The magazine strip (outline)

Lordgeejay · Post by **Lordgeejay** » Mon May 07, 2001 7:59 am

Nice! Congrats! I envy you. <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspace.com/forums/biggrin.gif">------------------
Gabriel "Geejay" Fua
Visit Lovarian Adventures Webcomics at
<A HREF="http://lovarianadventures.keenspace.com" TARGET=_blank>http://lovarianadventures.keenspace.com</A>

Reinder · Post by **Reinder** » Mon May 07, 2001 10:36 am

I came home from a trip expecting to have to fix something about rocr.net and a rejection note from the magazine - instead I got a perfectly good update and a mostly positive response from the magazine. There will need to be some changes to the names and outfits but the editors seemed to be warming to my ideas.And they did like the more natural sized heads...------------------
Reinder Dijkhuis
<A HREF="http://www.rocr.net/" TARGET=_blank>Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan</A>, Humorous fantasy strip, updated Mon-Fri, and really rather good. <A HREF="http://www.rocr.net/d/20000701.html" TARGET=_blank>Read it from the first strip!</A>

Gordon · Post by **Gordon** » Mon May 07, 2001 11:52 am

Way to go! Congratulations, Reinder!

Dedos · Post by **Dedos** » Wed May 09, 2001 1:50 am

Is Floor a common name?
Or is it supposed to be unique?
I've heard of Flor... (Spanish)Regardless, I like the title!

Reinder · Post by **Reinder** » Wed May 09, 2001 10:18 am

Update: I'm finally picking up steam with the trial page. One constant worry is that I'm just not a good fashion illustrator. I know what people are wearing, but I don't always know how to draw it. I'm just not John Allison! Or Pauly. I'll scan a panel from the trial page just to show you how Floor (the character formerly known as Linda) looks now. Perhaps the strip should be titled "Floored by Steve"?------------------
Reinder Dijkhuis
<A HREF="http://www.rocr.net/" TARGET=_blank>Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan</A>, Humorous fantasy strip, updated Mon-Fri, and really rather good. <A HREF="http://www.rocr.net/d/20000701.html" TARGET=_blank>Read it from the first strip!</A>

Reinder · Post by **Reinder** » Wed May 09, 2001 10:24 am

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by Dedos:
Is Floor a common name?
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>It is, and probably more contemporary than Linda. But less international, clearly.------------------
Reinder Dijkhuis
<A HREF="http://www.rocr.net/" TARGET=_blank>Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan</A>, Humorous fantasy strip, updated Mon-Fri, and really rather good. <A HREF="http://www.rocr.net/d/20000701.html" TARGET=_blank>Read it from the first strip!</A>

Zapjones · Post by **Zapjones** » Thu May 10, 2001 12:34 am

Very nice. Very Terry Laban-ish.------------------
We know squat, and we like it that way. <A HREF="mailto:zapjones@usa.net">zapjones@usa.net</A>
<A HREF="http://zapjones.keenspace.com" TARGET=_blank>zapjones.keenspace.com</A>

Reinder · Post by **Reinder** » Thu May 10, 2001 6:25 am

And here's a sample of Floor's new look: <img src="http://users.bart.nl/~samizdat/pics/floor1.png">It also shows mistakes resulting from my lack of confidence in the inking which I am trying to remedy by tracing the whole thing and inking it again. This is beginning to look a lot like work but I also think the intense involvement will help me come up with something good in the end.------------------
Reinder Dijkhuis
<A HREF="http://www.rocr.net/" TARGET=_blank>Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan</A>, Humorous fantasy strip, updated Mon-Fri, and really rather good. <A HREF="http://www.rocr.net/d/20000701.html" TARGET=_blank>Read it from the first strip!</A>

Reinder · Post by **Reinder** » Sun May 13, 2001 12:52 am

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by zapjones:
Very nice. Very Terry Laban-ish.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Here are two other ones:<img src="http://users.bart.nl/~samizdat/pics/amberpush.png">
This one I wanted to show because it reminds me of vintage newspaper cartoonist Cliff Sterret's style, even though I wasn't deliberately trying to draw like that. Maybe I should put a Sterrett-style potted plant in the background? (Backgrounds in the trial page so far are very plain).<img src="http://users.bart.nl/~samizdat/pics/histeve.png">
This one bothers me a little. I've had to cut down the amount of space for the characters to the point where you can no longer see that Steve is holding a game controller. You can see the device in the previous panel, so the reader will know it's there. But it makes for a static drawing of Steve and maybe the gag in the next panel, where Steve says "&*#@! I'm dead" off-camera, will get lost. I've been staring at these panels for so long I can no longer get my mind in gear to solve this problem. Have any of you got a good idea?
I do like Steve's face though. I'm finally getting over the problem of the guys looking too old.
------------------
Reinder Dijkhuis
<A HREF="http://www.rocr.net/" TARGET=_blank>Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan</A>, Humorous fantasy strip, updated Mon-Fri, and really rather good. <A HREF="http://www.rocr.net/d/20000701.html" TARGET=_blank>Read it from the first strip!</A>

Gordon · Post by **Gordon** » Sun May 13, 2001 5:53 am

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by reinder:

This one I wanted to show because it reminds me of vintage newspaper cartoonist Cliff Sterret's style, even though I wasn't deliberately trying to draw like that. Maybe I should put a Sterrett-style potted plant in the background? (Backgrounds in the trial page so far are very plain).
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
I don't think you need a background in every panel. This one in particular looks good as is since its very action oriented. Some background in the panels where the sction isn't quite as intense would be good though.
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>
This one bothers me a little. I've had to cut down the amount of space for the characters to the point where you can no longer see that Steve is holding a game controller. You can see the device in the previous panel, so the reader will know it's there. But it makes for a static drawing of Steve and maybe the gag in the next panel, where Steve says "&*#@! I'm dead" off-camera, will get lost. I've been staring at these panels for so long I can no longer get my mind in gear to solve this problem. Have any of you got a good idea?
I do like Steve's face though. I'm finally getting over the problem of the guys looking too old.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
You seemed to have crammed quite a bit into a small panel. If you really are constrained to that size, maybe you could tweak the dialog a little if you want to highlight the video gaming. You can't add very much before its starts to look cluttered, but maybe something as simple as Roger saying, "We're busy!" after his present lines would draw attention to what they are doing without having to draw any additional hardware.
[This message has been edited by gordon (edited 05-13-2001).]