Fanfic...

Postby Cannonshop on Mon Mar 12, 2001 10:02 am

(Intercepted and translated by NTLNX134)
"Good Evening Ladies and Gentlemen,
It is with some sadness that we report the following news: For some months now Research and Development teams at GE/Colt of New Caledonia have been working on a Weapons Upgrade for the Stingray Class fighter, In cooperation with Our Scientists, under contract number 543xtn229990x, also known as the Mark 2 Heavy Lazer Cannon(portable). This morning, This contract was cancelled officially, our Scientists have been recalled home, and a formal note of protest was filed by the Minister of State. The reasons for this:
1. Test Data was Altered to make the system appear to function as the Contract Specified.
2. The Weapons, when brought to full power in a static Ground Test, failed Catastrophically at the... Testing Range...,<P>The Scientists involved in this Crime are to be questioned by the Ministry of Justice. As for the Company men at GE/Colt of New Caledonia, Their Own Justice Department has assured our Minister of State, that whatever mortal remains are left, will be "happily Extradited to Exedran custody, as soon as (the NCJD) has finished their Interrogation."
We do not, at this time, anticipate recieving Live Prisoners to try.
it is with Great Sadness, that I announce the end of (the project) in such a manner.
More news to follow..."<P>1st analyst: "They got the bare facts right, It's interesting that they didn't include some of the details."
2nd Analyst: "Like how we were supposed to recieve sixteen Fighters in exchange for the Lazers, and that's the whole reason we hooked up with their folks?"
1st Analyst:"Yeah, that, and the way their Minister of State looked when he saw the executives in the interrogation..."
2nd Analyst:"Hmmm, Like he's never seen a man skinned alive? And they're going up against the Erosians? CRIPES."
1st Analyst:"Better them than us... at least The damned Erosians think of THEM as Human."
2nd Analyst <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspace.com/forums/frown.gif">shrugs)"well, WE honored our agreement and sent them the complete notes... Maybe some of their Clever Boys can come up with something workable, the Principle was sound enough, just the execution that was fertilizer..."
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Postby KimiG on Fri Mar 16, 2001 3:42 am

skinned alive?!??? alls I can say is EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!! your a sicko babes, but sickos are cool. <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspace.com/forums/wink.gif"><P>smoochies,
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Postby Max on Sat Mar 17, 2001 11:33 am

Huh! I think it's just what the *censored* deserved!! Faking tests like that!! I want those *censored censored* cannon, *censored censored* it!! Somebody'd better get their sorry *censored* in gear on 'em, and GET 'EM RIGHT!!! *censored!!*<P><P>------------------
Max<P>Fighter pilots do it <I>better.</I>
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Postby Cannonshop on Sun Mar 18, 2001 3:56 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Max:
<B>Huh! I think it's just what the *censored* deserved!! Faking tests like that!! I want those *censored censored* cannon, *censored censored* it!! Somebody'd better get their sorry *censored* in gear on 'em, and GET 'EM RIGHT!!! *censored!!*<P>...and YOU would volunteer to be on the Test Program after the mess at the Yamahada Testing Grounds??? (wonders about Max's sanity) Did you see the Holoimages? the Cookoff ignited the Alloys in the fighter's fuselage, the Ground Crewers on the Lead Bird could have gotten away, but they were trying to get the Canopy unstuck, when the fuel tanks blew. BTW: my sources on New Caledonia tell me that, due to the delicate nature of the situation, the NCJD has promised to keep the Program Administrator ALIVE for a minimum of six months. When they refer to that, they mean conscious, with his brain chemistry carefully balanced, so that he can't go insane, catatonic, or into massive shock, while he feels EVERYTHING they're doing to him.
P.S. Rumor in the betting mills on New Vegas says there's Erosian Involvement in the failure of the program... Just rumors, mind you. As for Fighter Weapons, I prefer Particle Beams myself, (concussive, as well as melting damage, and the effects can't be shaken by rolling...) Though funding seems a little short here (apparently, the guys with the purse strings seem a little... nervous about spending on High-Energy weapons right now, something about "Treaties"... go figure.)<P></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>
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Postby Cannonshop on Sun Mar 18, 2001 10:53 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Max:
<B> Hey, I ain't no test pilot. But if they asked me, I'd do it. You gotta be at least a little insane to want to be in this outfit in the first place, you know? I'm just glad to know the *censored* in charge of the testing is getting his what for. We're too soft on our own screw ups, IMO. And as for particle beam weapons, I'd be glad to have them, too. Anything would be better than these lousy percussion pulse generators they sent us. Three words to the Big Brass: THEY DON'T WORK. Maybe they work in test, under controlled circumstances, but they are totally *censored* useless in combat. They're so into these weapons that pulse their energy output, right now!!! Worthless!! There is no accuracy, unless you're right on top of your target and moving in a straight line!!! How often does <I>that</I> happen?!? I find myself constantly falling back on the old projectiles. All that fancy schmancy crap is a big waste of money.<P>I wouldn't put it past those *censored* Erosians to try and *censored* up the laser program, either. Those laser cannon are a hell of a lot better than any of the crap they're using. It's amazing what they can do with that antique stuff, though. They got some brave people, I'll give 'em that, and their spies are usually top-notch SOB's.<P>All that treaty *censored* gets on my nerves, though. It's bad enough that our own dear Madame Prez pretty much castrated the military with her *censored* bleeding heart policies, but now they're holding up those outdated treaties that nobody but us adheres to?!? *censored!!!* I've been hearing rumors about some new assassination teams we're supposed to be coming up with, and Exedra <I>wrote</I> the *censored* anti-assassination treaty. Personally, I'm all for it. I'd like to see the Erosians scramble, after their grabby little maniac emperor was knocked off. Maybe one of the ones who had some sense of decency would take over. They sure couldn't get worse than what they've got now. This whole *censored* mess is his fault. If he hadn't snatched up Ardo (which was where I was planning on taking my vacation last year!!), we'd still be on 6 month local cruises, instead of 2 *censored* years each in the deep. Yeah, I'd like to personally twist his *censored* off and shove it down his throat. Sometimes, I think the independent colonies were a really bad idea. They allowed nuts like that to take over and cause trouble for the rest of us.<P>But I gotta be thankful for one thing: we're fighting the *censored*-less Erosians instead of the Cassareans. Far fewer casualties for us, that way. Their king <I>knows</I> the value of a fully-funded military force. They put more money into their military than anything else, and they'll break a treaty five seconds after signing it and glad-handing the diplomats all the *censored* way. Thank Buddha they're our allies, right now. A dogfight with one of theirs would make me feel like a baby sparrow in the sights of a hungry hawk.<P>
</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Well, Major, as an Immigrant (I was born on New Caledonia) to Excedra, I have to say that it's not quite as much a mess as you may believe. I am certain of two things:
1. while the Justice System here is less um, Heavy handed? At least I don't have to worry about being killed during questioning, and Electrochemical Interrogation requires a Warrant, back home, it's treated as a "Light" questioning. (If you were unaware, there is a 15% chance during EC that the subject will lose some or all mental function, especially if the interrogation is lengthy.)
2. Our economy is capable of entering "High-Gear" production (when necessary) without sacrificing a portion of our population to Famine, or, suffocation (Last War: 30,000 people in Dome 3 had to be locked in while the life-support was cut in order to provide power to the Ammunition Factories...)
3. Pulse Weaponry is better for Surface conflict, it was not originally designed for the speed of Aerial/Zero-G dogfighting. As such, it is a poor choice for a fighter's "Main Gun" unless said fighter is going after a relatively slow, thin-skinned adversary (Armed Freighters, sattelites, and commercial stations), or, an adversary that relies heavily on Computer Controlled systems.
3. The Cassareans are not quite as Mercurial as that, they tend to stick to the LETTER of treaties, rather than the "Spirit" of them, generally, this tends to mean that they will change the name, department, or stated purpose of their research/conflict activities, or, they'll find an "Offense"-committed by one other party, that they can use to break a Treaty if it is too...Restrictive. No doubt, from their own perspective, they have dealt openly and Honorably, (While I was working the Orcom Transit mines, I dealt with Cassearian merchants on a regular basis...)
On the whole, living in a Democratic Republic like Excedra is better than either a Monarchy, (Cassareans), or, a Military/Commercial Dictatorship like either Erosia, or, New Caledonia, although I do find it somewhat... disconcerting to actually have to walk in public unarmed when I'm not on Shift, and the rather broad definition of "Murder" makes settling differences somewhat difficult, especially for someone such as myself, from a High-G world, since it CAN be interpreted that I used a "Weapon Equivalent", and it is very difficult to prove that I didn't WANT a brawl. Pass me that Torque Spanner? thanks. Here it is, like new, substructure's all completed, your Chief can take care of the systems now, and after she's done, we'll patch the outer skin with new panels. (I don't like to rework 'em, and I'll have to if she's gotta drill the bracketry in those tight spaces.) One of the Contract Specs says that I'm not allowed to assist in the installation of "Non-Factory" components that are Proprietary to the Exedran military. even though I CAN Uninstall 'em.
Right Crazy 'tis.
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Postby Max on Sun Mar 18, 2001 11:31 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Cannonshop:
<B> ...and YOU would volunteer to be on the Test Program after the mess at the Yamahada Testing Grounds??? (wonders about Max's sanity) Did you see the Holoimages? the Cookoff ignited the Alloys in the fighter's fuselage, the Ground Crewers on the Lead Bird could have gotten away, but they were trying to get the Canopy unstuck, when the fuel tanks blew. BTW: my sources on New Caledonia tell me
that, due to the delicate nature of the situation, the NCJD has promised to keep the
Program Administrator ALIVE for a minimum of six months. When they refer to that, they mean conscious, with his brain chemistry carefully balanced, so that he can't go insane, catatonic, or into massive shock, while he feels EVERYTHING they're doing to him.
P.S. Rumor in the betting mills on New Vegas says there's Erosian Involvement in the
failure of the program... Just rumors, mind you. As for Fighter Weapons, I prefer
Particle Beams myself, (concussive, as well as melting damage, and the effects can't be shaken by rolling...) Though funding seems a little short here (apparently, the guys with the purse strings seem a little... nervous about spending on High-Energy weapons right now, something about "Treaties"... go figure.)</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Hey, I ain't no test pilot. But if they asked me, I'd do it. You gotta be at least a little insane to want to be in this outfit in the first place, you know? I'm just glad to know the *censored* in charge of the testing is getting his what for. We're too soft on our own screw ups, IMO. And as for particle beam weapons, I'd be glad to have them, too. Anything would be better than these lousy percussion pulse generators they sent us. Three words to the Big Brass: THEY DON'T WORK. Maybe they work in test, under controlled circumstances, but they are totally *censored* useless in combat. They're so into these weapons that pulse their energy output, right now!!! Worthless!! There is no accuracy, unless you're right on top of your target and moving in a straight line!!! How often does <i>that</i> happen?!? I find myself constantly falling back on the old projectiles. All that fancy schmancy crap is a big waste of money.<P>I wouldn't put it past those *censored* Erosians to try and *censored* up the laser program, either. Those laser cannon are a hell of a lot better than any of the crap they're using. It's amazing what they can do with that antique stuff, though. They got some brave people, I'll give 'em that, and their spies are usually top-notch SOB's.<P>All that treaty *censored* gets on my nerves, though. It's bad enough that our own dear Madame Prez pretty much castrated the military with her *censored* bleeding heart policies, but now they're holding up those outdated treaties that nobody but us adheres to?!? *censored!!!* I've been hearing rumors about some new assassination teams we're supposed to be coming up with, and Exedra <i>wrote</i> the *censored* anti-assassination treaty. Personally, I'm all for it. I'd like to see the Erosians scramble, after their grabby little maniac emperor was knocked off. Maybe one of the ones who had some sense of decency would take over. They sure couldn't get worse than what they've got now. This whole *censored* mess is his fault. If he hadn't snatched up Ardo (which was where I was planning on taking my vacation last year!!), we'd still be on 6 month local cruises, instead of 2 *censored* years each in the deep. Yeah, I'd like to personally twist his *censored* off and shove it down his throat. Sometimes, I think the independent colonies were a really bad idea. They allowed nuts like that to take over and cause trouble for the rest of us.<P>But I gotta be thankful for one thing: we're fighting the *censored*-less Erosians instead of the Cassareans. Far fewer casualties for us, that way. Their king <i>knows</i> the value of a fully-funded military force. They put more money into their military than anything else, and they'll break a treaty five seconds after signing it and glad-handing the diplomats all the *censored* way. Thank Buddha they're our allies, right now. A dogfight with one of theirs would make me feel like a baby sparrow in the sights of a hungry hawk.<P>
<P>------------------
Max<P>Fighter pilots do it <I>better.</I>
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Postby Max on Thu Mar 22, 2001 4:01 am

Hey, I'm not knocking Exedra. Believe me, I wouldn't want to live anywhere else, these days. We got the best air quality, the best economy and the best standard of living in the Alliance. It just irks me that our flight pay hasn't been raised in four years, because Our Lady of the Soft Heart thinks we're a nasty bunch of meanies, and we're working with outdated machines, in a lot of cases.<P>Speaking of which, I agree on the pulse cannon only being worthwhile for stationary targets. It works like a dream for blasting buildings from a straight dive. I don't often get down that low, though. It's sort of like those 40mm cannon they had on the fighters for a while. They were all agog about how powerful they were, and the things had the accuracy of a broken slingshot. Sigh...but that's what happens when desk jockeys think they know what works better than those of us who actually have to <i>use</i> the *censored.*<P>I'm gonna have to shut up about the Cassareans, though. I have major bones to pick with some of them, and I guess it ain't quite fair of me to be blasting them behind their backs. I'll just say I don't trust 'em as far as I could throw 'em, and leave it at that.<P>No concealed weapons...yeah, you must live in Meiji. Come on down to Palacia, where our HQ is. If you ain't packing down there, you're in big trouble. Nice looking women, too...all bronzed and uh... <i>ample.</i><P><P>------------------
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Postby Cannonshop on Thu Mar 22, 2001 5:45 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Max:
<B>Hey, I'm not knocking Exedra. Believe me, I wouldn't want to live anywhere else, these days. We got the best air quality, the best economy and the best standard of living in the Alliance. It just irks me that our flight pay hasn't been raised in four years, because Our Lady of the Soft Heart thinks we're a nasty bunch of meanies, and we're working with outdated machines, in a lot of cases.<P>Speaking of which, I agree on the pulse cannon only being worthwhile for stationary targets. It works like a dream for blasting buildings from a straight dive. I don't often get down that low, though. It's sort of like those 40mm cannon they had on the fighters for a while. They were all agog about how powerful they were, and the things had the accuracy of a broken slingshot. Sigh...but that's what happens when desk jockeys think they know what works better than those of us who actually have to <I>use</I> the *censored.*<P>I'm gonna have to shut up about the Cassareans, though. I have major bones to pick with some of them, and I guess it ain't quite fair of me to be blasting them behind their backs. I'll just say I don't trust 'em as far as I could throw 'em, and leave it at that.<P>No concealed weapons...yeah, you must live in Meiji. Come on down to Palacia, where our HQ is. If you ain't packing down there, you're in big trouble. Nice looking women, too...all bronzed and uh... <I>ample.</I><P></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Palacia??? Man, I can't afford the Rents out there! Besides, Me job's up here in Meiji, and the commutes 're bad enough. Be glad when a' gets anothah job doin' On-site works, (mebbe sign up f'r a hitch...nah, I'm too old now...)Like this gig. OH! Reminds me... (Reaches into toolbag, pulls out Black Box module) We've been fiddln' wit this for a few months, it's supposed'ta "Clean and Filter" the output on a Pulse Cannon, makes the packet tighter and hotter. Work order says put's 'em on the Stingrays, only prob is, I ain't sure it works, meself, Ah don't entiahly trust those R&D boys back in the home office, and y' Chief agrees with me. Neither of us is an Officer (she's a Chief, Me's a lowly Contract Spanner), But ye, y'er a Major. Mebbe puts a bug in some 'as ear about gettin' more testing done, before we risks the life an' limb o' our fightin' men? I've run tests of me own, back at the home office, I think the bloody thing's just another component to break at the wrong bloody time.
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Postby Max on Sat Mar 24, 2001 2:34 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Cannonshop:
<B> Palacia??? Man, I can't afford the Rents out there! Besides, Me job's up here in Meiji, and the commutes 're bad enough. Be glad when a' gets anothah job doin' On-site works, (mebbe sign up f'r a hitch...nah, I'm too old now...)Like this gig. OH! Reminds me... (Reaches into toolbag, pulls out Black Box module) We've been fiddln' wit this for a few months, it's supposed'ta "Clean and Filter" the output on a Pulse Cannon, makes the packet tighter and hotter. Work order says put's 'em on the Stingrays, only prob is, I ain't sure it works, meself, Ah don't entiahly trust those R&D boys back in the home office, and y' Chief agrees with me. Neither of us is an Officer (she's a Chief, Me's a lowly Contract Spanner), But ye, y'er a Major. Mebbe puts a bug in some 'as ear about gettin' more testing done, before we risks the life an' limb o' our fightin' men? I've run tests of me own, back at the home office, I think the bloody thing's just another component to break at the wrong bloody time.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Yeah, Palacia's pretty expensive. I forget, sometimes, as I get my lair on the tab of the Navy.<P>As for those filter things, leave 'em in their *censored* boxes. Your opinion and Di's are good enough for me. I'll go raise some hell on your behalf, upstairs. Although, I think they're starting to get used to me yelling about stuff. Nobody flinches any more. <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspace.com/forums/wink.gif"> I guess I'm gonna have to be nice and quiet for a while, so I can catch 'em off guard, again...<P><P>------------------
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