Pass the Antitoxin, please!

The JAM · Post by **The JAM** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 6:29 pm

Heh, I've seen those "armor plated cockroaches". We call them patinetas, "skateboards". Guess why.

UncleMonty · Post by **UncleMonty** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 8:02 pm

I can't beat your "biggest roach" tales, but even the little ones can be troublesome.

My first job, as a TV repairman in Wichita Kansas... A stereo came in, the complaint was "the 8-Track plays too fast"... (You DO remember 8-Tracks, don'cha?)

I put it on my workbench, and hear rustling sounds inside.
I take it out to the parking lot and open it... the escaping hordes of half-inch roaches prove that the outdoors was a good choice. I shake out the last few and take it back inside.

An 8-track of that vintage used a heavy flywheel and a rubber belt drive. The pulleys on that belt are sized to provide the correct speed. One of them had a smooth dry layer of roach corpses, from hapless insectoid explorers caught up in the adventure and repeatedly squeezed between the belt and pulley.

It was strangely humorous, those pathetic little bug heads spinning around in a circle.

BlasTech · Post by **BlasTech** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 8:02 pm

My reaction to this comic is somewhere along these lines http://exterminatusnow.comicgenesis.com/d/20041119.html

but nowhere near as restrained

Squeaky Bunny · Post by **Squeaky Bunny** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 8:31 pm

UncleMonty wrote:I can't beat your "biggest roach" tales, but even the little ones can be troublesome.

My first job, as a TV repairman in Wichita Kansas... A stereo came in, the complaint was "the 8-Track plays too fast"... (You DO remember 8-Tracks, don'cha?)

I put it on my workbench, and hear rustling sounds inside.
I take it out to the parking lot and open it... the escaping hordes of half-inch roaches prove that the outdoors was a good choice. I shake out the last few and take it back inside.

An 8-track of that vintage used a heavy flywheel and a rubber belt drive. The pulleys on that belt are sized to provide the correct speed. One of them had a smooth dry layer of roach corpses, from hapless insectoid explorers caught up in the adventure and repeatedly squeezed between the belt and pulley.

It was strangely humorous, those pathetic little bug heads spinning around in a circle.

All those antennae and it still got lousy reception. . .

One thing though , Ronnie can honestly say he's the new webmaster.

Rangers · Post by **Rangers** » Sat Mar 04, 2006 4:57 am

Look, I know spiders make great pets and all, but that doesn't stop me from panicking whenever I see one.

Thing I hate about them is you never see them coming. You just glance down and BOOM! I always get the abdabs when that happens.

Maxgoof · Post by **Maxgoof** » Sat Mar 04, 2006 7:20 am

Okay, I'm normally not afraid of spiders, but here's a good spider story.

For a while, I had a spider in my car. I only saw it when I was driving, usually crawling up on the inside of the winshield. I never paid it much mind, since I wasn't afraid of them. Whenever I got parked, though, I went to look for the spider, and it was nowhere to be found. Oh well, next time.

Well, one time I was driving and here comes the spider again, crawling up the inside of the windshield like normal. This time, however, the spider jumped down onto the dashboard. Okay, I thought, maybe this time I can capture him, and put him outside the car and release him.

Then he jumped down onto the steering wheel. Uh...um...a bit close for comfo...

Then he jumped onto me. AHHHH!!!!! GetItOffGetItOff! I brushed myself several times, and found the closest place to pull over, get out of the car and brush myself off. I determined, right then and there, that if I found that little guy, he was going to get the squash treatment.

Shyal_malkes · Post by **Shyal_malkes** » Sat Mar 04, 2006 10:50 am

I heard somewhere that spiders smell stuff through their legs. I guess that might make sense as their legs have a lot of surface area touching the air so they would be a logical place to put that particular sensory organ.

MikeVanPelt · Post by **MikeVanPelt** » Sat Mar 04, 2006 10:10 pm

Squeaky Bunny wrote:And I thought it was Spoo that you used.

You can't run a spoo ranch in Florida; the humidity makes 'em go all mildewy.

Squeaky Bunny · Post by **Squeaky Bunny** » Sun Mar 05, 2006 1:20 pm

MikeVanPelt wrote:
Squeaky Bunny wrote:And I thought it was Spoo that you used.
You can't run a spoo ranch in Florida; the humidity makes 'em go all mildewy.

That might improve the taste.

MikeVanPelt · Post by **MikeVanPelt** » Sun Mar 05, 2006 3:38 pm

Squeaky Bunny wrote:
MikeVanPelt wrote:
Squeaky Bunny wrote:And I thought it was Spoo that you used.
You can't run a spoo ranch in Florida; the humidity makes 'em go all mildewy.
That might improve the taste.

Well... It couldn't hurt.

Squeaky Bunny · Post by **Squeaky Bunny** » Sun Mar 05, 2006 6:01 pm

*looks down and blushes as his pants are nearly missing*

Eep! I should know better than to go around and unravel threads.

Bruce Bergman · Post by **Bruce Bergman** » Tue Mar 07, 2006 9:49 am

Nothing quite beats opening up a plastic telephone handhole in a new subdivision to buzz out the terminal, and having a baby rattlesnake coiled up and staring up at you...

"Oh S***!....

Okay, Out, You! Unless you work here, and I don't see an ID Badge..."

Note: fiberglass clearance sticks make a very effective snake handling hook for little ones. Once you get them out of the hole, they get the idea to skedadle.

Calbeck wrote: *forehead smack*
*misses hand impalement by > < that much!*

You might want to go get a few Camoflage painted UPD's made before you try that trick again, Roy. (Red simply isn't your color.)

--<< Bruce >>--