Tales of the Rebel Cry Cannon Fodder

Tales of the Rebel Cry Cannon Fodder

Postby SolidusRaccoon on Mon Oct 02, 2006 3:09 am

Forgive me Ralph :)

Chapter One: Solidus.

Solidus grew up on one of the main systems, where his family ran a lucrative cardboard box manufacturing company. They supplied the highest grade cardboard boxes throughout the known galaxy. Big boxes, little boxes, square boxes, and even round boxes. But Solidus grew tired of the sedate and boring nature of the cardboard box industry and set out to search for his life long dream, the much fabled green chicks. Many others had also set out on the same quest and failed, but Solidus was determined to finally find every space traveling males dream, green chicks.

He finally ended up on Promethia Major, where he decided that if he can’t find his dream, he would make it. Using what funds he had left he purchased a run down tavern and a barrel of green fur dye, and opened up the theme restaurant “Green Chicks”. It became an overnight sensation, hiring the most beautiful ladies and having them dye their fur green was an inspired stroke of genius. Men could finally see and be served meals by the green chicks of their dreams. Business was booming, with chain restaurants opening all over the Promethian systems.

But the days were numbered, the Federations policies becoming more restrictive, they took more than they gave. Every week new taxes and new laws and restrictions were placed on the business. The final nail in the coffin was the obscene tax on the green fur dye, which finally forced the “Green Chicks” restaurants to close.

Solidus worked hard to make his dreams a reality, only to have it crushed by the bureaucratic and selfish Federation, swearing revenge he quickly joined up with others like him to fight against those who crushed his dream, Solidus had joined the rebellion, but while Solidus was a grade A businessman he was not much of a space pilot. He was blasted into itty bitty pieces by a kill drone.

While Solidus may be space ash now, his legacy still lives on. Every once in a while you will still see someone walking around with a “Green Chicks” T-shirt. And fathers still tell their sons about how for a short time the universe did in fact have green chicks in it.
Last edited by SolidusRaccoon on Mon Oct 02, 2006 4:25 am, edited 1 time in total.
Yes, sir. I agree completely. It takes a well-balanced individual... such as yourself to rule the world. No, sir. No one knows that you were the third one... Solidus. ...What should I do about the woman? Yes sir. I'll keep her under surveillance. Yes. Thank you. Good-bye...... Mr. President.
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Postby Calbeck on Mon Oct 02, 2006 3:29 am

*rabid applause*
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Postby SolidusRaccoon on Mon Oct 02, 2006 3:38 am

Calbeck wrote:*rabid applause*


Heh thank you.

And this story was inspired by Mikhail Dragoslav, thanks for giving me the idea to write it.
Yes, sir. I agree completely. It takes a well-balanced individual... such as yourself to rule the world. No, sir. No one knows that you were the third one... Solidus. ...What should I do about the woman? Yes sir. I'll keep her under surveillance. Yes. Thank you. Good-bye...... Mr. President.
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Postby BrockthePaine on Mon Oct 02, 2006 5:56 am

*Snerkles*

Is this green chick fascination some kind of Star Trek thing?
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“To preserve liberty, it is essential that the whole body of the people always possess arms and be taught alike, especially when young, how to use them.” - Richard Henry Lee
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Postby SolidusRaccoon on Mon Oct 02, 2006 6:16 am

BrockthePaine wrote:*Snerkles*

Is this green chick fascination some kind of Star Trek thing?


You betcha, and there was a colorization of one of Ralph's pieces of art with a green furred space raccoon chick.
Yes, sir. I agree completely. It takes a well-balanced individual... such as yourself to rule the world. No, sir. No one knows that you were the third one... Solidus. ...What should I do about the woman? Yes sir. I'll keep her under surveillance. Yes. Thank you. Good-bye...... Mr. President.
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Postby The JAM on Mon Oct 02, 2006 6:49 am

Why green, though? Why not purple, lavender, lila, aquamarine, fuscia, or even teal or burgundy? :D
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Postby SolidusRaccoon on Mon Oct 02, 2006 6:58 am

The JAM wrote:Why green, though? Why not purple, lavender, lila, aquamarine, fuscia, or even teal or burgundy? :D


Orion Slave Girls. :D :D :D
Yes, sir. I agree completely. It takes a well-balanced individual... such as yourself to rule the world. No, sir. No one knows that you were the third one... Solidus. ...What should I do about the woman? Yes sir. I'll keep her under surveillance. Yes. Thank you. Good-bye...... Mr. President.
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Postby Mikhail Dragoslav on Mon Oct 02, 2006 8:29 am

SolidusRaccoon wrote:
Calbeck wrote:*rabid applause*


Heh thank you.

And this story was inspired by Mikhail Dragoslav, thanks for giving me the idea to write it.


Me and my BIG mouth.... :wink:

Thanks!
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Postby Atarlost on Mon Oct 02, 2006 10:05 am

Actually, the cardboard box industry is probably pretty lucrative. I haven't counted, but my impression from working grocery is that about a half dozen companies make all the cases stuff comes in in bulk.

The best company name I've ever seen is Smurfitt-Stone, a cardboard box manufacturer.
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Postby SolidusRaccoon on Mon Oct 02, 2006 11:05 am

Mikhail Dragoslav: You are welcome.

Atarlost: Yup, big bucks in boxes.
Yes, sir. I agree completely. It takes a well-balanced individual... such as yourself to rule the world. No, sir. No one knows that you were the third one... Solidus. ...What should I do about the woman? Yes sir. I'll keep her under surveillance. Yes. Thank you. Good-bye...... Mr. President.
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Postby Shyal_malkes on Mon Oct 02, 2006 5:09 pm

that.... was.... HILARIOUS!
I still say the doctor did it....
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Postby SolidusRaccoon on Mon Oct 02, 2006 6:50 pm

shyal_malkes wrote:that.... was.... HILARIOUS!


If you gotta go, go with a SMILE.
Yes, sir. I agree completely. It takes a well-balanced individual... such as yourself to rule the world. No, sir. No one knows that you were the third one... Solidus. ...What should I do about the woman? Yes sir. I'll keep her under surveillance. Yes. Thank you. Good-bye...... Mr. President.
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Postby Calbeck on Mon Oct 02, 2006 7:41 pm

BECAUSE YOU DEMANDED IT! (we did?) YOU DARE NOT MISS:

Chapter Two: Roy Calbeck

Last scion of a once-successful interstellar trucking family conglomerate, Roy came into his majority too late to salvage the poor business decisions that had led his father to incorporate with Dynamo Core Lines. Left with only a few junkers and what remained of his inheritance, he started a new life in the Rim Zones under a new corporate identity: Wild Horse Transport.

As relations between the core and rim worlds began to break down, however, he found his tiny fleet slowly losing its market share even with its excellent track record and low prices. A personal showdown with the attorney who came to offer a buyout of his company revealed the truth: several major shipping lines had adopted unofficial policies of refusing to ship for anyone using Rim-based transport services. No one who wanted to do large-scale business in the core worlds could afford to hire his outfit for fear of losing far more lucrative markets. Complaints to the Fair Trade Market Bureau fell on deaf ears.

Wild Horse Transport found itself scrabbling to make ends meet, with constant threats of foreclosure from various creditors, as low-value shipments along the Rim itself became the only source of income.

When the Federation finally revealed its true colors and declared war on the Promethean Systems, Roy decided to throw in his lot with the rebels; a strong resistance, even an unsuccessful one, might result in concessions, which he saw as the only way to restart fair trade practices between the Core and Rim. The ten remaining Wild Horse cargo haulers, including his personal rig "Glory Jane", found themselves in the thick of the battles in their new role as fighter tugs, and Roy found himself wearing Major's pips on his collar as Group Commander of the fighters assigned to his trucks.

One by one, the Wild Horses were cornered and shot down by sheer numbers, but Roy and "Glory Jane" lasted right up until the final battle of the war...
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Postby Tbolt on Tue Oct 03, 2006 2:08 am

Solidus, that was outstanding! :lol:

Fortunately, I was able to put down the can of mandarin oranges I was eating at the time prior to something horrible happening to my keyboard, monitor and nasal passages!

Nice backstory, Roy, now I'm genuinely regretting not tossing my chip in the till for this, ah well, such are the fortunes of war! =^^=
Always tell the truth, that way you don't have to remember anything. -- Mark twain
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Postby SolidusRaccoon on Tue Oct 03, 2006 3:02 am

Calbeck: Bravo, bravo. Good one.

Tbolt: Thanks. :)
Yes, sir. I agree completely. It takes a well-balanced individual... such as yourself to rule the world. No, sir. No one knows that you were the third one... Solidus. ...What should I do about the woman? Yes sir. I'll keep her under surveillance. Yes. Thank you. Good-bye...... Mr. President.
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Postby BrockthePaine on Tue Oct 03, 2006 6:14 am

I wonder where I'm going to show up. I mentioned once being on the bridge of the Federal ship, but... yeah, dunno yet. As soon as I find out, I'll post my own little funfun story... (peer pressure ya see).
It does not take a majority to prevail ... but rather an irate, tireless minority, keen on setting brushfires of freedom in the minds of men. - attributed to Samuel Adams

“To preserve liberty, it is essential that the whole body of the people always possess arms and be taught alike, especially when young, how to use them.” - Richard Henry Lee
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Postby SolidusRaccoon on Tue Oct 03, 2006 8:46 am

BrockthePaine wrote:I wonder where I'm going to show up. I mentioned once being on the bridge of the Federal ship, but... yeah, dunno yet. As soon as I find out, I'll post my own little funfun story... (peer pressure ya see).


The more the merrier.
Yes, sir. I agree completely. It takes a well-balanced individual... such as yourself to rule the world. No, sir. No one knows that you were the third one... Solidus. ...What should I do about the woman? Yes sir. I'll keep her under surveillance. Yes. Thank you. Good-bye...... Mr. President.
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Postby Madmoonie on Tue Oct 03, 2006 10:52 am

See....I would rather do one better and survive the war and not go up in a blaze of glory.......but then you have the whole 'living in an unjust tyrannical empire' kinda thing so there you go. :D
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Postby SolidusRaccoon on Tue Oct 03, 2006 4:29 pm

Madmoonie wrote:See....I would rather do one better and survive the war and not go up in a blaze of glory.......but then you have the whole 'living in an unjust tyrannical empire' kinda thing so there you go. :D


Today is a good day to die.
Yes, sir. I agree completely. It takes a well-balanced individual... such as yourself to rule the world. No, sir. No one knows that you were the third one... Solidus. ...What should I do about the woman? Yes sir. I'll keep her under surveillance. Yes. Thank you. Good-bye...... Mr. President.
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Postby Earl McClaw on Tue Oct 03, 2006 8:10 pm

SolidusRaccoon wrote:
Madmoonie wrote:See....I would rather do one better and survive the war and not go up in a blaze of glory.......but then you have the whole 'living in an unjust tyrannical empire' kinda thing so there you go. :D

Today is a good day to die.

...but tomorrow looks to be even better. I'd like to find out.
:D
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