Damonk wants YOUR poetry!

Postby TheLaser on Thu Nov 30, 2000 9:31 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by damonk13:
<B> Congrats, Laser! You just showed an excellent example of "found poetry!"<P>This is actually one of the things that Augustus Young liked to do most with his word sonnets~~ go figure!!<P>I'm beginning to suspect that you may <I>be</I> Augustus Young in real life, The Laser... ;)</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>*pfft* Hardly. I'm probably the farthest thing from an Englishy type person there is. I am having quite a bit of fun with this quirky little form though. Just-barely-constrained writing is something I can pull off with a small amount of success at times. Iambic pentameter alone is somehow completely beyond me (which really sucks, as wonderful as it can sound).<P>*goes off and plays with some more word sonnets*<P>--
TheLaser is the PhotonicOne, not the AugustusOne
TheLaser
Regular Poster
 
Posts: 35
Joined: Fri Jan 01, 1999 4:00 pm

Postby TheLaser on Thu Nov 30, 2000 9:40 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by damonk13:
<B>Woohoo! Attempts at Word Sonnets!</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I have failed miserably in my search for word sonnets on the internet. All I get is about a hundred copies of "The <B>word sonnet</B> itself is a diminutive of son from the Latin word sonus.", "The <B>word sonnet</B> means little song", and "So I wrote an N-<B>word sonnet</B> about...."<P>Does anyone have a link or two to a webpage about this rather strange little form?<P>--
TheLaser
TheLaser
Regular Poster
 
Posts: 35
Joined: Fri Jan 01, 1999 4:00 pm

Postby Stig Hemmer on Thu Nov 30, 2000 10:39 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by TheLaser:
<B>Iambic pentameter alone is somehow completely beyond me (which really sucks, as wonderful as it can sound).</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Same here. In my case, I know why though.<P>To me, English is primarily a written language. I can read it easily and write it well, but when I try to speak it, I have a rather atrocious accent.<P>I can count syllables, barely, but finding "natural" stress points is beyond me.<P>Haiku works quite well.
Iambic Pentameter?
Not even limericks...<P>[Pentameter is four syllables, right? Pen-ta-me-ter (or -met-er?)<P>(The fact that I am what you would call a CS major, math minor doesn't exactly help either. My norwegian poetry only sucks slightly less)<P>------------------
Stig Hemmer, at your disservice.
User avatar
Stig Hemmer
Regular Poster
 
Posts: 81
Joined: Fri Jan 01, 1999 4:00 pm
Location: Trondheim, Norway

Postby Damonk13 on Thu Nov 30, 2000 11:17 am

Hehe...<P>I <I>told</I> you that it was a new and relatively untapped form!! <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspace.com/forums/biggrin.gif"><P>.<P><B>THE WORD SONNET: A BRIEF OVERVIEW
---------------------------------</B><P>The word sonnet was thought up by a Brit poet named <B>Augustus Young</B> about four years ago, but he did it more as a lark, getting a few published here and there, but never really trying to do anything with the form. He also got some of his poet-buddies to do some for more larkage purposes, and then pretty much left the form aside to die...<P>However, Canadian poet <B>Seymour Mayne</B>, friend of one of Augustus' said poet-buddies, liked the form and felt it deserved more attention, so he started playing with them.<P>Seymour then showed this new form to some of his Creative Writing students last year, and a number of <I>them</I> got really hooked on the form.<P>You likely won't find ANYTHING critical out there on the word sonnet yet ~~ in fact, no word sonnet collections have been published to date, though certain poet-friends of mine are currently working on one...<P>And yes, <I>I</I> was one of said students who got hooked on the form, enough that I have experimented a lot with them, creating all sorts of funky variations on a theme...<P>As stated earlier, the rules are remarkably simple, even if form itself is deceptively difficult (just like a haiku!):<P>-14 lines
-One word per line<P>These are the guidelines for the <B>standard word sonnet</B>. There are no other limits, though as I have said, being a new, raw form, there is much still that can be done with it... (I have worked on varying set syllabics per word or line, played with poly words/line [e.g., bi-word sonnets, tri-word sonnets, etc.], etc.)<P>All in all, it's fun to play with, but difficult to master ~~ I have written nigh-one hundred of them, and am satisfied with maybe a handful of those... <P>But, please! Play with them! <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspace.com/forums/biggrin.gif"><P>Let's have fun with word sonnets, folks!<P>
User avatar
Damonk13
Cartoon Hero
 
Posts: 2097
Joined: Fri Jan 01, 1999 4:00 pm
Location: The Great White North

Postby Ucchan on Fri Dec 01, 2000 11:05 am

Here's another one my sister inspired for me last night (we worked on it together):<P><I>Anata no sei.
Wakara nai desu ne;
Doko ni iku?</I><P>Translation:<P>This is all your fault.
I don't understand at all;
Where did you go to?<P>I dunno, but I think this can be read in many different levels. It gets to me ...<P>-Uc
Ucchan
Regular Poster
 
Posts: 424
Joined: Fri Jan 01, 1999 4:00 pm
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Postby TheLaser on Fri Dec 01, 2000 12:20 pm

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stig Hemmer:
<B> Same here. In my case, I know why though.<P>To me, English is primarily a written language. I can read it easily and write it well, but when I try to speak it, I have a rather atrocious accent.<P>I can count syllables, barely, but finding "natural" stress points is beyond me.<P>Haiku works quite well.
Iambic Pentameter?
Not even limericks...<P>[Pentameter is four syllables, right? Pen-ta-me-ter (or -met-er?)<P>(The fact that I am what you would call a CS major, math minor doesn't exactly help either. My norwegian poetry only sucks slightly less)
</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Well... I don't even have an excuse, but have basically the same problem. I put the em-phah-sis on the wrong sih-lah-bul far too much, and can't manage to move it somewhere else and make it sound natural. (Of course, I am a CS major and a potential math minor as well <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspace.com/forums/smile.gif"><P>I absoultely love that Haiku though.<P>--
TheLaser
TheLaser
Regular Poster
 
Posts: 35
Joined: Fri Jan 01, 1999 4:00 pm

Postby Damonk13 on Sat Dec 02, 2000 7:34 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Ucchan:
<B>Here's another one my sister inspired for me last night (we worked on it together):<P><I>Anata no sei.
Wakara nai desu ne;
Doko ni iku?</I><P>Translation:<P>This is all your fault.
I don't understand at all;
Where did you go to?<P>I dunno, but I think this can be read in many different levels. It gets to me ...<P>-Uc</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Tho I won't critique anything unless asked, I just want to say that I'm impressed that your translation also follows the 17-syllable parameter ~~ a <I>very</I> difficult task when transcribing from one tongue to another...<P>But I'm curious, how close is your formatted translation to the original? If you had to offer a straight-up direct translation, how would it differ from the 17-syllable translation?<P>I'd love it if you offered me a literal (non-poetic) translation of the original, just to compare... <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspace.com/forums/biggrin.gif">
User avatar
Damonk13
Cartoon Hero
 
Posts: 2097
Joined: Fri Jan 01, 1999 4:00 pm
Location: The Great White North

Postby Damonk13 on Sat Dec 02, 2000 7:35 am

I'm also glad to see that a few of you are playing with the word sonnet... keep it up!
User avatar
Damonk13
Cartoon Hero
 
Posts: 2097
Joined: Fri Jan 01, 1999 4:00 pm
Location: The Great White North

Postby TheLaser on Sun Dec 03, 2000 2:48 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PDI: (edited)<B>
I've
written
sonnets
and
sestinas
and
villanelles,
haiku
and
limericks,
but
mostly
free
verse...
</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>
Ummm.... was that intentional or am I found-poeticizing again? In any case, I kinda like it <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspace.com/forums/smile.gif"><P>
--
TheLaser<P>*oopsie*
<p>[This message has been edited by TheLaser (edited 12-03-2000).]
TheLaser
Regular Poster
 
Posts: 35
Joined: Fri Jan 01, 1999 4:00 pm

Postby TheLaser on Sun Dec 03, 2000 2:57 am

I had to go and rake up all the leaves that had fallen on the snow that melted last weekend. I was throughly annoied and came up with this to give my mind something to do besides moving a rake around.<P><center>In
Autumn,
leaves
on
trees
are
quite
lovely.
In
Winter,
leaves
are
just
heavy.</center><P>So? Whaddya think?<P>--
TheLaser<P>*bit of a clarification... wish UBB had a preview instead of an edit feature...*<p>[This message has been edited by TheLaser (edited 12-03-2000).]
TheLaser
Regular Poster
 
Posts: 35
Joined: Fri Jan 01, 1999 4:00 pm

Postby PDI on Sun Dec 03, 2000 9:50 am

God
Within
Apple
Heart
Sun
Heart
Your
Heart
Passion
Within
My
God
I
Am<P>(I've written sonnets and sestinas and villanelles, haiku and limericks, but mostly fee verse...nya nya nya)
<P>------------------
Scott Maddix
<A HREF="http://PDI.keenspace.com" TARGET=_blank>Psychic Dyslexia Institute:</A>
Where we all have <I>special</I> special powers
User avatar
PDI
Cartoon Hero
 
Posts: 3273
Joined: Fri Jan 01, 1999 4:00 pm
Location: San Diego

Postby Ucchan on Sun Dec 03, 2000 10:14 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by damonk13:
<B>But I'm curious, how close is your formatted translation to the original? If you had to offer a straight-up direct translation, how would it
differ from the 17-syllable translation?<P>I'd love it if you offered me a literal (non-poetic) translation of the original, just to compare... <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspace.com/forums/biggrin.gif"></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Hmm ... let me look at it again:<P><I>Anata no sei.
Wakara nai desu ne;
Doko ni iku?</I><P>Okay, here's a LITERAL translation:<P>Your fault.
Understand [or know] not am ["ne" has no REAL translation here; *I* consider it in this case to be "this" or "it."]
Where to [I take "ni" to be "to" in this case] go?<P>Now, if made more understandable in English terms:<P>It's your fault.
I am not understanding.
Where did you go?<P>Heh, something like that. <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspace.com/forums/tongue.gif"><P>-Ucchan
Ucchan
Regular Poster
 
Posts: 424
Joined: Fri Jan 01, 1999 4:00 pm
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Postby PDI on Mon Dec 04, 2000 11:32 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by TheLaser:
<B>
Ummm.... was that intentional or am I found-poeticizing again? In any case, I kinda like it <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspace.com/forums/smile.gif"><P>
--
TheLaser
</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Holy crap! Did I do that?!? I wonder if my unconscious knew about it.<P>(that one <I>was</I> on purpose.)<P>
User avatar
PDI
Cartoon Hero
 
Posts: 3273
Joined: Fri Jan 01, 1999 4:00 pm
Location: San Diego

Postby PDI on Mon Dec 25, 2000 12:06 pm

Yes. I am right.<P>------------------
Scott Maddix
<A HREF="http://PDI.keenspace.com" TARGET=_blank>Psychic Dyslexia Institute:</A>
Where we all have <I>special</I> special powers
User avatar
PDI
Cartoon Hero
 
Posts: 3273
Joined: Fri Jan 01, 1999 4:00 pm
Location: San Diego

Postby Glych on Thu Dec 28, 2000 11:59 am

<font color="red" size="-1">
<p>
Okay, I'll join in on the fun...
#1
<font color="green">
<b>Anonymous</b><P>I always weep through the night,
I can't even put up a fight.
My skin, it burns,
My stomach turns,
My eyes are red from lack of tears,
But still the light hold my fears,
I beg for mercy, I beg for days.
But still the light holds my preys...
Death will soon knock at my door,
And I will answer this call for.
The pain- a streak,
My body weak,
So I'll let go and fall asleep,
And will be buried very deep,
in the thoughts of those who hold,
The truth denied, The truth untold,
To why I weep, to why I cried,
To why I hurt, to why I died.<P><font color="purple">
#2
<b>My Parents</b>
My mom and my dad are not what they seem,
Their dull appearance is part of their scheme,
I know of their plans, I know their techniques,
My parents are outerspace alien freaks.<P>They landed on earth in spaceships humongous,
Posing as grown-ups, they now walk among us.
My parents deny this, but I know the truth.
They're here to enslave me, and spoil my youth.<P>Early each morning, as the sun rises,
My mom and dad put on their earthling disquises.
I knew right away, Their masks weren't legit.
Their faces are lined, they sag and don't fit.<P>The earths gravity makes them sluggish and slow,
They say not to run wherever I go.
They live my the clock, They're slaves to routines.
They work the year round, They're almost machines.<P>For sinister plots, this one is a gem,
They're bringing me up to turn me into <i>THEM</i><P><font color="magenta" size="-1">
Damonk..whadda' ya' think? E-mail me at the one on my site....<P><fonot size="+3">
<p>
-glych
<font color="black" size="-1">
<P>------------------
-glych
<a <A HREF="http://glych.keenspace.com
No" TARGET=_blank>http://glych.keenspace.com</A> No Stereotypes, what? Are you afraid you might like it?
User avatar
Glych
Cartoon Hero
 
Posts: 1340
Joined: Fri Jan 01, 1999 4:00 pm
Location: The throws of Hell!

Postby Reeker on Wed Jan 03, 2001 5:56 am

Hours
keyboarding.
Meals
eaten
alone.
Slaving
beneath
corporate
gods.
Passionless
career
pangs
the
soul.
User avatar
Reeker
Newbie
 
Posts: 3
Joined: Fri Jan 01, 1999 4:00 pm

Postby Damonk13 on Fri Jan 05, 2001 2:13 am

Wow!<P>I had missed the last few here while I was gone! It's nice to see that poets don't rest, even during the holidays! <P>Glych, since you asked, I just want to be sure, do you want to hear a quick and dirty opinion, or a patented Damonk poetic critique? Just checkin'... <IMG SRC="http://www.keenspace.com/forums/biggrin.gif">
User avatar
Damonk13
Cartoon Hero
 
Posts: 2097
Joined: Fri Jan 01, 1999 4:00 pm
Location: The Great White North

Postby Scrubbo on Fri Apr 19, 2002 10:16 am

O pioneering inksmith
with ideas that seep and seem
a whimsical farce, a lark, a spree
of lines that writhe and teem.

Wither are you taking us
on blackened wings of white?
The racing landscape is blurred out
and surely beyond sight!

Your minions must deceieve the eyes
and ears and tonsils too!
For no matter how you look at them
you're bound to miss a few.

A former captain of the ship
that sails atop the world
who was ousted by his crew
and in the brig was hurl'd?

A character of many eyes
whose snugger underground?
I do not think that stranger help
could easily be found!

A screeching horde of simians
who's scales range far and wide
who need merely infinate time
to wound the Bard with pride?

Yet the worst, a slobbering troll
to awful to behold
slinks round in shadows in the back
drawing what she's told.

I say to you, you wiley cad
you draw not what you mean!
We must read the signs to ken
what you'd prefer unseen.

So wither do you take us?
I ask this once again.
Whither do you take us
on imagination stretched so thin?

I do not think you have for me
the answer to my query.
I will not ask it again
for I am growing weary.

So lead me where you will you scamp
For I can't take my leave.
Your cunning trap of words and ink
Snagged me the first eve.

I will come, but this I know,
You truly do not lead.
We explore this madcap land
As friends, as pals, indeed.
Scrubbo
<A HREF="http://www.filthylies.net" TARGET=_blank>Filthy Lies</A> -Lame
<a href="http://www.boxcomics.com">Inside the Box</a> -Insipid
<A HREF="http://www.sillyconev.com" TARGET=_blank>Silly Cone V</A> -Ended
User avatar
Scrubbo
Cartoon Hero
 
Posts: 1654
Joined: Fri Jan 01, 1999 4:00 pm
Location: Madison, WI

Postby Scrubbo on Fri Apr 19, 2002 10:18 am

O pioneering inksmith
with ideas that seep and seem
a whimsical farce, a lark, a spree
of lines that writhe and teem.

Wither are you taking us
on blackened wings of white?
The racing landscape is blurred out
and surely beyond sight!

Your minions must deceieve the eyes
and ears and tonsils too!
For no matter how you look at them
you're bound to miss a few.

A former captain of the ship
that sails atop the world
who was ousted by his crew
and in the brig was hurl'd?

A character of many eyes
whose snugger underground?
I do not think that stranger help
could easily be found!

A screeching horde of simians
who's scales range far and wide
who need merely infinate time
to wound the Bard with pride?

Yet the worst, a slobbering troll
to awful to behold
slinks round in shadows in the back
drawing what she's told.

I say to you, you wiley cad
you draw not what you mean!
We must read the signs to ken
what you'd prefer unseen.

So wither do you take us?
I ask this once again.
Whither do you take us
on imagination stretched so thin?

I do not think you have for me
the answer to my query.
I will not ask it again
for I am growing weary.

So lead me where you will you scamp
For I can't take my leave.
Your cunning trap of words and ink
Snagged me the first eve.

I will come, but this I know,
You truly do not lead.
We explore this madcap land
As friends, as pals, indeed.
Scrubbo
<A HREF="http://www.filthylies.net" TARGET=_blank>Filthy Lies</A> -Lame
<a href="http://www.boxcomics.com">Inside the Box</a> -Insipid
<A HREF="http://www.sillyconev.com" TARGET=_blank>Silly Cone V</A> -Ended
User avatar
Scrubbo
Cartoon Hero
 
Posts: 1654
Joined: Fri Jan 01, 1999 4:00 pm
Location: Madison, WI

Postby Dakkron on Fri Apr 19, 2002 5:18 pm

I'm working on a bit of a webcomic promo poem parody thing... I expect to have it finished soon, I'll put it here when I'm done but, if anyone cares to help, I'm having trouble finding 1-syllable webcomics. Suggestions, anyone?
Aralunan: The next generation of RPG Webcomics: Coming soon... I hope!
Dakkron
Newbie
 
Posts: 10
Joined: Sat Mar 16, 2002 4:00 pm

PreviousNext

 

Return to FRAMED!!!



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron