that, Pig Pen? Negatory, Pig Pen; you're still too close. Yeah, them Dracs is startin' to close up my sinuses. Mercy sakes, you better back off another ten.

Well, we blasted straight through ta Engadin
Left behind smokin' trails,
An' tore up our registrations,
Just ta tweak th' Dragon's scales.

By the time we hit ol' Radstadt,
Them Dracs was a-gettin' smart:
They'd brought up some reinforcements
From th' Zhang Academy bars.

There's armored tanks, and troops with guns,
And 'Mechs of ev'ry size.
Yeah, them starport docks was full'a Dracs
And fighters filled the skies.
Well, we punched th' stratospheric line
With a thousand screamin' Drops
An' eleven long-robed friends a' Buddha
In a rainbow shuttle-bus.

[Citizen's Band Radio Frequency Chatter]
Ah, Rubber Duck to Sodbuster, come over. Yeah, 10-4, Sodbuster? Lissen, you wanna put that shuttle-bus in behind that suicide jockey? Yeah, he's haulin' dynamite, and he needs all the help he can get.

Well, we laid a course fer Tamar
Prepared ta Jump th' hill
We could see the tolls were lined with Dracs
But we didn't have a damn K-Bill.

I says, "Pig Pen, this here's the Rubber Duck.
"We just ain't a-gonna pay no toll."
So we crashed the gate doin' Gravity Eight
I says "Let them merchants roll, 10-4."

[Chorus]
'Cause we got a mighty convoy
Thrustin' through the night.

Yeah, we got a mighty convoy,
Ain't she a beautiful sight?

Come on and join our convoy
Ain't nothin' gonna get in our way.

We gonna jet this merchant convoy
'Cross Rasalhague t'day!


Convoy!
Ah, 10-4, Pig Pen, what's your twenty?
Convoy!
DUSTBALL? Well, they oughta know what to do with them hogs out there fer shure.
Convoy!
Well, mercy sakes, good buddy, we gonna back on outta here, so keep the bugs off your glass and the Dracs off your...tail.
Convoy!
We'll catch you on the flip-flop. This here's the Rubber Duck on the side.
Convoy!
We gone bye-bye!

(repeats to self)...not gonna cry, not gonna cry........(sniff) THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL!

C.W. Mc Call would absolutely LOVE it......I sure do. And the scarey part is that I could "hear" this in McCall's voice..........yeah, I got the LP.

S'aaruuk

Sharuuk wrote:C.W. Mc Call would absolutely LOVE it......I sure do. And the scarey part is that I could "hear" this in McCall's voice..........yeah, I got the LP.

S'aaruuk

Me too. At first, I was taken in that I could differiante the the two, and I had to go back re-read it before I saw the differance. I kept hearing the song in my head.

Whats an LP?

Madmoonie wrote:Whats an LP?

PHbbbT

S'aaruuk